So i got enough in shape to receive unasked comments about it - therefore i see i'm in a good path in this regard. But my way of talk, look and walk (mind and manners) didn't change with my body I shaved my head, got some tattoos and a nice full beard, that along with my body makes me look masculine. But when the ''flirting'' starts it's easy to see any lust fading away in the girls eyes. To be honest i had situations of seeing even repect going away. Meanwhile friends that are uglier, shorter (i'm 6ft) and weaker who are never out of pussy. Some of then are more "lase-eyes" and other more "clown style". Some of then even have zero morals. . So, given the body part is going in the right path, how to develop the INNER/attitude atractivennes?
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Vermillion-Rx Admin 2y ago
Sounds like your problem is mostly number 2. How are your social skills
Electrical_Tackle 2y ago
I'm sure it's not good, but idk how to fix it because it requires "focus during talking" sort of speak, to "train" that. I get by with the easy-going topics like push-pull, passing shit tests trough amplificationing and absurding. But it's bland, i do know there is a lack of spine/core that girls sense after a while. Actually i have been told by a coworker that i have a fluid personality, he said if i'm in a group of criminals, i would be a good one, if i'm a group of cops, i would be a good one too, in a manner of "you go with the flow and have no weight".
I know that, and girls sense these fluctuations and walk away. So i can go alright in first interactions but with time all goes to shit.
mattyanon Admin 2y ago
To be fair he's pretty much saying he's got terrible social skills.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 2y ago
It's obvious but I'm trying to get OP to realize
mattyanon Admin 2y ago
Ok.
Good work on the body shape, but you've probably got more you can do here, and it will help.
Right.
Girls will shit test and then judge your attractiveness based on your response.
And if you flirt terribly.... again.... you can lose attractiveness quickly in her eyes.
Some basic tips:
Don't give a fuck. Don't laugh things off, just don't react to anything bad. Ignore it and carry on. All shit tests can be passed with nothing more than ignoring that shit. Failing is reacting too much or too badly. You don't need anything more advanced than that.
Never admit to being unattractive. Don't self deprecate.
Don't be too serious. Flirting is little more than enjoying each other's company.
Please detail what happened.
Laser eyes is generally good.
This is generally bad. Women enjoy emotionally engaging conversation with attractive men. This does not involve making jokes or being a fucking clown.
Not relevant, but the fact that you think it might be suggests you are coming from a good-guy / nice-guy background.
This is all about inner frame and an inner attractive attitude...... which is much easier to do when your OUTER game is solid. And it's faster to fix your outer problems while you work on your inner confidence.
So..... you're chatting to a girl...... what happens next, what goes wrong?
Electrical_Tackle 2y ago
"Please detail what happened."
There was this girl i was seeing. I was holding her from behind in a restaurant line. After some minutes she just turned on me and phisically pushed me.
Other time i sent a message after some days saying "i'm going to see that job offer, want to go to?" and she replied pissed "dude i'm tired of your jokes i'm trying to talk about serious stuff and all you do is kid around". I swear to god out of nowhere without any context. I laughed and ignored, assuming something happened before. But i did saw as disrespect.
I also had a girl litteraly saying "i don't think you can handle me" after SHE made easy for our meeting to happen (coworker). . The thing is it's pattern: Usually things start with Anime Eyes and "WHY ARE YOU NOT TEXTING ME ALL DAY?" and not too far after it's Zombie Eyes and "let me be" kind of vibes.
I can say i do send some romantical shit over text. Not love messages, but idk they seem to enjoy, not sure it's the only problem. I have a feeling they see me as "too easy for a big guy" or something.
"Not relevant, but the fact that you think it might be suggests you are coming from a good-guy / nice-guy background."
I 100% do.
"This is all about inner frame and an inner attractive attitude...... which is much easier to do when your OUTER game is solid. And it's faster to fix your outer problems while you work on your inner confidence."
How?? To me it's hard. Reading/watching has not been enough, when i talk all i've learned goes to the back of my mind.
mattyanon Admin 2y ago
Two things here. You were physically holding her for too long and making her feel threatened...... also, she's a terrible person because she physically pushed you. Good chance you ignore a lot of red flags before this, and having failed a whole load of shit tests she stopped respecting you.
That's very weird. There's a whole lot of things that have gone wrong before this, either in your interactions with her or again: terrible girl that you failed to weed out sooner.
Don't date coworkers, it's always a terrible plan.
Learn to understand "I don't think you can handle me". The implication is that she is awful (red flag right there...... along with "if you can't handle me at my worst"). But also, this is strongly implying shit test failed and she has lost respect.
Yep.
Here's the common pattern:
You are failing shit tests with terrible girls.
like what?
The trick is this:
You can be flirty, you can even send romantic stuff. But the second you CARE is the second they lose respect for you. If you need them, if you need a response, if you need a particular response, if you react badly when she does normal girl shit, if you demonstrate attachment or show provider behaviour: they lose attraction and then treat you worse.
The other problem is if you are not sexual enough when she's attracted. You can drag out the flirting for a long time, but you have to be an unapologetically sexual being. You have to escalate sexually with her. Again without attachment or caring, because SHE IS JUST ONE GIRL and you must always act like you have 100 other girls begging for your dick.
This is tough. You are taught as a nice guy to respect women, respect their boundaries, etc etc. This makes you are great friend, but it gets you used by women. This was always the intention behind training you to be nice: that you would serve women's non-sexual needs while she fucks someone else. Being too nice = shit test failed.
Being nasty doesn't work, being bad doesn't work.
The trick is to be sexual and indifferent to her. Unattached. Caring is fine, but needing anything from her is not.
Right. You can't read a book and then act on everything in it, can't be done.
But you can learn behaviours one at a time. You can practice one thing at a time. Poor eye contact? Focus on staring everyone down for a month. Can't look at women in the eye? Focus on doing that for a month solid.
You just focus on one thing until you've got it down.
In your case: line things up with LOTS of girls until you stop caring. Doesn't have to be sex, can be just contact, texting, dates, whatever. You want the reach the point where you literally forget to text a girl because you're so busy. Women have a 6th sense for men in this position and they chase those guys hard. But it's really really hard to fake, so don't try - get lots of options, care about the outcome with none of them.
Secondly: be sexual. Touch girls.
Thirdly: take no shit from girls. There's lots of ways to do this, but the best is to focus on what she's scared of: social ostracization and being ignored / ghosted. One warning, after that you don't respond and you walk away. The better you do this the more they respect you and the more they want you.
[deleted] 2y ago
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coolsocks00 1 2y ago
Read the sidebar
Electrical_Tackle 2y ago
Easy answer, not the case because i already read.
coolsocks00 1 2y ago
How come you didnt implement the Game aspects?
How come you didnt look into Game in more depth, if the above didnt cut it?
Simple answers for simple problems
MrSupreme 2y ago
Social skills, feeling sexy as in comfortable in your own skin without external validation. "Sex appeal" is just a term coined in some sit-coms and movies to transmit how a sexually attractive person feels to others, when the camera and dialogues (shitty writing) just don't seem to cut it.