Fwb asked if i was seeing other girls, i took it as a sign she wanted to be exclusive because thats exactly what it was. She looks sad and we finish having sex and i walk her out. A few days later i try to meet up again to find out she blocked me, most likely butthurt about me seeing another girl. I wanted to be with her, so i reached out a few days later to fix things. She ended up telling me "she cant be in a relationship for now" which is the classic rejection line. Im already a little frustrated because she brought it up first. I also understand i failed the comfort test too.
Well basically we kept talking a bit more and she said she still wants to see me, but for now she cant have a relationship. I tried to set something up and she flaked. I felt like I shouldve just ended things after she rejected me but I took the bait, mainly because of guilt that I had broken the situation and was trying to fix it, i felt like i had to do my due diligence/effort to fix it.
At this point its looking bleak. Ive decided i have no choice to walk away now. The thing is Im not sure if i should text her something like "I decided i dont want to see each other anymore, i wish you the best" or something to officially declare things are over. My last texts to her were last night asking for a confirmation (we usually do this anyways). Im going to be honest, i still think she wants to see me but she needs space now. She may also just feel weird rejecting me and seeing me 2 days later.
I felt that agreeing to meet her again after being rejected made me look weak/pathetic. I think itll be weird if my last texts to her were me trying to set up a date, and not some sort of finalizing departure text. What should I do? Just walk away or declare things are ending to gain some sort of power back?
She responds really well to me pulling back generally in our history together. And ive never been in a position where we didnt talk for more than a week. So i know my absence will be felt if we dont text for at least 1-2 weeks. My goal is to walk away for 2-3 weeks and try once more, before finally walking away for good. I also didnt do anything wrong technically, we werent exclusive, so maybe she can realize that im still the same guy she wanted to be with but got butthurt about some unspoken exclusiveness (this was her emotionally reactive mistake not mine). I have a 2nd chance policy with girls i really like, other ones its just 1 chance. Im giving her 2-3 weeks of space to see if we can reset and start over clean again before walking away for good.
Thoughts?
P.S. Im just pissed she gave me all the signs only to reject me. I made some mistakes including failing the final comfort test too even if technically i didnt do anything wrong, so not sure if i should give her a lil bit of space first. We would NOT be in this position today if she didnt ask if i was seeing other girls. Thats a make or break convo. It either advances or ends relationships, and usually asked by someone who wants to advance.
Lone_Ranger 1 1mo ago
why is that game noobies always want to make big declarations? Either that they will 'love you forever' or 'never want to see you again'.
That shit is for middle school. Be a man. Just ghost her.
Never apologise, never explain.
whytehorse2021 1mo ago
Sounds like you two have poor communication. Anyway, look at what women do, not what they say. She hard nexted you. It's over. Now she's just toying with you by scheduling dates and flaking.
Hondurak 1mo ago
I found out about a month ago she has a boyfriend. I think my it’s why she sometimes confirms last minute with me or will not confirm plans. She refuses to say “I have a boyfriend” she has no idea I know of this. I found it on her social medias
whytehorse2021 1mo ago
Well there you go. Move on to bigger and better women.
First-light 1mo ago
I would keep things as open as possible. If you say "I am going to leave you alone for 2 to 3 weeks" you are committed or you look very weak. Best to say "Ok, I didn't do anything wrong as we were not exclusive. I am willing to be exclusive since you you matter that much to me. Please think about it and let me know"
You can have a time limit in mind but you don't have to give it to her, then you can still say something if you want to show you have not forgotten her without looking needy.
ObliviousDuck 1mo ago
It's the 6th time you ask the same question about that same girl in the last 3 weeks, just to ignore what we tell you.
Fuck off already.
Diabs 1mo ago
Post after post on this oneitis of yours, she has not really shown much sign of respect for you or she likes you that much and now has outright told you. Just get rid of her bro.
Hondurak 1mo ago
Yeah bc I fucked up and dread gamed her unnecessarily and didnt tell her i loved her back and then i told her im seeing other girls. Retarded? Yes. But this isnt pure disinterest, its signs of a broken fwb that i failed many comfort tests with.
mattyanon Admin 1mo ago
PERFECT
Officially declare? Relationships are not contracts, people women act on how they feel. There is no "we're together therefore I won't cheat until I declare it's over", women just don't work that way.
Counterpoint: I think she was asking you about the situation, and I think you misinterpreted this as her trying to be exclusive with you. I don't think this is what she was saying at all. Or........ it's what she was asking for, but you saying you see other girls was a dealbreaker for her moving forward to exclusivity,, and then it all went wrong after that.
Look....... work out what you want, then work out the best way to get it.
But bear in mind that if that's exclusivity, there's no way to move in that direction in one step. "I've sworn off other women I am yours now" just looks weak and unattractive..... you'd want to get back to fucking her first.
If you're over it......... just say "Wish you the best", and that's ll.
If you want FWB, invite her round for coffee.
Hondurak 1mo ago
Mattyanon, does this situation call for a one-week soft next? I see your name all over soft next content on trp on google. Will it do more damage or help?
I wanna do 1 week because we usually dont talk for 2-3 days between hang outs, so generally that wouldnt be a soft next.
mattyanon Admin 1mo ago
softnext is to punish and withdraw
1 week is about right as you say.. BUT..... not sure that's right in this case.
not sure exactly what's right here.... you're dealing with mild bad behaviour and ego hurt. I'd say take it easy, don't try too hard, seduce her...... and most importantly.... FUCK OTHER WOMEN and care less
Hondurak 1mo ago
Yep its weird because she actually treats me with lots of respect and didnt disrespect me or yell at me or anything. The disrespect to me, in this case, is playing mind games and then basically rejecting me after leading me on, putting me in this position. Mind games is a different type of drama. Also, I did contribute to some of it, as you said, maybe i became a dealbreaker for seeing other girls. Theres a slight chance im punishing her for something i did have a part in breaking too.
I just had a thought today, that although im initiating the one week soft-next, isnt she also doing that to me? She technically left me on read. And is choosing to not text me back, as much as I am.
Hondurak 1mo ago
Basically I took it as im not boyfriend material and the relationship will never happen,. but I can enjoy this until it breaks (soon)
I meant, officially declare an end of terms, instead of ghosting.
This is the logical avenue I came down too as well. Shes looking for high RMV for a relationship, and I showed low RMV, so therefore she doesnt want a relationship, even though I may have high SMV, im just another fuckboy basically Even though it was in my rights, some girls still find men who are already exclusive even without talking, even if its a lie, its something they value for RMV.
Im going to see her casually for a bit, detach emotionally for the inevitable, and not push for relationship anymore. I did my part, and if she ever wants one, she has to do all the work. Ive internalized moving on any relationship visions with her and only seeing this as a casual thing.
She ended up rescheduling with me and not conifrming (technically not a flake) our date the other day. I think theres a bit of awkward rejection vibes still lingering around. Ima give her space and pull away to try to gain some upper hand back, so basically im going to soft-next her for a week or two (she responds well to me pulling back) and set up a date. Shes pulling back a bit, im pulling back too. Chasing her is going to put me in a bad hole. And plus a little time apart can maybe work in my favor. Especially considering she did technically fuck this up too. Hoepfuklly she gets clarity about how her weird behavior put me in this position. Its not supposed to progress this way.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1mo ago
Your crippling oneitis also did you in as well and is still doing it in for you.
Just like that one time with your former gf a year back or so? Dude. De ja vu.
Either learn RP or don't. You're coming into a rp forum and then doing blue pill rage behaviors. You clearly swallowed red pill on an empty stomach and need to relearn it. You're not even doing the RP parts right but then you're doing this bp stuff too
Hondurak 1mo ago
What should I do then? Just walk away?
Also idk what bluepill rage is. I never got jealous, lost my marbles, cried, showed weakness. Just did retarded dreading and failed comfort tests.
Was the proper response to be "Ok then, i wish you the best" the second she said she wasnt looking for a LTR? Instead of agreeing to be the side-guy.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1mo ago
You still haven't answered my question from your last post if you just skimmed all the manopshere books you read or seriously reflected on them.
I'm not here to answer your one singular post probablem/question, because you have the same underlying problem on just about every post. So I'd appreciate if you answered the question I'm asking you so that I can find out what your actual underlying problem leading you to consistently get RP wrong is
I don't know why post from to post you ignore questions. Your avoidance of answering is not only telling but just keeping you permanently stunted
Hondurak 1mo ago
Its because I was hardcore redpill when I learned about TRP since the reddit days. I also run naturally alpha. Thats why i ruined my last 2 relationships i posted here because being too alpha. Over time I learned that my values and personal dating goals are actually somewhere closer to purple pilled. I value relationships and want to be a family man one day. I dont want be a hardcore rp Chad like I was when I was 18-25.
I also dont mention all the times i ignore girls with rp tactics, or game them successfully. There is no help needed in those scenarios. I dont make posts about girls i cut off instantly for disrespect. If I posted about the time I cut off this one girl because she did X to me then people would say im badass and upvote me. I just dont care for that. Im here for the situations i need interpreted. I honeslty post about like 2-3 girls out of the dozens i have gamed recently. The other ones idgaf about.
Even more specifically ive noticed that the girls i post about are generally girls i cum inside raw. That shits dangerous for attachment. I get attached to girls i do this with, but who wouldnt? This one in my post isnt on birth control and i came in her last week. She to some extent, is ok with having my baby, so when people say theres no interest there, i know there is. Girls dont let any guy cum inside them without BC
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1mo ago
There is so much wrong with this response
Alpha = no. You're not alpha. Alphas don't give a shit about this stuff.
Too "alpha" to have a relationship function, maybe but you're not some alpha Chad nor were you. Chad doesn't do this
This is just fucking retarded. Singlehandedly one of the dumbest things you can do as a man. You're just rolling the dice for a cheap nut. You have no respect for your future
Also tingles. Who cares what tingles she has at yh height of sex, that's not reflective of her long term or day to day planning
Despite allegedly being "hard core Redpilled" you seriously seem to misunderstand loads of basic red pill concepts, tenants, and female psychologist, both in the practical and theorical arenas
Edit: typos