Backstory: Pretty attractive, 42, I look 10 years younger easily. Divorced six months ago and tried dating the normal way with women my age. Two kids but women don't seem to give a shit. I live in a smaller city (~100K) with not a lot of economic opportunity and do my best to hide my income/wealth. Dating women my age was a pointless shit show. Now I'm just kinda over dating in this town. I probably already have a dubious reputation due to dancing which I'm aiming to tank. Dating in Colombia snapped off my give a shit meter and ever since then women have been... different. I've never done plates but looking back over my dating history most of my girlfriends have been tolerant of me having a side chick. This town seems to assume that I'm sleeping with multiple women and is surprisingly encouraging of it. While married I had several women try to be my girlfriend. Anyways I just added it all together and realized that monogamy isn't really something expected of me and I don't really care for it either. So now I'm working on plates and I don't really care if the first girl I plate is amazing because I can always just upgrade.
Is the first priority to get my bed occupied? Or should I bother to have standards? I have two women interested that I'm not really all that into. One is 20 years older than me and married but a lot of fun. Honestly seems like more trouble than it's worth but she's practically crawling up my coat. The other is a girl ~22 who is cute but identifies as a trans man and it's just bizarre but you know kids these days. I'm thinking I should just skip both and get something decent to start with?
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1y ago
Look. Your two current prospects suck ass. Next.
Sorry for your divorce but at the same time have self respect. Your current leads are ass. Hit the field and plenty of 30-40 will still want to fuck.
If you get in shape, run good game, or target sluts (worst case) then you can get 18-29s too. But you're not pulling younger chicks unless you look good and have good game
It's rough becoming single again but you can't scrape prospects off the bottom of a gas station bathroom like you're doing, have some standards
enfier 1y ago
Sounds good. Pulling younger chicks doesn't seem to be an issue. I'll scrap the both of em. It's been like 3 weeks since I realized I needed to revamp my game and I've spent most of those 3 weeks out of town.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1y ago
It happens. Just stick to your gut. I've fucked bad prospects just because i didn't have anyone else at the moment before and.... It went how you'd expect
enfier 1y ago
I mean honestly I'm not even that worked up over it. The divorce is the best thing that's happened to me in a while. It's easier for me to pull younger girls than older. Quite frankly I've gotten cougar accusations from women younger than me and women my age don't take me seriously. I've just been trying to maintain a decent reputation in a smaller city. I've come to the realization that it's pointless and the sooner I have a bad reputation, the sooner girls will be beelining my way when they want to get laid.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1y ago
Lmao at the end of this analysis
Sounds like you got your head on straight i think you'll succeed
Lone_Ranger 3 1y ago
It sounds like you are slowly waking up, but you have still not figured it all out, plus you have a bit main character syndrome.
Two issues here -
Main character syndrome you seem to think that that the whole town knows you....they don't. Everyone thinks that they are more known than they are, because they view themselves as the star of a movie.
You also think that having a reputation as 'a player' is going to mean that women avoid you. Nothing could be further from the truth. Women are ONLY attracted to players. Women have been telling us this for decades, through their actions, but men are so plugged in that they refuse to believe it. The very meaning of 'alpha' is 'fucks all the females of the pack'.
You seem to be half accepting of this truth, but also half not accepting of it.
Again, main character syndrome. "The town" doesn't assume anything about you, because it doesn't know who you are.
You are surprised that the few women that do know you are encouraging of it? Then you only half understand what women are really like. The ultimate insult that women have for men is 'incel'. That is men that don't fuck women. Women are only attracted to men that fuck women - and its a straight line relatioship - the more women they fuck, the more women want those men.
And then to finish off, you ask us "should I have standards"
The only two leads you have a woman who is over 60 and a 'trans man'. Wt actual fuck.
enfier 1y ago
That's fair. I wanted to date differently but it's just not really possible. I was trying to be picky on the personality front for an LTR but I'm realizing most of these women aren't even worth dating at all. A lot of things are just recently clicking for me and it's taking a minute to realign. I also have been getting invited out to do things by girls in a different town so I haven't really seen much of anyone since Colombia fixed half of my dating mentality.
I'm worried that my lack of being laid is impacting my dating life. The two prospects I have are just whatever random chicks that have been after me in the past two weeks of not trying, at all. I've been previously dialing down the game significantly so that I don't get a bad rep, but in Colombia I just dialed it to 110% and had a great time even though my Spanish could be a lot better. There's really nothing stopping me from doing the same here other than my own fears over a bad reputation. The thing is... it just doesn't even matter.
OK so things are getting clearer... ignore the current girls, spend some time actually running game here at full bore, escalate if it's going well and get my bed occupied by someone worth banging.
ObliviousDuck 1y ago
If this were true, your two only prospects wouldn't be a 65 yo cougar and a trans.
Never ever go below 5s. Be especially aware that 4s become fuckable when you are drunk... DON'T EVER FUCK A 4. Once you bagged a couple 5s and built up your outcome independence, upgrade to 6 and higher and never look back.
Lone_Ranger 3 1y ago
ngl ...it is silly to tell a guy to 'never go below 5s'.
OP (and men in general) should fuck whomever they want. I've fucked plenty of plenty of 3s and 4s and a quite a few 10s and everything in between. I don't value myself by the women I fuck. I fuck whomever gets my dick hard and isn't much effort. I don't invest much effort in women, and I advise other men to do the same.
Fucking a 3 or 4 is like eating in McDonalds. We've all done it. Is it the best quality food in the world? No. But it was right there, it was cheap, it was easy. I am aware that homeless people like eating in McDonalds. But me having the occasional meal in McDonalds does not make me homeless. I'm still a millionaire even if I have a McDonalds once in a blue moon.
ObliviousDuck 1y ago
It's not about value and validation, it's about dignity and self respect. I believe there is a difference between only wanting to fuck 8s and up and not wanting to fuck 4s. The former is rooted in validation, the second on self-respect.
Maybe we don't have the same definition of what a 4 is. For me, 4 is not McDonald's, it's more like 2 weeks old Chinese left overs, it's tempting when you're starving and stoned but if you go for it, say goodbye to your dignity when you wake up.
I can't get my dick hard for a 4, because for me, by definition, a 4 is someone I wouldn't even be able to fuck unless I was desperate and shitfaced. But then, I was never desperate enough, so you might be right.
McDonald's is just average regular food that average regular people love. The stigma is mostly around its effect on health, not its cheapness or if its an esteem degrading act.
A better question would be: Are you still a millionaire if you dumpster dive? Technically, yes. Is dumpster diving something that you should avoid if you are trying to improve your self esteem? Once again, yes.
Lone_Ranger 3 1y ago
You seem to be hung up on semantics bro. You seem to think that fucking 4s is got to have something to do with 'self respect'.
Men don't need to value themselves by the bitches that they fuck. The King sometimes fucks the parlour maid. And the cooks daughter. And the Stable girl. We fuck all sorts of women, whenever we want to. We do not lose self respect. We know our own self worth, and it sure as hell is not defined by the women we choose to fuck along the way.
TBH, you sound like you have the thinking of a woman - women are hypergamous by nature because they have no intrinsic self worth - they can literally only value themselves by the caliber of man they can attract and hold onto. When I listen to a group of middle aged women talking amoungst themselves, they just brag about their husbands. Their husbands achievements, their wealthy, their importance. They never brag about their own achievements (because they don't have any).
Men value themselves by their achievements, and their status amongst other men, in particular, their peers (they do not care what women think, that is just mouth noises). When a scientist wins the top prize, he might go out to celebrate with his buddies, get some drinks... and bang a 4. he doesn't care. When a general wins an important battle or war - he does the same. he is not the value of the women he fucks.
You talking about 'self respect' in relation to the women you fuck tells me that you have still not set yourself free.
coolsocks00 1 1y ago
LOL
Id recommend avoiding the old hags and the crazies. Further, it’s nice to set the bar high enough to where they’re also nice to look at after the sexual high has passed, and wont annoy you to the point of having to rudely dismiss them the minute you’re done.
If you really have to bust a nut and dont have better options yet, just use your hand or fucking abstain bro.
whytehorse2021 1y ago
Older man game is different. You'll have to learn which chicks are into that and game them accordingly. Kids are a sign of pre-selection. Not sure if you're old enough to have gray hair but if you do you're stuck with old man game. Kevin Samuels is a great example of old man game. It's all about being a refined gentleman with fine taste. Get it right and you'll be pulling 10s.