This night I went out with a really hot girl that wanted to fuck right away, but I didn't plan on logistics because I didn't expect that nor her, so we didn't have a place ready besides her big car where we touched and kissed for 3 hours. Everything looks good, right? Well, at some point it was really late and she had to leave so we started to slow things down and start just talking. She told me she has a dog and I showed her a picture of my parent's dog, she instant paralyzed like she saw a fucking ghost. She told me that her mother knows them, but I don't believe her fully, there's more that meet the eye IMO. It's a very long way from having her hands inside my pants to a total fucking scared faced.
Now, my parents are a total mess, I had to become the parent of my own parents at very young age and I still do despite the fact they treated me bad in my upbringing. I had social workers because they didn't feed me and provide clothes so I know what's poverty means. It's unreal how they are a constant looming in my life, what a disgrace.
TBH, I don't think I will messaged the girl ever and I don't think she will, we will ghost each other without knowing what's really happened. My behavior is destructive in general, because I cannot see a full spectrum of the things, to me they are only black or white. In this spot, I think that knowing my parents is a dealbreaker, not just a small minus so to speak. I think this thing might obliterate the attraction we have. So, as said, I don't play to text her or meet her in the gym, for me that moment counted more than the entire night when she gave me her ultimate greenlight to fuck her right away. What's your opinion on my last paragraph? Do you have any advice? I went to therapy for 2 years, it helped but it seems my parents footprint will last for my entire life
mattyanon Admin 3w ago
This is actually kinda bad. You want to be teasing and leaving, or fucking. Touching and kissing her for 3 hours isn't sending the right message here.
That's a bit fucked up, and kinda odd. Might be true though.
How so?
Dude, it's a battle. Keep doing the best you can. And next time don't tell the girl anything about your parents or your past.
First-light 3w ago
I can't see your behaviour being destructive in this. I can see your self image about your background being a ball and chain.
There is not enough evidence to go on as to why she reacted how she did. The truth may be simple as you think -she knows its a bad family- but it might be a lot freakier too. Really you won't know about this but why not try to arrange another date. You can always mention very briefly in some way that yes your parents are dysfunctional and you are supporting them. I would spin this as a strength of yours. If it turns out the reasons are freakier -her mum and your mum hate each other because of some past wrong on did the other, then its going to be harder but don't let yourself be held back by what is actually a strength -overcoming a hard start.
Lone_Ranger 1 3w ago
Nonsense.
You are writing the script for the rest of your life, and the script is a sad story.
Stop it. Lots of people come from difficult backgrounds, and go on to have great lives.
You can write your own life story from now on - ask yourself this:
What do you want that life to look like? Do you want be a victim, or do you want to be a winner?
whytehorse2021 3w ago
Maybe you should ditch the shitty parents, fuck the hot chick, and find some decent people to be in your life.
financehardo420 3w ago
First of all I feel like there’s no way English your main language this was somewhat hard to read/understand.
However: do you think it might be possible her mom knows your parents as in her mom was like one of those social workers or some shit? Idk. Sounds like your parents are some shitbags and maybe the reputation preceded them in this case. However… if I’m understanding correctly she was still down to fucc?
Fuck away man. Don’t live in the shadow of your parents.
MatteMatto 3w ago
Yeah sry English isn't my main language you have caught me :D
Well man, I don't know what happened and she could have told me the truth meaning she recalled of their dog and found everything strange. She is still down to fuck, probably I was more disturbed than her
BecomingABetterMan1 3w ago
Asking as someone who hasn't had a first date in like 8 years...
Is 3 hours of making out prior to fucking - normal? My face would fuckin hurt and my lips chapped.
It just seems like a lost cause if you're playing tonsil hockey for even an hour without escalating to get your dick wet.