Told OP he could post in askTRP hence double post

A lot of good stuff has been said here from a lot of different angles. I would add -keep Briffault's law in mind. Enough benefit has to go to her or she bails. Women always want more benefit not less. They know that where they win is in LTRs, so unless they are already sorted for an LTR or LTRs, normal women will want to escalate things this way.

You can put on your best performance and keep spinning her wheels but at some point the hamster wheel will actually come up with the actual truth "I am worth more than this" ("My SMV could snag someone of equal value to this guy to do all this and a lot more for me in a Beta capacity, which would make me feel a lot more secure")

Briffault's law is like gravity. You can beat it but only for a short while by expending energy. You tend to expend more and more energy as time goes by. Early on you succeeded in being judged to be high enough value to be offered free sex but its really an inducement to buy into being her Beta. Later you can still get the sex but you will end up doing beta stuff for her like taking her out for the evening, fixing her washing machine and being called up about small worries. You still have to be that great high value guy who spins her wheels and makes her feel great. To do this while also being absent a lot you will still end up paying one way or anther.

The best solution is to look for women to whom you will continue to offer long term benefit as a FB because that is what they actually want. These are harder to find because they are the exceptions for whom a LTR would not pay. Since most guys would like a FB or two or more, the types who are happy with the arrangement are usually trashier and are likely to be doing this sort of thing regularly with other guys. You will probably be basically joining a beta collective who all do some stuff for her and overall its enough and she just loves being wanted by them all. A well married lonely women might see long term benefit but you would need to work to become really trusted and to also fill the blanks for her -whatever they may be. This would be the happiest solution probably. A damaged and divorced woman who trusts no man but still likes to bang could work too but then you have a lot of baggage to contend with. A mentally unstable woman who undervalues herself and seizes on your crumbs of affection could work -but just don't as you risk being called controlling. In the end LT FB is against the trend of gravity and so pickings are lean and work is hard.

then I get ultimatum that we should either date and go towards relationship or split

There are three reasons this will happen:

1. Not attractive enough for no-strings-attached sex

2. Sex not good enough for NSA sex.

3. You engaged in provider behaviour and she feels that this ultimatum is one she will win.

Telling very early that I am not looking for relationship - They get mad and fuck off.

See above.

No contact for a week after sex - They get mad and fuck off.

Always best to follow up with reassuring "this wasn't a one night stand" after sex...... WITHOUT commitment...... eg.... "Had a great time with you last night, hope to see you again" (but without immediately rescheduling).

Nudge toward sex very early and keep nudging - They tell they are not that type of girl, they make me wait and wait so I just fuck off once we have sex.

See first three points.

Cudle after sex and show appreciation for her - that just speeds up the "talk".

This is showing too much beta behaviour.

Kiss and go home after sex - that also just speeds up the "talk".

Well the good news is that you're getting lots of sex and opportunities, so with a bit of adjustment this could work. I think you are looking for FWB (which is awesome, highly recommended), and you can clearly get girls, so you're almost there.

You need to negotiate with girls what you are looking for BEFORE sex. Tell them exactly what you want. "So, before things go any further between us, I want to tell you where I'm coming from. Firstly.... I like you. Secondly..... I don't do exclusive relationships. Serious maybe... caring.... sexual..... fun.... good times...... travel...... I like all that, but I can't offer you exclusivity. This lifestyle isn't for everyone, I hope we can continue to see each other, but I understand if not."

After that you stop talking, let her talk. 50% will say "not for me". 50% will say "not for me, I don't do that, I only do sex in full time committed relationships, buttttttttt.... I do really like you..... soooo...... well, we can continue seeing each other".

I don't know if I give away the LTR vibe

you do

if I show too much or too little affection,

too much without clarification

if I go too deep in conversations or something else entirely.

I'm not you and I'm not the girl, but well..... this is fairly standard stuff and fairly easy to negotiate. You're close if girls will fuck you first and have the talk later.

If I think I've shown too much affection and we are going toward texting more often I try to ease up on the contact,

It's also important not to have continual recurring dates lined up. She must be fearful she's lost you.

Keep in mind I am 35 and girls I date are in 25 - 35 range.

Perfect

I don't use apps, only approaching.

Perfect

I worked fucking hard on myself for the last 15 years and I am finally at the point in my life when I can pull some girls, so it is a pretty annoying situation for me.

You are 99% of the way to the FWB rotation of your dreams.

have you considered that this is the life of a Chad? that (most) women don't really want to stick around after they've fucked him, knowing that he'll never commit? they throw a hail-mary, get shot down, and move on to the next man.

Maybe because you are older, they expect a relationship? Otherwise they would be Tindering/Partying with their 20 y boys.

Idk, but can you elaborate "I worked fucking hard on myself for the last 15 years and I am finally at the point in my life when I can pull some girls"?