what is the best strategy to deal with female co-workers?
i tried being nice to them, tried setting boundaries, tried avoiding them altogether, but at every job i've had i couldn't quite figure out how to deal with them - there's always something. right now i'm working in healthcare and i'm surrounded by ugly land-whales with piercings and tattoos, and a stinky attitude. how it goes is: they either try to boss me around (they're not my higher-ups, they have the same position as me) or they try to flirt with me. when i shoot that shit down, they try to destroy my reputation.
what's interesting is that i've never had this happen with: a) female supervisors, and b) actually good-looking women. both are usually nice or at least neutral.
ps: those women bossing me around - they're not better than me at the job, 9 time out of 10 i'm better at the job than them, and 1/10 we're equal. it's like they believe i'm their slave based on the fact that i have and a cock and balls.
Intrepid_Place53900 1 1y ago
I've been in similar spots.
Be 100% professional. Be nice , but not flirting. Don't joke around, you will get in trouble.
some of these women (WANT) to get you fired/in trouble. They will use anything at all to get it and possible manufacture it. That's why you stay professional, you don't flirt, you don't joke around. You are the boring quintessential professional guy, that over time the whole workplace will know that's your Modus operandi.
So, if there's accusations at that point, everyone knows you are the professional guy, it doesn't make sense and they'll question anything different.
You also don't let them boss you around, push back and keep it professional.
benzino 1y ago
I'm coming from somewhat of a similar situation but with male coworkers.
In this case, I don't think the riff comes from male-female dynamics but from the fact that you're better than them at your job and likely younger/ better looking. Insecurity kicks in, they hate themselves for being inferior and they direct that hate towards you.
Ignoring them works if they're not your higher-ups. Focus on your work, show your worth to the company and they'll keep you. If it affects your work, talk to a manager/supervisor about their toxic behavior. A guy at my work (team lead) also gives me shit because I was better than him, but I went straight to the manager to complain and have now been moved to a different division where he has little influence.
What you need to do now is giving them zero ammunition. Don't engage in talks with them where you might slip up and they can use that against you. With females, the biggest risk is accusations of sexual harassment. Even when you joked with somebody else who took no offense, these people can eavesdrop and accuse you of inappropriate behavior. So don't do anything that can potentially be interpreted as such. Show up, work, get your pay check.
And always remember you have zero obligation to make these people like you. You should already be having friends outside of work, and these are just people you work with. There are people in this world that, that if they did like you, you would have to think a little less of yourself, and these snakes are that kind of people.
Overkill_Engine Endorsed Contributor 1y ago
I'd like to second this. If you can, transfer to a WFH position. Major advantage to such is it raises the barrier to communications and ensures that most forms of communications like email, instant message, and the like are documented in at minimum three locations - your machine, their machine, and the server.
Making it far harder for any of them to manufacture a he said/she said.
First-light 1 1y ago
When you are outnumbered and out gunned, keep your head down. Its their workplace, they make the rules of what goes and what does not, do it their way -just aim to charm, go with their low level flirting, complementing in return but but never escalating it. Never actually do anything sexual with any of them but let them all know they are lovely when they want the reinforcement.
Then go home laughing. Its sadly the best strategy for survival until the day (probably in generations time), when male dominance re-asserts itself in the work place because results matter not being agreeable. Look which way the hamster wheel is spinning and give it an extra nudge -what a sweet man!
financehardo420 Should i (x1) 1y ago
Bro there’s not shit you can do. Try to give off libtard feminist vibes if possible and hope they don’t decide to target you for being a typical straight white male.
whytehorse2021 1y ago
I believe he's black and foreign born...
AbusiveFather1 1y ago
i am black... from the waist down!
i'll see myself out
financehardo420 Should i (x1) 1y ago
Could be wrong but I think he’s Eastern European
AbusiveFather1 1y ago
that's right, soviet bloc represent
whytehorse2021 1y ago
Ah, a commie. Gulag Archipelago style. We thought Russia had the 2nd largest military in the world... now we know they have the 2nd largest military in Ukraine...
AbusiveFather1 1y ago
at least i have chicken
financehardo420 Should i (x1) 1y ago
Bro there’s not shit you can do. Try to give off libtard feminist vibes if possible and hope they don’t decide to target you for being a typical straight white male.