So Ive started with the redpill around 5 years ago and of course I fell for one of the first girls Ive gotten involved with. She was boderline, slutty and exactly my type. Weak that I am I couldn't contain myself and went for it. This was 3 years ago, went way too long, is over now but im still struggeling.
Ive managed to get a fully remote job that pays well and I moved to a region where everything is a bit easier with the plan to move even further to neighboring countries. Ive just a suitcase with me, thats it. In my rational mind this is a great oppotunity. And I have to say I am a bit more motivated than I was but that just means I over eat less and do a workout once in a while. I just dont see the reason anymore, I could just overeat, code all day and see escorts, I dont see why not. Its like Ive gone full blackpill without wanting to.
I mean, I see girls in the street and it pains me a bit that Im in such a bad place that I couldn't handle it. The thought alone that there could be any uncertainty, disappointment or whatever is already stressing. The fact that its always a burden and that I have to perfom is stressing me too. Yeah and its stressing because I dont see the upsides anymore. When I started with the red pill and tried, it went absolutely okay in the beginning, but I could've done without too, in a slightly worse mood but nothing I couldn't handle.
Okay its actually worrying me that I look at women and all I see is upcoming disappointment, stress, uncertainty and whatever there be...I dont even want to ask what to do at this point. Because the take action thing, like making a plan, execute it, get to a goal is just...me and my fucking mind at a different place.
[deleted] 1y ago
[--removed--]
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1y ago
You have a bad attitude. Fix it.
It will attract the kind of broken whores you're complaining about
coolsocks00 1 1y ago
You’re a pussy and feel bad about it. Saying you could just overeat and see prossies is like a drug addict saying he could just OD right now, fuck it.
Solution is to gradually improve. Incremental change will lead you out of betadom towards a state where you can feel like a man again.
You may have set yourself up nicely with a remote coding job, but let me tell you, this kind of lifestyle is the absolute worst for someone with little discipline and no goals.
You gotta set some goals. Consume positive, healthy content in the form of books instead of on PC, and get off your ass.
Find solid hobbies and lift. Stick to it. Welcome to manhood.
noidea 1y ago
The pussy part is true, yesterday after I sent the text I realized that the thing im actually worried about is not the stress but that I will not perform and that this will again lead to failure.
Today when I got up I realized that the problem my lay a little deeper and just "doing what I did before it went south" may not be in the cards. The incremental improvments are the only way and something I fairly sure I can do.
I also agree on the remote job being a kind of a bad thing. When I started this job for a year I did the absolute worst regarding spending my days. Lots of time in bed will laptop on my lap. You have to be self-discilined to a fairly high degree to not hang around all day, something I lack tbh.
I need to find a way to not fall in this hole again tho...it happened before, just not to the degree like it is now.
coolsocks00 1 1y ago
I think acceptance is key in order to actually get started in a way that's sustainable. You've been figuring out some of your obvious weaknesses and some of the pitfalls you tend to fall into. Now, the same way you cant go up and deadlift a barbell with 600 lbs on it at day 1, you cant expect to stop acting like a pussy at day 1 of realising you are one.
You just have to change up some of your existing habits and develop new ones. Tiny changes every day and expect setbacks. Im sure most of us here have some parts of ourselves we're working to improve or change at all times, so you're not alone. Be in it for the long haul man.