I might be late with this realization so bear with me. A few weeks ago I posted on here about this date I went on with some female i met online who turned out to be fat IRL and used photos that were in my estimate at least 30-50 lbs lighter. As a result, afterwards I drastically pulled back from OLD. The only reason I even began was because my currently living situation severely limits my mobility. Luckily this ends when I start school next year. Reflecting on this fat catfish made me reminisce about the good old days when I was totally free and competently absent from OLD. This brought me to my realization: despite OLD supposedly being the "easier" way of dating, if I equate my real life dating record to a batters', I would have a much higher batting average than my overall online dating 1 and more triples & HRs than online. In other words, I get more women and better quality women IRL then I ever have online. Furthermore, I don't believe this is an occurrence unique to me. I'm too tired from eating and other things this Christmas Eve so I need help. Can any explain this paradox to me, as well as the fact that although many other men realize this, they still OLD?
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Intrepid_Place53900 1 2y ago
I think OLD really depends on a few things.
1) your age, the younger you are , it probably won't be a good experience unless you are tall, jacked and good looking. Then you are the hot guy to have fun with.
2) are you looking for casual or LTR. Example, Tinder, casual. Match or bumble more for relationships, where you have to actually create a bio and pay,etc.
3) what OLD vendor you use. see # 2, you have to use the ones that make sense for what you are looking for. I Used Match for example, where almost every girl was looking for a LTR. I would see quite a few of the girls on Match, only looking for a LTR, also have bio's on Tinder, with no mention of anything, or "not sure" he he.
I mean in reality, every girl on any OLD vendor, is probably looking for a relationship, but, if the right guy comes around and he's funny or I'm bored or int he mood, well, a girls got to have fun ya know.
I did well on OLD, never had an issue getting girls. But , I'm old, it seems to be much different for guys in their 20's for example.
So, sure, I met girls who were 40 pounds heavier than in their pictures. Met girls who were older than their pictures. Planned to meet girls who cancelled last minute.
But, also met some fun girls and in a LTR with a girl from OLD.
Another thing I noticed, that makes perfect sense if you think about it.
the good ones drop off "real" quick.
If she's pretty, seems like she's got her act together, a normal person. She won't be on OLD for long. Guys will snatch her and not let a good one go.
So, like IRL. There's not a lot of pretty girls, with their act together and good attitudes.
For many, like me, I have a very limited ability to find girls IRL between my job, taking care of a house, kids,etc. OLD was another option.
Use all options available.
AbusiveFather1 2y ago
OLD is trash, you’re right to assume that you can get better girls in real life. OLD is for women, male models and investors making a killing off premium-buying simps.
Redpillpusher 2y ago
Agreed but why though? It would be logical to assume that because there are much lower quality women online than one would run into IRL that online dating would be much easier, i.e. one would have a better batting average online. This isn't the case obviously. I'm assuming it's due to the overwhelming and unrealistic attention these females get in comparison to the attention they receive in the real world
MovinCruisin 2y ago
Ding, ding. Additionally, factor in hypergamy. In real life, women are limited by the physical environment, but online that logically isn't the case. There's this giant pool of people to check out, right at their fingertips, so from all these people they only really gain interest in the absolute top guys. Women hate to settle for less.
Redpillpusher 2y ago
So you're saying their online delusions of grandeur artificially suppress the win rate... then why are men still heavily using these apps? Besides those with situations like mine, any man going to OLD is in a sunken place, unless his real life dating is equally as bad, then he's still in a sunken place
Overkill_Engine Endorsed Contributor 2y ago
Due to the relative newness of OLD, especially the smartphone versions, it's going to take a while for the bulk of men to catch on. I mean, just look at how long it took with no-fault divorce and for men to finally catch onto what a raw deal that was creating for them. Nearly two generations for that.
Thankfully with the advent of the Information Age, it's easier for men to find out and share info. But I would not be surprised if it takes 1.5 to 2 generations for men as a whole to realize that Tinder and the like are as bad or worse than the bar scene for finding a woman that isn't a dumpsterfire.
Redpillpusher 2y ago
It's crazy how it might actually take that long. We can be so blind to what is directly in our faces
Overkill_Engine Endorsed Contributor 2y ago
Pussy is a hell of a drug.
The potency of such and its influence on men is a large part of why we are at where we are - without that, women would have been subject to far more selection stress and the less....desirable behavior strains would have been more harshly curtailed.
1on1 2y ago
When I went from fat to six pack abs 10% body fat with big muscles I didn’t got any dates on OLD while IR girls were checking me out everywhere I went.I got around 15-20matches maybe little more in 1.5 years but they were either bots,didnt reply,replied once,ghosted after several minutes of texting or ghosted in time of a day.I got one superlike from one girl from another city next to mine,but I stopped communicating becase she was too far away and I also got insults from one match how ugly and short I am (5’10).
Vermillion-Rx Admin 2y ago
It's not a paradox at all.
Women who suck at real life dating, which isn't hard because men hit them up everywhere they go (or sluts looking for easy Chad cack) use OLD
Women also just judge you based on photos it isn't realistic. They just go in a fuck "hot" men and mostly go on validation dates for every other guy and give him a shot to run some tingles of he's not "hot"
Where is the paradox at? It is extremely straightforward they all just swipe right on the hottest men and go on "maybe he's okay" dates or boredom/free meal dates with everyone else
I've posted my experience with this many times with a girl i once unmatched from hinge but organically met a year later her opinion of me IRL was way different than when she matched with me on an app a year prior
Also here as well
Redpillpusher 2y ago
it is a paradox because logically one would conclude that in an environment that has low quality females (OLD), it would be easier for men to date as opposed to an environment with higher quality females (IRL), yet in reality it isn't the case. The responders here have helped to clear up the paradox for me.
Lone_Ranger 3 2y ago
The answer is easy:
OLD is trash because if a woman is not ancient, fat or ugly (or all three), she doesn't NEED to go on OLD. She can just go to the nearest bar, sit there, and a multitude of dudes will simp hard for her.
Consider this: an average looking NPC normie girl under 35 gets as much attention from the opposite sex as a male movie star gets from the opposite sex. If you are an ok looking woman with a fat ass in tight leggings and hoddie, you get the same amount of attention as brad pit gets from women. Everywhere you go, the constant validation and attention.
Ordinary looking women do not need OLD. They go on OLD when they have aged out of the CC, or if they are fat or ugly. Or, they go on OLD because they are collecting orbiters to make their phone go 'ping' (dompamine hit).
Your experience that OLD is trash for men is backed up by other men.
In IRL, men have the advantage. Online, women have the advantage.
Ergo, IRL approaches work way better for men.
mattyanon Admin 2y ago
OLD is easier.....
for HER. To lie.
for other guys. To spam her.
End result: it's much much harder for you.
Redpillpusher 2y ago
Accurate & succinct
financehardo420 2y ago
OLD is maybe still lit in major cities ie NYC/MIA/LA/CHI. also vacation destinations (Cabo, Cancun, etc).
Maybe here and there major college towns but it’s really hit or miss.
Imo the train left the station for OLD back in 2018…. It was lit like when it first started and it’s been on decline since then.
What’s left on OLD is chicks that didn’t secure relationships. If she’s an absolute rocket on tinder, she’s probably batshit crazy and/or absolutely ran thru (otherwise a chad would have LTRed that up). If she’s not an absolute rocket there is probably some gross ick factor associated w the girl (Megan fox thumbs) or some other shit. Or she’s secretly fat etc etc