She brought up the topic, brought in feelings etc. I asked if shes seeing anyone else and she said no shes not. I ended up telling im seeing girls "sometimes" and she seemed sad. She then blocked me after and deleted my number as if she got mad im seeing others.I took this that she really liked me so i need to fix it fast and let her know I wanted a relationship too.
I had to contact her on another number to let her know i wanted to be exclusive with her (I felt that there was a small window to make my move) and she told me shes not ready for a relationship right now blah blah blah.
Im really disappointed. Why would she ask me that and reject me when i follow up? This has to be a .005% case right? I dont even know how to respond i just left her on read. Do I not respond and try again later or does she want me to fight her objections? Will she come back around? I cant tell if its a test or straight up rejection.
To me, it feels like rejection "im not that into you" type. Now Im the fool on the corner when she brought this all up.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1mo ago Stickied
Please tell us which of the following you have read:
Seriously dude. Please answer this for us so we can understand how you've gotten yourself this uninformed about RP
Hondurak 1mo ago
Ive read the whole sidebar, Book of Pook, Rational Male. Not sure what i did wrong here. I never brought it up. When a girl wants exclusivity you gotta nut up or shut up. Or the plate breaks. Thats what happened here.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1mo ago
Not the downvoter, but Did you skim these books? Did you barely digest what was in them? I'm not trying to shit on you, i am seriously trying to target your underlying problem on this forum over the past year +
Like you seriously just don't understand the material from one post to the next
I'm trying to withhold giving you actual advice until I have an idea of why this is so hard for you first
Genuinely trying to help you, you seem totally clueless a year deep
Hondurak 1mo ago
A man should never ask for exclusivity. In this instance thats what I did, but only because I told her I was seeing someone "sometimes" when she asked. She immediately blocked me after and deleted my number. She was clearly hurt.
Its clear I hit a crossroad: Go exclusive or its over (she blocked and deleted my contact). Should I have told her im not seeing others before? Yes, and its bad timing on my end. Thats the mistake.
So I liked her and wanted to go exclusive. I dont see the mistake in this post. Unless youre one of those hardcore RP's who never want to be in a LTR.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1mo ago
You made numerous mistakes leading up to this and in the final comfort test.
Still, answer the question I asked. Your understanding of RP and sexual and dating dynamics and how to handle them all is very shaky
Hondurak 1mo ago
Ok you are right about failing the final comfort test (are you seeing other girls)
Thats why I feel the need to be extra beta with her, it may have turned her off from me.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1mo ago
No.....
Answer my question though. How are we supposed to help you if we're not understanding why you're languishing
redhawkes 2 1mo ago
Yes, buy flowers, chocolate and write her a poetry. Make sure to tip your fedora at the end..
If that doesn't work, do this. Works every time.
No-Stress-Cat 1mo ago
Her: "Are you seeing anyone else?"
Me: That all depends on you.
You broke your plate. You still have others to spin until you can find a replacement, right? You're not going all oneitis on this chick, are you?
ObliviousDuck 1mo ago
But last time you said she was "totally only a plate trust me bro" and didn't give a shit. Are you saying you were just pretending and playing stupid fake alpha games? I'm shocked!
By the way, your post contains at least 20 instances of the word "she" and "her". If it was for me, you would get temp banned for that offense alone.
It looks like you have no frame at all. Dance monkey, dance!
EurasianChad 1 1mo ago
There is nothing to fix.
She will be back.
If not, you will not care.
You will move on to other women.
You will find other women who are down for your program.
You are the don. Make it real
Lionsmane8 1mo ago
She wants you to fight for it and she hasn't made up her mind 100% yet.
Women don't have a clear cut mind like ours and rarely know what they really want. Also hormones.
Give it a few days and then ask to talk about it.
Also do you really want an exclusive relationship with her or are you just being blackmaiked by her drama?
Get clear on that first. And after you contact her and she happens to act too difficult, just move on. No bitch is worth groveling for.
Hondurak 1mo ago
Yes its clear she likes me but maybe wasnt 100% ready to be asked for exclusivity so quick. When she asked if i was seeing others maybe i shouldve been more patient.
Yeah thats the thing. Im not sure what to respond. Should I just ignore that and continue trying to see her?
Yeah thats the thing. Im not sure what to respond. How do I "fight" for her in this instance. Does it mean keep telling her sweet things or what..?
Yup I wanted to date her since about 2 months ago. Ive been playing the long game of waiting for her to crack first (admit feelings or "what are we"), and she did, and i stuck. Then this happened. Thats where were at now.
Lionsmane8 1mo ago
You didn't do anything wrong. She's not ok in the head.
She is giving you a preview of what's she's going to be like in a relationship and how she'll deal with disagreements ongoing.
If you actually want an exclusive relationship with her, wait 2-3 days to a week.
Then text her or call her and set up a time to speak.
If she acts difficult, warn her that you won't try again.
If she acts too difficult, move on. If she is responsive, accomodating and behaved then have a discussion with her where you lay out each other's points and the terms of the relationship.
Seriously, treat it as business.
Hondurak 1mo ago
I asked her to talk already, she said she wanted to talk today. So we did, and I haven’t responded since because of her response (don’t know what to say and I was working)
Not sure if texting back 3-4 days later is the right move here. Right now she’s responsive accommodating and behaved. She just said she can’t be in a relationship now.
We’re literally laying out each others points and terms now, but there’s nothing to say after she turned it down.
First-light 1mo ago
It sounds like the initial discussion happened by text. This can sometimes be unavoidable but is best avoided for delicate topics as there is no way to tell the tone of a text and the conversation just can stop cold when one person decides to stop it. So I would try to actually talk to her face to face if possible over this and verbally rather than by text if not. But if you can get face to face and treat her kindly with warmth, you may get further.
This may be game play on her part (it could be exactly what a lot of guy do to press for sex -back the hell off because she has not put out and see if that gets her to put out as a last resort). It is more likely an emotional reaction -she is afraid to engage with you when she assumed you would be exclusive from the start -which is an assumption many have of both sexes.
Either way she has you in a bit of a corner now and you have to decide if you want her enough to chase her enough or look for other girls.
I think you need to know what her terms are -"what do you need to see from me to be ready for a relationship because you were earlier, its the same me?" She has the upper hand here because she is willing to withdraw. You don't have to agree to the terms but you may as well here them. They may involve a comfort test.
If she is not for negotiation or you don't like the terms say you will give her space and then you just check in or her from time to time. You don't have to close the door. You don't have to stop seeing other women but you can just check up on her in a kindly, non pushy, non sexualised way. She may come back and she may not but you leave the door open for the emotional reaction to cool and her to remember that actually she likes you a lot. For that to work you do have to be not pushy.
Hondurak 1mo ago
I dont think shes really interested because she just said "I cant be in a relationship" because XYZ (bullshit). I even pushed once more and she said it again, then said we can still continue to each other as we normally did in the past but "for now I cant be in a relationship"
My plan at this point is to see her a few more times and see if she brings up anything in person. At this point im silently retracting my relationship offer, shes going to have to give me a really good reason in person, but i dont think it will happen unfortunately. I can began detaching now and just enjoy the sex.
The only silver lining here is she said she will still see me, so maybe she needs time.
Intrepid_Place53900 1mo ago
I'm old take it as you will.
however, when I was young or now that I'm old , I haven't changed how I view things.
If i'm with a girl having fun, FWB, plate or whatever. If she brings up the "talk", and wants to bring it to the next level.
It's two things.
1) Her interest level in me. Does she make me work for anything? 2) Does she make my life easier, add to it?
Seriously guys, it's that simple
Hondurak 1mo ago
Thats exactly what happened. It was strictly sex and good vibes for me. Over time came the "I miss you" then the "I love you" then the "Have you been with other girls?" then the block and delete my number when i told her i did. Basically when she saw i was seeing another girl she indirectly said she doesnt want to see me casually anymore. Throughout our time together she treated me well
So I did wanna go exclusive with her, its clear our casual relationship was over. Then she hits me with this curveball.
Intrepid_Place53900 1mo ago
you were in a sexual relationship with her.
she wanted more, you did also, but she wanted to know if you were also seeing other girls at this time.
You were and had/have every right to.
don't feel bad about this. She wants attention. She's butthurt about you seeing other girls.
she wants you to beg for her to come back. IMO, let her go and wait for her to beg you to come back. Let her know you were put off by her attitude, she's gonna have to earn your trust back. Then you F her like there's no tomorow. She'll love it.
Hondurak 1mo ago
I was getting ready to end things after the rejection but we were talking last night and she said "we can still see each other but for now im not looking for a relationship" .. So this morning we talked a bit and well see each other tomorrow night. I guess were back on, but its not a relationship or anything.
Its funny how now she wants to see me again, after she knows i have made my feelings clear to her. But before this, blocked and deleted because other girls lmfao. So yeah, its clear that theres something here based off that alone, the logic does not lie here. Im going to play it cool (while also detaching emotionally) in the meantime and see if she redeems herself over the next few weeks.
Any advice? Im seeing her tomorrow. Im not going to press her about the relationship talk or blame her, just act like nothing happened. I may just tease her for blocking me, to break the ice (i contacted her on my second number)
Intrepid_Place53900 1mo ago
what are you guys on SMV level, you and her, that would tell a lot
I'd ignore the whole thing happened
I wouldn't be surprised if sex is off the table for your get together, that would tell a lot. If she goes that route, sex is not an option for you, if there's no sex, there's nothing. This would be her trying to take control. She'll probably flake on you, but who cares , let her walk.
If she's open for sex, F her like there's no tomorrow. You know DEVI method? use it, be passionate. Love her body and soul, lust for her That's gonna make her sub to you.
Look at the end of the day
She should be making things easy for you, if she wants you. And thinks you are best she can get.
She should add value to your life, if not, then why? right?
Hondurak 1mo ago
So theres a major red flag i havent stated... she has told me shes not seeing anyone. Shes always told me this since we met. The truth is we added each other on social media a month ago. I ended up finding her Tiktok and watched it out of pure curiosity. I eventually found a guy commenting on her page and it was her boyfriend. He posted couple photos with her. Shes cheating on him with me. Shes hiding him from me, and it may be the real reason she doesnt want to agree to my commitment (for now).
Red flag? YES. But ive always seen it as a girl is never single, so we are constantly taking someones gf or someones always taking yours. Also let me say, we are only FWB. I dont care if she is seeing someone else, its expected . I just didnt think she had a full blown bf. She does nnot want to tell me "Im in a relationship with someone else" apparently.
Its basically the only logical reasoning i have for this situation. That she wants to branch swing, and needs some time. She just wanted to make sure im a secure branch. Now she knows, but maybe im just on hopium. (lol)
Im going to enjoy this for what it is for now, but keeping an eye on if she starts monkey branching over to me soon.
Intrepid_Place53900 1mo ago
Well, she should NEVER be considered for a LTR or commitment then
she's a FWB/FB at best
treat her like the slut that she is