Hey TRP, I know there could be many reasons as to why a girl might ghost you after sex but thought I'd share my question here in case I can pick up some pointers.
I had been seeing this Japanese girl, was going strong with strong IOIs both in person and text. This girl would move her whole week around and request time off just to see me even though she worked basically everyday. Third date comes around once again super strong IOIs, she's basically escalating me and initiating much of the touching. We had already kissed and groped each other quite a bit prior.
Date ends with her coming back to a hotel I booked in the city as I kind of figured it would go this direction. We fuck and its alright, not my best work but also not my worst, that said I did struggle to cum as I think I drank a bit much and shit rubbers. Kind of give up and just roll over. Talk and cuddle for a bit before dosing off. Partway through she asks if I have a gf or wife which I thought was weird and asks why I booked a hotel. I recognised it as a shit test and kind of just played it off/ignored. Then I checked my phone and saw I had missed calls from a plate which may have happened while i was asleep so not sure if she saw those and prompted the questions.
I ended up leaving super early in the morning (5am) as I was struggling to sleep and had a flight to catch the next day. Explained this to her but not sure what she thought. I ended up seeing her the very next day as I forgot my keys at the hotel and she met up with me to return it. Her entire body language and behaviour then was completely different and extremely cold. I kind of just disregarded it until I texted her again on new years with a cute happy ny to see if things are still OK. Warm response but then when I texted her again she ghosts.
Does anyone know what may have happened here or where I fucked up? My initial feeling is she may have felt a bit like a slut coming back with me to a random hotel and me taking off in the middle of the night. But then when I tried to show some warmth I got the ghost treatment so a bit confused.
TLDR: Plate broke the day after sex and strong IOIs the entire time. Could it be slut defence, bad sex or other?
financehardo420 Should i (x1) 1y ago
A girl you’ve only fucked once… after 3 dates doesn’t even count as a plate. She has to be an established fuck to be a plate.
As you said… subpar sex. Nothing wrong w seeing multiple chicks but being sus about it doesn’t work in your favor; much like the meeting in a hotel and dipping early am.
Lone_Ranger 3 1y ago
Just don't worry about it. It could be a million things. You got what you wanted (a shag) so mission accomplished.
Move on to the next thing.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1y ago
Underwhelming performance. I think it impacted you.
Very low rapport optics. There is having options (which should help you) but in conjunction with the underwhelming sexual experience that probably conveyed lack of desire for her I don't believe it all helped you in conjunction
In summary
Very bad sex after 3 dates (basically a huge inticlimactic dud after all the climactic buildup) followed by low af rapport and leaving early.
She probably would have felt differently if it was world class sex, but in conjunction with this perfect storm, i believe fucked you
But that my 2¢
EurasianChad 1 1y ago
I'd just deny the girlfriend if you didn't have one. Be open about the fact you fuck other women. Few women are ok with being seen/thought of as hoes/homewreckers.
It seemed suspicious that you hid it. Wasn't a shit test dude.
LetsGetDigital212 1y ago
I did deny the gf/wife thing but then the questioning continued about booking the hotel so started to play it off/say I was too lazy to go back home
EurasianChad 1 1y ago
What I do when I'm being questioned by someone who isn't of any authority over me is to challenge their questioning.
"Oh I didn't know this was a police interrogation. What crimes am I being charged with?"
With a smile to play it off like you're fucking with her.
Depending on how she is, she may stop right there and laugh, and you can redirect, or she will double down. I generally don't like dealing with girls who want to question me for dumb shit so I just laugh and say "nah I ain't playing that game".
You hold the frame, and always retain willingness to walk away. You hold the boundaries my friend.
redhawkes 2 1y ago
Doesn't matter, had sex, plus she's not a plate.
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coolsocks00 1 1y ago
It was third date sex..
[deleted] 1y ago
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redhawkes 2 1y ago
Bro, just ignore the retard. Every time I see the word rapport or comfort thrown around here, my stomach acid increases immediately, especially, emotional connection.
Some people here think that comfort leads to sex lmao.
This guy in particular has "game" skills/experience level like a teenager, even tho he's in his 50's. He even gives advice parroting some purplepill book.. even tried to push it on the main sub and got called out by everyone there for his asper masterwork.
coolsocks00 1 1y ago
Lol, guy is clueless