I'm in my low to mid 20s and about to graduate university. I'm about to travel after graduating and have a full time job I'm going to start making around 120k CAD. I plan on renting a condo in Toronto alone or with one roommate (friend of 10 years). I'm tall, around 180lbs and go to the gym 3-4 times a week. I'd say I have a good physique but a bit on the bulked side and I'm south asian. I would say my game has been improving and I can get 1-2 lays every few months but sometimes go on dry streaks. I think my looks have improved but my game and social skills don't match it yet (I still talk a bit too fast and not talking with the diaphragm, and I sometimes struggle to make the conversation man to woman so it's in a platonic vibe, but I always try to close on dates by going for the makeout and escalating).
Does anyone have any thoughts about this plan after graduating and what tips are there for living alone and starting new social circles in a new city? It won't be as easy as making friends in university I've heard. I'm planning on spending around $2000 on rent and the rest on savings while having some for going out.
Lone_Ranger 1 1mo ago
Good idea to get room mates and share accommodation. Many people make the mistake of under estimating the effects of relocation added with loneliness in an new city. People seem to forget how most friends are made - they are friends of friends. People introduce you to other people That's how networks are built.
If I were you, I would focus your effort on networks and career. Then on things like your health, your enjoyment, continued education etc etc. Women should be a distant 8th priority.
I'm just giving you my 2 cents, having made plenty of mistakes (I'm 53).
It's easy to get FOMO living in a city - you think that if you're not out there smashing 4 new chicks a week, you're somehow not living your best life. It's a fools game.
If I were starting out now, at your age, my motto would be 'never turn down a shag, but never cross the street for a shag'
mattyanon Admin 1mo ago
great plan
easy with money. find somewhere that you enjoy, ,close to any bar. the ideal is to bring girls close to you, then "just get my coat".
this takes time but isn't hard. go out lots, do lots of stuff, escalate friendships and invite people out. see my blog here on making new friends.
It's not that hard either
Right.
You got this.
AbusiveFather1 1mo ago
I think definitely go for the roommate option; if you find more than 1 person you're comfortable living with - even better. Rent is where they get you. Try to balance your happiness with frugality; aim to get out of the rat race as soon as possible whilst being able to afford a comfortable life. Work on yourself but also don't try too hard to be this artificial alpha person - that kills your soul. Keep in touch with your family - they're the most important thing in the world.
P.S. One good friend is all you need - focus on that relationship.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1mo ago
I'll come back to the finding social groups stuff and roommate but check this out for now I've covered it before
In-Depth, Fundamental Conversation Skills Guide
For the man to woman stuff check out Todd V(his content is pretty good at breaking it down without guys resorting to sounding needy or too invested)
I don't know if this video specifically talks about man to woman but this is one of the good 10 min vids he has:
https://youtu.be/86BsveW5ZjU?feature=shared
universitythrowaway 1mo ago
Thanks for this, I'm going to check it out. Also I read your unconventional method under one of the Tinder guide posts and it was super helpful. In Tinder you match first, but would you do the same method on Hinge where you have to send a message upfront before matching?
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1mo ago
No problem! Glad it was of use I plan on writing a part 2 soon with more advanced conversational skills
That tinder strat also worked on bumble. I've used it on hinge, but not in the comments. Usually i just like their photos but a solid sentence on their prompt or photo does well
I haven't tried the full rich 2-3 sentences on a prompt/photo. My perception was that it would come across as way too invested since they haven't decided to match me yet, versus doing that on someone who already like me
I can try it and report back
universitythrowaway 1mo ago
Does liking their photos normally work for you on hinge? I do decent on OLD and for hinge I normally send a sentence about their prompt or photo and that seems to be fine.
Maybe a mix of both where you send a sentence to match initially then respond with a rich opener after matching would work.
Typo-MAGAshiv 1 1mo ago
... because he stole most of it from Roissy/ Heartiste!
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1mo ago
We've had this thread exchange a ton haha
It's good for video format, even if he stole it
Typo-MAGAshiv 1 1mo ago
I know, and I will always give props to the original over the grifter who ripped him off
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1mo ago
Yep feel free haha
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1mo ago
Test
Typo-MAGAshiv 1 1mo ago
....icles
Intrepid_Place53900 1mo ago
Toronto is a very expensive city, that salary won't go far, it's the New york of Canada basically, I"m sure you know already.
Lots of pretty girls, lot's of good looking tall,thin , guys with money playing them.
Very very Blue politically also, if that matters to you. I say that because most people you will interact with , will be in your face with the Blue . You'll have to deal with it.
Not sure how you are gonna actually save money in that town.
joyboy 1mo ago
It's basically New India now. My buddy who lives there can't remember the last time he saw an attractive white girl in public.
universitythrowaway 1mo ago
I think it's around top 5% in terms of salary. The 90th percentile in Toronto is 100,000 for ages 25-34 according to the Canada website. I'm planning on saving a few thousand a month and the rest is on rent and other needs along with going out.
Intrepid_Place53900 1mo ago
it's a decent salary, but not if you actually live in Toronto. Most of the people I know who work in Toronto, don't live in Toronto, they live 1+ hour away.
Average Cost of Living per Month in Toronto The average cost of living in Toronto is $4,254/month for a single person who rents.This average is based on many factors including the cost of housing, transportation, groceries, and entertainment.
This is after taxes.
[deleted]