Had a bad experience a while ago that has been haunting me ever since. Met a girl and took her back to an airbnb and I came even before I put it in. I ended up fucking her properly days later but it took a while since I was so anxious i couldn't even get hard. My anxiety comes and goes but it gets so bad I even have a hard time approaching and escalating because i don't want to embarrass myself when its showtime.
For context, I am in my twenties, fit and haven't watched porn in more than three years, so it definitely isn't ED or Porn Induced ED. I am able to effortlessly bang old plates but when it's a new girl my anxiety revs up.
I have finally come to accept I have a problem and i want to fix it. Right now i am throwing everything at the wall and seeing what sticks.
Intrepid_Place53900 3w ago
I think you have this all backward.
You don't have ED, you don't really have anxiety. If it was anxiety you probably wouldn't be able to come or get hard.
What you have is, new girls turn you on. by the time you are ready to bang, you are climaxing. Nothing unusual, especially with young guys. I had this issue when I was very young, and with girls where we did a lot of foreplay, I was so worked up with the foreplay, I'd climax after a few thrusts.
Learned to adjust. Have her give you a blow job first. I was able to actually stay hard after I climaxed, so then I gave her a good ride.
If you can't get hard soon after you climax, then you need to turn yourself down.
mentally think about something else to turn you off a bit. I do this today even as an old geezer, so that I can last longer. It's more fun to come together, but with women it's tough to time.
redhawkes 2 3w ago
Coolidge effect. Just act as you've fucked her before. The anxiety comes from thinking of what's going to happen and getting in your head, be present and meditate.
Catch yourself when this is happening and focus on your breathing or think about your naked grandma lmaoo
ObliviousDuck 3w ago
On a biomechanical level, work on your pelvic floor: front and back kegels and reverse kegels.
You can use reverse kegels to prevent the involuntary kegels that bring you closer to climax and use one strong kegel when coming and lock it in place.
When you are strong enough and with proper timing, you can achieve dry orgasms and multiple orgasms.