I know I've been bringing this topic up a bit, but im in the process of filing it away for good, just need to understand something that just perplexes me to this day so I can file it away in the back of my memories. We are no longer talking, I deleted her number last night, and I am actually moving out the country for a few months (Im living abroad), so there will be no contact, and I will return in August, using this as a chance to move on.
So the background is simple. I met my FWB and we saw eahcother for 4 months. I ran super strict red pill game, never showed weakness, fucked her good, no neediness, even did some bdsm, we were having raw sex. Eventually came the "I miss you from her" then the "I love you" by month 3. When I met her she told me she was single and hasnt had an ex for 6 months. I told her the same, recently out of relationship.
Multiple times when seeing each other she would always mention how shes alone, single and lonely, has no friends, never mentioned a boyfriend. I NEVER asked her status, its just something she always brought up at least half a dozen times in the 4 months we saw each other. By month 3 she actually added me on social medias, and I did some curious lurking and found her TikTok and found a guy commenting on her page.
Clicked it and she had full-on relationship-style photos of them in each others arms on dates, captions of being in love (written by him), shes commenting back saying she loves him. Theyre actual bf/gf and not just plating each other. Meanwhile shes literally cheating on him with me. It stung because at this point i was considering LTR, and I was starting to emotionally invest because she said she loved me and etc. (The L word is usually not used lightly)
I started to piece together everything, why sometimes she would reschedule a lot. I thought it was low interest, but i realized its because she was trying to be slick and work her schedule around her bf so he doesnt get suspicious. At one point we were seeing eachother almost 3x/wk and he would call her all the time while were cuddling after sex and start yelling sounding insecure. She would literally get up go to the bathroom come back lie and say it was her brother.
Anyways I got a bit disappointed with the entire situation, and I had another girl on my IG story. We went on a date. My fwb starts acting up on social media, posting memes aimed at me: You dont lose whats not for you. Dont change them, change how you treat them. Etc. She started ignoring my texts for the first time. After a week or so she came back around and we met up at my apartment, we fucked, she asked if i was seeing other girls. I told her Sometimes, she seemed sad. She told me she wasnt seeing anyone else. I decided she has to do the work if she wanted me to herself, so i just held frame on that.
She ended up blocking me and deleting me after. She was clearly mad or jealous i was seeing another girl. Even though she was cheating on me with her boyfriend. I never admitted that I knew she had one. I just kept the info to myself. Anyways Thats the last time i saw her. I ended up reaching out and fixing things wanting to be exlcusive.
She said "I cant be in a relationship right now because XYZ" "Thats why I dont have a boyfriend" etc. "I cant be in a relationship for now but we can still see each other as we did before" was what she told me. I then followed up on it and she didnt follow through on it. She even told me "Im not in X City". I asked if she was just out of town or moved away. She didnt reply. If she wanted me gone she would tell me she moved (even though i wouldnt believe it)... anyways Thats when i chose to go NC
Even when rejecting me she still CHOSE to lie about her boyfriend. This is the part that blows my mind. I cannot logically piece that together. If she wants to end things, 99% of the time girls will say "I have a boyfriend sorry". Usually if they lie about being single, its a strong IOI that they want you, as to not scare you off. I ended up realizing that it was not personal, most girls would cheat on their boyfriend but not necessarily branch swing until its over. Very few women replace boyfriends with another instantly. Theres always a long process to it. I think shes scared to admit she has a boyfriend to me, because shell think ill be gone.
I watched Alpha Male Strategies and he said that girls who do this are lining up replacements. And that its common for her to reach out months later as soon as he fucks up. AMS mentioned that you have to be patient and "play your role" if youre ever in this position and its common for them to only fuck you once a month and disappear depending on her relationship, and that when she breaks up she will come back given you didnt get butthurt or chase her.
So anyways im in no contact now. And the more I think about it, I still cannot figure out why she would still lie about being single even in our "break up" text. It makes me think that this isnt a rejection and maybe one of those rare situations where she couldnt be in a relationship with me due to circumstances, and she wants to keep the door open to me. And maybe i shouldnt take it so personally. Either way Im going No Contact for a solid 4 months and when i return and decide to check up on her, maybe i can just fuck her and not LTR her
As of now i started no contact, she hasnt replied to my texts, i did one double text to make sure, and i realize its time to walk away.
Please no feedback unless you have been in a situation where girl has a boyfriend and cheated with you for an extended period, its a different dynamic from a truly single fwb or plate.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1y ago
I'll read this later but another novel about the same bitch??
Dude, internalize RP. You're consistently not internalizing anything. Don't even have to read your post to tell you why she lied. But I'll read it later
Redpillpusher 1y ago
I will state what I said a few days ago in a reply to another user: I can tell you're a young man, 21-25. This post is a prime example showing how you young guys are getting more and more feminine. This post is something I would expect from a woman in anguish after finding out her man isn't hers alone. First of all she lied because she was attempting to monkey branch from her man to you. This actually shows that she views you as high value yet your on here crying about why she lied instead of relishing in the fact and understanding that that is female nature. Secondly, like V stated, you need to internalize RP and be a man. This is pathetic and, like I've been stating, the reason why men like me who are at the most a decade older than you, successfully competing for women your age, without being very wealthy. This post is disgusting
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1y ago
Thank you.
I don't know what OPs actually internal problem is but i suspect it's fake alpha. Enough rote memorization to pull a lot of hoes but not enough actual substance underneath the surface of it all. Banging whores for exp only goes so far and only requires a formulatic approach to acquiring women.
Acquiring and keeping anything other than a hoe requires an actual understanding of women. I think OP is stuck in a hoe-acquisition cycle because he can't get or keep much else and now he's on the finding out part of getting emotional close to another crafty hoe.
Sure, she lied, but she was always a hoe and OP treated her like she wasn't one and now he's confused
The answer is only skin deep here. She was a lying hoe, and OP treated her like she was more than one and is now trying to find meaning it. That's it. She was only good for recreational use and OP is wondering why a woman with no commitment value would lie. She's a hoe. That's it. Any more philosophical masturbation over why she did it is a disgusting waste of time for OP
Redpillpusher 1y ago
Concise summary
Hondurak 1y ago
Trust me, I know this. Its actually why im making the post trying to figure it out. Because despite this very strong indicator, when i pursued her for a relationship (After she dropped the hints), she still rejected me. And even DURING the rejection she still kept it a secret. By that logic how could she both reject me and want to monkey branch to me? If you reject someone, you close the door on them not leave it open. so they stop asking or "bugging" you hence the whole "I have a boyfriend" card women pull..
Im not whining about being the superior branch, im just trying to make sense how despite that evidence things fell this way. I literally do not understand it. And were not even on talking terms anymore.
I felt extremely high value because i made her cheat on him with me, and i was her alpha basically. But now i cant help but feel that she thinks hes better than me. She literally chose him over me.
Redpillpusher 1y ago
You do not understand women, something you must address. You were spending all that time together, cuddling, having raw sex, etc. Thus, you were her other boyfriend, didn't have to officially say it. So for you to go on a date with someone else after all that is the same as you cheating. The point is it doesn't matter. What you are doing is seeking closure, a typical female act. This is ridiculous and, although it makes it easier for us older folks to take your women, will do you no favors as you get into more relationships. You need to 1) understand female nature & women on a personal level & 2) stop emulating female emotional behavior. It's fascinating how little you understand why they behave like they do yet emulate their behaviors such as finding closure, developing oneitis, etc
Hondurak 1y ago
I agree with everything but the "going on a date with someone else is the same as you cheating".. thats actual bullshit. Im assuming youre an older guy from the way you write, but in this generation it is NOT the same. Nowadays you are non-exclusive until its talked about. Ive lived in USA and Brazil and Colombia. Its the same thing in all these countries! Its universal. Its hilarious how many fwbs act like bf/gf with each other. It doesnt mean anything until exclusivity is discussed.
She even told me herself, she asked if ive ever been unfaithful. I told her "not in a relationship". She asked me that maybe 3-4 times (which i thought was weird). I had the same asnwer, she completely understands that when a man isnt in a relationship he is non-exclusive.
Am i seeking closure? Yes. But not from her. Just from a male dominated group. I need it to help me move on quicker. Its just easier for me. Seeking closure is not feminine, its just understanding and internalizing what went wrong/right, to learn from. Its literally how men learn things when they fail.
liftheavystuff 1y ago
You remind me of myself in the sense that you seem very intelligent, almost to a fault, and that you over intellectualize things, seeking a logical explanation for events.
I've learned over the years to try to stop doing this. They are squirrels that chase dopamine and resources; leave it at that.
Redpillpusher 1y ago
I'm not saying that you 2 were exclusive, I am telling you how she viewed it, despite nothing bring official. A constant RP theme is too never listen to a woman's words, view her actions, yet you're here stating that nothing was verbally agreed on, like that matters for a woman. And finding closure after a breakup is almost a solely feminine behavior. I've never hit an ex up asking why didn't it work out. But women typically may come back after a few years just to find out why. A man with options and a solid foundation wouldn't have time to ask around, he would be continuing on his mission or with a replacement ho right now
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1y ago
Wanted validation that another man could want to ltr her or considered branching but didn't
It's not complicated dude. She was a lying hoe playing lying hoe musical branches
Hondurak 1y ago
Facts. But why would she still lie about being single during our "break up" talk? Thats the biggest mystery here.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1y ago
Is this a serious question??
ASD dude. This is what I'm talking about with you not internalizing basic RP.
She wanted to be the solipsistic cake and eat it too slut she was without anyone judging her being the cheating slut that she was.
Some women just have no shame and will lie about their sexual ventures even when given a pass
Hondurak 1y ago
I’ve always read the “I don’t have a boyfriend” as showing sexual or relationship availability. In this context, trying to keep the door open to me if things go left. In my case ltr is off the table
To me it’s the classic monkey branch foundation
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1y ago
Ya know, i don't have a boyfriend often just means they don't have a boyfriend...
"Sir do you own an electric vehicle?"
"No I don't mr salesman"
"Okay great that must mean you will buy our electric vehicle now, cash or card?"
You see how dumb it is to assume relationship or sexual interest from a tidbit of information? Gotta lay off the autism man.
Hondurak 1y ago
"I dont have a boyfriend" when she clearly does indicates branch swinging or cheating behavior. We can split hairs all we want , but i know if you saw a text of your LTR telling a guy she didnt have a boyfriend you wouldnt be cool with that.
"I have a boyfriend" = rejection = dont ask me out, im not available, but im putting you down nicely. Thats why girls say that shit to incels all the time hahah. First words out their mouths.
And also if we wanna get really specific she wouldnt need to add that in her break up text to me. "I cant be in a relationship right now" is enough. The fact that she added a reason and then capped it with "Thats why i dont have a boyfriend" is her going out of her way again to tell me that unnecessarily.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1y ago
I'm going to split hairs here.
Some women are liars. Liars lie. That doesn't mean i don't have a boyfriend generally just means they don't have a boyfriend
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1y ago
Also, why the fuck are you having a relationship conversation with a woman? That's her job dude. Man, hit the TRP correctly
Hondurak 1y ago
Because she blocked and deleted me when i played it cool. If you read closely, I didnt bring it up initially.
Her: Have you been with other girls? Me: Sometimes, have you been with other guys? Her: No, just you. End of Convo .. My plan was to just operate per usual. Never bring it up until she does. I was prepared to play the patience game. She ended up sucking my cock right after. Then we had sex. She immediately wanted to leave after we cleaned up after having sex. I knew something was up then.
I walked her out, we were civil. By no means did i think we were done or anything. Nothing alarming but she didnt wanna cuddle and have more sex after i told her that. I walked her to her uber She left and thats the last time i saw her. I knew something was up but i figured she was just having a small jealousy fit shell get over it and pursue me hard. I hit her up a few days later to set something up. I was blocked. Two days later, deleted my number (on whatsapp you can tell when someone does this).
I did not bring up the relationship. She got mad/jealous. Only at this moment I felt i NEEDED to bring it up. Thats when I hit her up on my second number, and told her that I did want to be with her, told her i made a mistake i shouldve said something at the time etc. Then thats when she rejected me anyways.
I never truly pushed for it. I was unspokenly ultimatum'ed. She severed contact right away after our last date. Thats also why i dont think she was looking for validation as you thought. She had the actions of a hurt girl.
Let me make this clear: I never brought up that convo "are you seeing anyone else?"... I never brought up the emotional "I love you" "I miss you"... everything was initiated by her and on her timing. Thats a formula that has ALWAYS worked flawlessly for me. Let them bring it up. Reciprocate 2/3.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1y ago
You had a relationship conversation with a woman (for one, which is a huge NO NO)
And two, AFTER she blocked you??
Jesus Christ man, talk about being in a woman's frame and wanting to start off a relationship with that petulant behavior
You need to learn red pill. This shouldn't have taken 5 paragraphs to respond to me.
Have some self respect and relearn RP
Hondurak 1y ago
In an ultimatum setting, yes. Why should I act like i dont want a LTR when i did the whole time? I saw the moment and struck. Was it late AFTER she blocked me? Most likely. But that was COMPLETLEY unpredictable to assume i would be blocked with no fall out or argument or bitch fest. We literally left on good terms
Petulant behavior? Yes. But in the same light, a bit endearing because at the time it came across as a 'hate and love are both the same thing' type of action. Like she blocked me because she was so jealous and she had so many feelings for me (this is how i read into it). Also, petulant as in only the block. Thats immature as fuck. But she never disrespected me. She didnt trash my house. She didnt make a scene on the way out.
I took it as a tantrum fueled off her feelings for me. Im all for dickmatizing bitches to where they have toxic feelings-fueled reactions from the cocktail i give them. I had an ex block me after a break up and i got her back the next day. Blocking someone is a highly emotional reaction. Girls dont block guys they dont like. Its only Chads who they feel fucked over with. Girls do block creeps who they have no sexual history with and are always texting them however. But this was not the case.
Same with deleting numbers. Girls only delete numbers when theyre guys they are trying to move on from. Its a heavy cope mechanism after break ups. Otherwise they would be indifferent. If i deleted a girlfriend after an argument she would think im butthurt as FUCK. Then she would laugh with her friends at me.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1y ago
It doesn't matter how you took it, that's no way to enter a relationship.
You are extremely dense man
Hondurak 1y ago
Yea she had issues to react that way. Its clear she didnt have the reaction of a "normal" girl. But she never disrespected me outright and treats me good in person, so I took it as a one-off.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1y ago
Read your own comments man. Everything is a rationalization for you.
You are stuck on an autistic thought loop.
It's either or. She was good LTR material or not
Clearly she wasn't and even if she hadn't been cheating this is an extremely toxic way to start an LTR and she would have been a horrible gf
Stop rationalizing everything it's disgusting
Hondurak 1y ago
Idk if you remember but when she told me she didnt want a relationship, she said we could still see each other we normally did. I then followed up and tried to set something up. Last time we talked I tried to set up something and she told me "Hey Im not in X city". I asked her when she was coming back or if she moved, because it was a weird reply. Even if i didnt believe it, i just wanted to see her response. I wanted to give her an easy "out" to take if she wanted me to leave her alone.
She left it on read. That was our last text. How would you read into that? If she wants me to leave her alone, wouldnt she have said "I moved away" even if it is 99% most likely a lie? Instead she didnt answer at all, seemingly wanting to keep the door open and keep things ambiguous.
How should I read into that?
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1y ago
Dude, I remember your whole story, but it's still retarded, and you're still in her frame
Re learn RedPill
DonDripp 1y ago
Go to some other askTRP post, read from 3rd party perspective.
See the answers/
20 replies, 20 different people, 20 different points of view and every one of them is right even if at times conflicting. GO and see.
You got conditioned to certain beliefs, outcomes, expectations. Only you MIGHT know why. Anyway that's all you can see.
There is a book [D Bus?] that give several [?] hundred reasons why woman will fuck a dude. If he would be bothered he could write several more books with another several hund examples why woman: cheats, cries, have orbiters, settles after 30, lies etc.
Sometimes you need to assume you will never know. It is all cool and fun to have metal gymnastics and wank, as to why something happened, but in the end this is only that.
I'm saying that only coz VRX says you went trough it manytimes already and he is a patient man.
I can get you that you want to find the pattern, that's how man's brain is working, but then no pattern is a pattern as well. You are trying to guess from unlimited number of possibilities.
That is no different if I ask you to guess the umber I have on my mind from 0 to 1,345,431,972,716
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Vermillion-Rx Admin 1y ago
You son of a bitch
XD
whytehorse2021 1y ago
I understand what's going on. I have a crazy sister. One time I was asking an older friend why she does this crazy stuff. He said it doesn't make sense because she's crazy and crazy people do crazy things. There is no why to it. It's just how that person is. Why did your ex lie? Because she's a liar. That's who she is.
First-light 1 1y ago
Some women like their bread buttered on both sides. Men are so thirsty and forgiving that women can often get away with it. The women can schedule a guy into tiny pockets of their life and so long as he gets to bang her almost every time he sees her, he is fine with it. She can cancel and re-schedule and so long as he gets to bang her (which is usually what she wants too) he is happy. Women won't accept the same form a man unless its at the very beginning of a relationship.
What this leads to is some women who just want it all and feel entitled to it all. They spin you as plates. Its slightly different but its the same result. Check out the "main" boyfriend. He is probably a massive cuck who tolerates all this. He is probably a wealthy beta or he is just super simp who will come when called and do what is asked. He may just be the guy she has been with for ages and all her social circle know and he tolerates it. She has now learned that she can have what she likes. She likes you being thirsty and falling for her. She knows you will look at her a bit differently if she tells you she is a slut, so she has a different relationship with you.
I have been the guy like you once. All situations are a bit different but the girl I was involved with never wanted me to tell people in her main social circle that we were together. She would never admit she was seeing older men for money. (The older men were in her main social circle and knew each other!) She would say she couldn't have a boyfriend now because she was studying but that she and I would get married one day and invite all her friends including the old men (always her suggestion as I had been married once and would never do it again). Whether she meant it or not who knows and who cares but I think it was all part of the fun of having lots of options for her.
Some women have learned to lie a lot and it just doesn't hurt them any more. They feel entitled to it because when they lie it works 99.9 % of the time. The other 0.1% a plate breaks but there are more plates out there.
liftheavystuff 1y ago
good stuff here
Einsamer 1y ago
Not reading all of that.
But, there are a couple of reasons. For example, she wants to reduce chances that you find out and contact her BF or sabotage her relationship. She doesn't want you to think bad about her for cheating or maybe even reject her because of that.
W0menz are mindful about how others see them, more so than men. Keep it in mind, because it is very often a good explanation or approximation of why they do the things they do.
dongking 1y ago
Holy shit man. Let it go. You have severe oneitis and spend hours everday thinking about this cheating slut.
LET IT GO, LET IT GO. Bye Felicia.
liftheavystuff 1y ago
Good advice here.
Would add: stop banging these hoes raw.
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Hondurak 1y ago
Yes, she was heavily considering branch swinging and didnt want me to find her to be an unfit LTR and/or leave if i found out she had a boyfriend.
The truth is everyone is a back up plan the second you fuck a girl with a boyfriend. I understood it takes patience to play this role. And as long as shes cheating on him with you, you are the "first choice" here, or the "winner" and its just a matter of time before you can supplant him.
But my post was mainly wondering, why would she still lie about the boyfriend in the break up? Before it was because she wanted to branch swing. But in her break up text she still mentions shes single and has no bf. Do you think shes still trying to use me as a back up plan in the future? It just makes no sense.
[deleted] 1y ago
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