There's a very hot girl in my gym who is constantly around me and it's pretty clear to everyone she's interested in me. She's qualify to me in different ways, always flattered if I give her a rare compliment, she never mentioned his BF until lately when she said she has a lot of doubts. The question is about the latter. She is 24, with a count of only 2, levelheaded, has a mortgage for a house, a very good family, and strong bond. It's clear that the relationship was over years ago, but she is still in and she has to make a choice. I have huge social proof and everybody at the gym stares at our interactions (some guys told me they want to compete, but I don't fear them, quite the contrary, I've encouraged them to fight). There are 2 groups, therefore 2 opinions of her situation: The first group thinks nobody has a chance right now because of his situation with her bf, not his bf, but her values toward the relationship (I'm in this camp), namely she doesn't cheat as personal value. The other group thinks she is longing for me to ask her out.
I have great social proof because I'm brilliant with people and have a lot of empathy, while I have a lot of other flaws, I cannot recognize that I'm totally off-scale with people. I have an abundance mentality having 2 girls on my radar, and no fear of rejection, but my gut instinct tells me to stay away untill she solves this mess. This is the only girl who I think this way, while all the previous engaged ones felt single for me.
What's your advice?
whytehorse2021 3mo ago
I would just friend-zone her and use her for social proof and preselection. Fuck all her hot friends while she figures out how to dump her bf.
coolsocks00 1 3mo ago
She she she. What a silly scenario you people have made up over some good looking broad. No wonder women have ridiculous expectations.
Throw her some bait, complete plausible deniability, and see if she bites. If she doesnt, there’s your answer.
You and everybody else at the gym are just providing her with her regular ego validation session, while BF keeps piping. Lol
No-Stress-Cat 3mo ago
From the way you describe it, sounds like you are the monkey branch.
Her boyfriend probably doesn't even know the hammer is about to drop.
The moment she takes the leap, you're going to be dealing with ex-bf drama.
I would hard pass on this one.
MatteMatto 3mo ago
Ty a lot for this comment, I haven't thought about that
MrSupreme 3mo ago
Advice would be watching out for things getting awkward after a rejection.It can get stupid like her flirting with some other guy, always while you're watching.Some chicks get petty like that,they're just playing.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 3mo ago
I want to help but i really can't figure out what you're talking about. The first paragraph is very jumbled. Is this girl engaged? Current bf? I am so confused based on the wording
MatteMatto 3mo ago
Sry for the mess, English isn't my main language but this shouldn't be an excuse for my poor writing, next time I will make sure to triple-checked and do my best to write correctly.
She has a bf since 4 years, but she isn't into him. She told me the relationship is basically over but she has to find the courage to leave him. So that's a very great news for me, but at the same time, I'm not positive about the whole situation. Obv I'm summarizing here, it's just not a feeling it's that I'm very good to create rapport and I'm able to connect deeply with people. She isn't the classic teen, she has a very low body count (2), with very strong family values. IMO she wouldn't cheat because this act isn't congruent with her values and it has nothing to do with her bf. That's the problem, I'm not competing with his bf, but with her values, which are a totally different monster to beat. This is the first time in my life I feel his way about an engaged girl, because my default setting is: "all girls are single" so it's a greenlight to hit on them (unless they are gf's of my friends ofc). So I think I would listen to my gut and wait a little bit more because I don't think anybody got a chance. I just want to make clear that this isn't fear of rejection at all and I don't depict her as a unicorn. I have abundance mentality talking to every girl and friting with the ones I like, just to confirming that I didn't get ONEitis for her, infact I've got other plates to spin.