I get annoyed/frustrated whenever people bump into me wherever there is clearly space not to do so(and it happens often). And whether there is space or not, people never fucking apologize when they have clearly bumped into me. Never.
It’s almost always women who do so. Whether they bump into me with their grocery bags, backpacks, umbrellas, arms or shoulders.
Surprisingly , it’s the men that are more aware and considerate when it comes to this. They put their arms behind their backs so not to bump. They move their grocery bags to the front while walking.
Just today I was walking, and this woman with her dog was walking opposite me. I thought the dog was the one who was going to annoy me as he was coming towards me, but no, the woman was the one who proceeded to literally diverge her path to walk in my direction and almost shoulder check me. There was plenty of space for her to not even come within arms reach.
This shit has been happening to me for years and the way I deal with it most of the time(especially when I see it coming) is that if they seem like they are going to bump into me, I always keep my elbow just about to the side, so as to avoid them bumping into me. Sometimes we don’t touch, sometimes they do bump into me, but they bump into my elbow/arm. If they bump into my ready elbow, I get way less annoyed about it. But I don’t walk with my elbow ready for impact all the time. I try to be as relaxed as possible throughout my day.
Same also goes for when standing in line or in closed spaces. Women tend to stand uncomfortably close to the side(basically bodying me with their arms or bag or whatever item) or behind me.
I have even had an instance where an angry feminist looking girl literally man-spread next to me on public transport and the driver didn’t bat an eyelid. Also, a few weeks ago, this dumb bitch pressed with all her might elbow on my hand (I was grabbing the seat’s arm rest for balance as the bus was unstable) as she was taking a seat and acted like nothing happened.
Obviously, I can’t control peoples actions. I can only control my reactions and somewhat people’s perception.
How to deal with this?
I have asked someone who is somewhat of a family friend(respected guy in his circle)about the transport instances I mentioned and he didn’t have any idea what to tell me.
Any actionable advice and/or perspective would be appreciated.
pofkaf 1 2y ago
In my experience, women purposefully make contact with men they find attractive. Perhaps your SMV is high and women want to get your attention. Act accordingly - if they're cute, sounds like a good opportunity to open.
If you were low-value, women would avoid you like the plague.
EurasianChad 1 2y ago
Women are more spatially aware than men as they're more vulnerable to physical violence.
They will purposely make contact with you if you're a Chad and they're feeling brave.
Lone_Ranger 3 2y ago
"Women are more spatially aware than men..."
This is comedy gold.
Typo-MAGAshiv Endorsed Contributor 2y ago
LMFAO!
have you never watched a woman try to parallel park?
Did you never play dodgeball in elementary school?
Their spatial awareness and spatial reasoning are fucking terrible.
Lone_Ranger 3 2y ago
You know that kind of scrape that you you seem on some cars that starts at the front wing, goes past both doors and also involves the rear wing? You can tell straight away its not from a crash, its from a parking incident and a wall / post / bollard.
Yeah, you've seen it many times before. It's so expensive to fix, because its 2 doors plus front and rear wing. Lots of people seem to get the quote from the bodyshop, are so shocked at the cost that they just leave it and drive around with it.
My best friend and I call that kind of car damage 'The Wedding Ring' because whenever we see a guy driving around with that kind of damage on his car, you know its not him who did that, we know that he is married, and we know exactly who did it.
EurasianChad 1 2y ago
Good point for those specific examples.
I mentioned they were more aware of their bodies in space because they're more self conscious & wary of physical danger. Generalized too hard there, good on you boys for pointing that out
Hamza99 2y ago
Depends on circumstances.
Women unapologetically bump into me during the day, but would would keep a safe distance if it's 10 PM.
They are unaware and oblivious during the day(unless you seem like you are going to approach them or drunk), but super paranoid at night.
Hamza99 2y ago
I knew this answer would come. I know where you’re coming from but it’s not that.
I have done cold approach lately, with literally zero success. So you pretty much have an idea of my SMV.
These things also happened to me when I had an even lower SMV.
Why would a girl man-spread or violate me in any way to show attraction? How is it a sign of attraction to bump into my knees with an umbrella which would injure me?
Alee-Zee 2y ago
maybe your weak point occurs once you start to speak, that would improve after 500 approaches
not really
you should be in charge, otherwise at some point you might complain that women never touch you pipi first
Read sidebar, you have plenty to learn
Hamza99 2y ago
I brought up cold approach to show that it’s NOT women doing that out of attraction.
This post is not about cold approach.
It’s about women blatantly violating me and being unapologetic about it.
Alee-Zee 2y ago
I'm not saying what it is or what it isn't.
ON the base of provided information, cat in this bag is either dead or not.
All you can do is to read sidebar. If you won't people will start to assume you might be a troll.
Hamza99 2y ago
I think by cat in the bag you mean you are not sure whether women are acting towards me in the ways I mentioned out of attraction or not. Assume I'm am just regular SMV, nothing special, I even have my beard a bit unkept and need to trim it because it isn't full.(Which is still irrelevant to the problem I explained)
How will reading the sidebar help with instances were women have no regard for me when shoulder checking me or bumping their heavy ass grocery bags into me on the sidewalk or pressing with their whole weight on my hand so I can lift it off her precious bus seat arm rest?
[deleted] 2y ago
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Hamza99 2y ago
It’s not only American women who are entitled.
Most women have it ingrained in them to even disrespect men(especially strangers) as a way of self- empowerment and fighting against the “patriarchy”.
mattyanon Admin 2y ago
Ok, I can relate to this.
People are fucking dumb, but I do have some suggestions for you that might help.
Tell her "please move your hand", loudly, then physically move her arm out of the way. This should demonstrate you're serious.
As regards people walking towards you and hitting you:
People expect that they'll move half the necessary distance out of the way at the last second, and they expect that you'll do the same. They do this EVEN IF THEY ALREADY TAKE UP MOST OF THE SPACE.
Not sure if this is subconcsious or if they literally think that humans take up no space ..... any which way, they only resolve this at the last second when about to collide and they expect you to help, even if they already take up most space. It's fucking dumb.
But you can hack their algorithm.
Instead of getting out of their way or working out the best halfway spot that resolves the situation, you aim to take up 75% of the available space. You take up more than your fair share. You force them to take a much smaller space, and give yourself most of the room. So in walking towards them, you're aiming for most of the sidewalk width. Walk towards them directly if necessary. Usually, subconciously, they try to move out of your way, giving themselves even less room. Then, at the last second, you move back into your large expanse of available space without colliding.
The problem with giving them enough room is that they'll take it and move into your passing space. By doing the opposite you create enough room for you.
If they refuse to comply, you can just walk directly up to them and stop until they walk around you or move to the side. Being on autopilot this usually startles the fuck out of them and they move.
Don't take it personally: people are dumb as fuck and moving through the world on auto pilot.
Lone_Ranger 3 2y ago
bruh, are you strapped when you go out? If bitchez be disrespectin' yo space, you need to yank out da glock and turn dem bodies cold man, fo shizzle. bam bam bam bam bam.... dats how you get mo respeck. Word.
Typo-MAGAshiv Endorsed Contributor 2y ago
Hahahahaa
Typo-MAGAshiv Endorsed Contributor 2y ago
You need to learn assertiveness.
Read both of these books: "No More Mr. NiceGuy" and "When I Say No I Feel Guilty".
Hamza99 2y ago
I agree. I need to be way more assertive. But how do you become assertive when a woman bumps her umbrella into you in passing and keeps on walking?
dongking 2y ago
Are you a tiny man? Short? Lightweight?
Then you're more prone to physical disrespect by both men and women.
Bulk up. Work on your frame.
redhawkes 2 2y ago
This is the answer. OP sounds like a pencil neck mangina. If you're tiny as a man, you're magnet to shit like that.
I was skinny back in the days, after more than 7 years of hard lifting, shit changes 180. When you walk down the road, people move to accommodate you, try and bump and get your shoulder dislocated. Accidentally bump into bitches in bus, they apologize to you lmao.
It's like the bigger you get, the more respect you get. Add assertiveness and masculine posture and you're golden.
Hamza99 2y ago
Ok, big boy.
Does being thin automatically make you soft?
How was your experience 8 years ago before you started lifting with the shit i mentioned ?
redhawkes 2 2y ago
You'll notice people respect you more, some are even intimidated. Big part is FRAME and how you behave.
In other words, you don't need to touch the red stove to know it's hot.
What's your stats? You didn't mentioned that for a reason. Getting bigger is the fix 100%.
Hamza99 2y ago
In what ways did people use to disrespect you?
I get being physically bigger makes people respect you when there is some kind of interaction, what about people in passing, women in particular?
I sometimes feel it's also psychological, as sometimes, I am in a solid mood, and walk with so much confidence, some men step aside to accommodate for me, even some women do too, but that's very rare.
It doesn't have much to do with my posture or walking speed.
Anbessa 2y ago
Can you tell us your “real” height and weight?
Anbessa 2y ago
Anyway, can someone help me? How do i fucking post something on forums.red? This site is confusing af
Vermillion-Rx Admin 2y ago
You have to click a black and white window. Yes we know it's confusing (i can relate)
askTRP
MrSupreme 2y ago
This is so redpill