I didnt have friends for long time,and didnt know how to make social circle. Meet 3 guys trough my friend(they were his friends). We were really good,I went first time in my life to nightclubs,eventually met some people trough them.I was nice to them and always helped. One day a guy that I became really close with,who told me his greates fears and problems just didnt want to reply to messages.He was lefting me and my friend on seen for no reason. i asked me what is the problem is he angry,did I did something wrong.He just left me on seen. We called him day after day didnt answer to me or my friend. Another guy called my friend to go to nightclub and that guy that wasnt answering was there. He was acting acting like nothing happened.My friend asked him "Are you angry to me" and he said something like "No,why would I be angry to you". However after that he doesnt call us anymore,doesnt reply to messages and now even his friends dont answer the phone to both of us.
After so much time and thinking I improved and started building circle,I went to zero after 6 months. It hurted me even emotionally because people that you trust and help,fuck you up for no reason. I started resenting people even more.
Lone_Ranger 3 1y ago
I don't even need to read your post, I get an impression that you are an angry sperg.
If you think 'friends will always stick a knife in my back' then you have a martyr complex. Possibly a bit of paranoia as well. "Nobody ever cared for me" - why would they? People care about their kids, and their close families. You have to really really be a close friend before someone owes you care. This is life.
It sounds like you need to work on yourself and and learn to interpret the world a bit better.
Problematic_Browser 1 1y ago
I'm gonna tell you a hard truth about being a man.
You are going to be alone for most of your life.
You have to get accustomed to the pleasure of your own company because, as men, nobody gives a shit about us unless we give some benefit to them. So you need to find a way to bring satisfaction and validation to your life that doesn't rely on others.
coolsocks00 1 1y ago
Imagine getting to know a dude, then that dude starts pestering you every fucking day, just because you didnt answer him a couple times. What a joke post.
EurasianChad 1 1y ago
Why tf u complaining like a bitch. Who the fuck cares.
Move on. U really gonna get emotional about small things like this? You're better than that dude...I hope.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1y ago
Next him and find better friends what is this resentment shit???
You should be content enough being comfortable on your own, invite people into your life who deserve it and mutually serve yours and theirs interest
High chance you two weren't compatible as friends. Improve your social skills and likeability and find better human beings to hang out with
1on1 1y ago
How to make friends,I tried with hobbies like running for 4 months.And generally people there werent intrested in hanging out outside of trainings,altough they were older.Maybe I should try again with people my age or different people. I went to kickboxing but nobody cares about you.I only made friends on kickboxing campus with guys that were in my room,because we were together all day and spend a lot of time in a week,but they traveled abroad and once you dont see each other freaquently bond dissapears. I think the trick in making friends is spending a lot of time with someone freaquently and being kind of similiar for extended period of time.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1y ago
No the trick in making friends is being likable, amicable, and having mutual goals and interests.
If you are checking off desireable friend to have boxes people will flock to you for friendship
If this isn't you, evaluate what you need to work on as a man (and just person in general) if friends are not coming easily for you. Basic friendships are not hard to acquire, evaluate what YOU are doing to put people off
RedPilledAF 1y ago
I didn't make any friends at boxing classes either because I'm a fucking nerd introvert with not a whole lot of social skills.
I did go out with one of the guys (let's call him Chad from now on) once though and let me tell you how he made 5 new friends on that day itself.
First, we went to karaoke and Chad was singing like like a rockstar. Then he was smiling at everyone, and making small talk to them. He also said a lot of funny things to girls and even teased them. I can't understand from where he pulls the shit he was saying but he was fucking great at talking to people and making them feel good.
Basically, this mofo was the life of the party and everyone loved him. Every motherfucker and girl he talked to was asking for his Instagram within 30 seconds of talking to him. I actually felt bad for going out with him that night because I'm so fucking shit compared to him.
As for me, I can't smile much, hate small talk, can't sing for shit, and I only really like talking to other people about work or deep topics like economics, history, computer algorithms, or other weird shit that nobody wants to talk about. I legit wanted to fuck off back to my apartment and I couldn't fall asleep that night because I realized how shit I am at socializing.
But let me tell you this: if you asked Chad to sit down and write a dissertation or program a computer, he would never be able to do it because that's not how his brain works.
So, basically introverts and nerds are pretty much fucked when it comes to social interactions because our brain is geared towards other non-social stuff.
But you gotta make friends anyway or else you'll kill yourself after getting depressed. My solution is to fake it. So these days, whenever I go out, I pretend to be like Chad and act like a hardcore introvert.
Keep in mind though, it's fucking exhausting (and I mean it) when you fake it and sometimes I get panic attacks from imposter syndrome and run away home. Some people even see through my bullshit sometimes, especially older men. And they call me out telling me why I'm acting like someone else, which gets fucking embarrassing. I actually feel like crying sometimes to be honest.
These days I only socialize on a schedule so that I can have enough energy for my work while also avoiding complete loneliness because that shit is depressing as fuck.
Hopefully I'll be able to find a better solution someday.
MrSupreme 1y ago
Guy on guy drama is the same as girl on guy drama,it is still drama.Find yourself a new set of guys to hang around with. It is easier said than done,but you gotta check out your hobbies and see what social life you can get out of that. I've been on that boat since I divorced and moved back home, plus there's a diaspora of people where I live,all my contacts moved away.
1on1 1y ago
Unfortunately my future job as software engineer altough pays good is asocial.It could be better for me to instead of kickboxing I go to acting classes or board games club,or dance classes but I dont find it intresting.Should I really put time into hobby just to meat people which I may not even become friends with or which will turn me down in a moment they like it.
MrSupreme 1y ago
I'd suggest you set yourself as your sole point of origin for engaging in any hobby. You want something where you can socialize so yeah,a acting classes can help you break your shell.Martial arts boosts confidence and humbles you a bunch, a few guys here on trp do MMA. Heck,even dungeons and dragons can be fun if there's a few cool guys to share it with. You got some time to think it through