For instance I think about approaching a woman all the time out on the street.
Thing is I don't know how to approach after reading a lot of material
I read that walking up and saying something like "Hey how's it going?" Is too boring of a conversation starter and doesn't peak any interest.
And if I land a date I fear what I'll even talk about that is engaging at all
Basically, I can't really fathom how people how successful conversations with women once they approach
All I can think is "Hey how's it going" to start and then I blank on the next step. Stand there and give her eye brow raises is what I imagine I'd do
Any recommendations for learning about this?
Problematic_Browser 1 1y ago
YOU PRETTY ME WANT PUT PENIS IN YOUR GIRL PARTS
works for me, usually.
coolsocks00 1 1y ago
You're just being a pussy, rationalizing why you wont approach. Just approach. Say hi. Ask if she's having a good day. Tell her something about yours. Be confident and relax. Get over your insecurity.
Read game material. The game section of the sidebar. Search the subreddit and sort by top posts, read the game related stuff. Read the older stuff on the Heartiste blog or the book Heartiste on Game. Read The Mystery Method, Bang, DayBang, Models; just pick your poison and stop being lazy about it.
ObliviousDuck 1y ago
You think you can learn to play an instrument, a sport, or to paint by reading books?
Any activity that requires skills needs to be practiced, socialising included. Go out there and talk to people, any people about anything.
You pretend to have read a lot but strangely enough, the importance of practical experience is emphasised several time throughout the sidebar and every single PUA books out there, so I suspect you are not telling the whole truth here.
DragonNuts 1y ago
I read primarily inner game and red pill theory. Not much PUA. I know plenty of the fundamentals but not the best in action - as you said I don't take action as often as I should. It's easier to talk to women in context (events, work, etc) just not at random.
I want to learn from action but I fear doing it a lot will beat me down, and I may not learn what works and doesn't simply by failing.
AbusiveFather1 1y ago
It will beat you down - just like getting good at anything will, because of the innumerable times you’d fail before you start getting better.
You have to be willing to fail, look like an idiot, get (temporarily) discouraged - if you want to get better.
So if you can only think of “Hey, what’s up?”, then use that for now; later on you’ll think of something better. Personally, I don’t see how saying “Hello” is a bad option if a girl likes you, and she has to like you for it to go anywhere with her. Like they say, you can’t negotiate attraction: you can’t (realistically) figure out the password to her good graces, especially on the fly - you’re not Mel Gibson from “What Women Want”.
[deleted] 1y ago
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EurasianChad 1 1y ago
Make observations and comment on random things in a curious way. Then make jokes about them.
Good observations are things about the girl. Something that stands out about her. Could be her nails, hair, etc.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1y ago
Here, read this
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1y ago
For the downvoter go read all 200 pages of daybang then
Permacultist 1y ago
Don't worry bout what yo say, it's how you look into their eyes that matters.
DragonNuts 1y ago
I agree given that in some situations I will approach (event, job) and give the flirty eyes and the conversation hits well, but there were things to talk about. When there's things to talk about I can hit flirty Covert communication notes and keep things playful, and they'll happily reciprocate. I'll even catch women staring at me until I look at them and they look away.
But when Im just by myself going out to hit the streets, going to the store/bar/etc I never have that happen.
First-light 1 1y ago
I am not one for trying to approach women cold. I personally think there is a better return of results to effort from chatting up women that you already know might actually be worth your efforts (not random slags who talk to random guys).
However, I think there is great benefit in practising talking to women. By doing so, you might actually meet one that was worth the effort and then you could escalate to trying to chat her up. More than that, you also just get a lot easier with the whole thing, then you are ready when it counts.
Honestly, to me talking to women feels like shooting. The harder you try, the harder it gets. You just have to be practised and relaxed and then it comes. Shooting a deer sized target would be ridiculously easy when you are down the range. It can however be very hard if you fear to move lest it run, if you think it will vanish behind cover any second, if the wind is blowing hard from one side, if the sun is in your eyes, if undergrowth obscures it, if the light is poor, if the ground under your feet falls away unevenly.... but most of all if it has huge antlers and you really really want that deer! Now talking to women is about the same. If she is smoking hot and she just smiled at you over her shoulder, your mind just turns to jelly. You just got buck fever for a two legged deer!
So practise the drill of shooting, practise the drill of talking to women. For example, talk to older women you would never bang when you pass them in the street. This takes the heat right off. Choose a checkout with an attractive woman behind it when you next go to the shop. You could eve have a prepared thing to mention to her, try and compliment her in a non thirsty way on her outfit. Its all "trigger time". Try to say something to women when you chance to meet them. Just make it normal conversation and challenge yourself to talk to a pretty girl but not chat her up, just ask her something and thank her. Try to make her smile. We never learn to do something hard well if we do it under pressure. Make it easy, make it small steps.
When its actually for real, remember that if she likes you, the most important thing is to say something positive and smile. If she likes you she doesn't care what you say as much as that you say something to her that tells her you like her. The actual content of the conversation really matters very very little, its the fact that you are happy, confident and encouraging to her. If you doubt this listen in when you next hear a real Chad in action. He doesn't usually say anything "smooth", just says things smoothly.
I remember one curious experience I had once when I just tried to make a woman feel welcome and appreciated but not to chat her up at all -she was a french opera singer who had run out of petrol on a sunday in a tiny mountain village populated only by climbers and sheep shaggers. She appeared at dinner in this spartan ghite dressed all smartly like she was in Paris and everyone ignored her. She was out of their league. I just talked to her in my best schoolboy french about the opera (about which i knew nothing, so I just asked). I just felt sorry for her being so far from home so I was relaxed and confident. One thing I remember was that since my French was far from ideal, I tried really hard with positive body language. 2 hours later she appeared uninvited and naked in my bed. I hadn't even showered for two physically challenging days. Definitely a posh slut, definitely not a keeper but a good deal more than I was expecting that night when I just tried to be nice.
You never know when a deer will appear, just get the trigger time in.