I know, this is the weirdest title. Basically, I used to always be strikingly good looking when i was younger. I mean, grown men would tell me i should stop working at X job and should model, guys used to approach me at gyms to model their new clothing brand, girls used to ask me for photos, hb8 girls used to approach and give me their numbers etc.
I was the classic 170 lb (basically not huge but kinda muscular but lean) 18 year old Chad with the square jaw and nice curly hair down to my shoulders. I will refer to this as my baseline.
Now im 27, and i will admit i have noticed some changes. I look more manly now, but im still the same good looking 18 year old, but recently became tatted on my legs and arms and 210 lbs muscle (i did a steroid cycle after being natural and working out almost 10 years consistenly).
This put me over the edge, in a great amazing way. But really, it just made me cockier and more arrogant (internally). I realized that i can see a smoking hot girl in the gym, maybe 1-5 people (girls included) will check her out. But when i step in there, its like the entire gym stares at me and puts me on this pedastool. This basically happens in most cases if im at the store, etc. Same thing with men. If I see a really objectively good looking Chad, they get a little attention, but nothing on my level.
Ive come to terms that I have Apex Chad looks, through natural baseline genetics and 10 years gym hardwork and tattoos/steroids.
Heres where things changed..
For the first time in my life I grew out my scruffle. And about 2 months ago I officially found out i can grow a beard. So now, im adding the beard to the arsenal and its pushed me to the upper echelons..
Sounds good right? I know it is deep down. But my issue is that since growing out my beard and my recent steroid cycle, i completely strike fear in men.
My second job is a private driver for a company that transports some high value people..Ive been doing it for a few years. One thing i notice is that these high value men have a strong frame with me when we greet and make small talk, but after 5 minutes in my car they start having a panic attack in the back seat. I can hear them breathing extremely hard (this has happened to me maybe 5 times in my life so im speaking from experience) Making grown men have panic attacks have happened maybe almost 30 times in the past few months, where it rarely happened to me in the past.
Basically my strong silent presence and frame alone makes them lose their frame. I try to remain stoic and ignore it to not make it awkward, but i slowly gain a smirk on my face and fight it to keep a straight face, which ends up making it look smug. Its out of my control. If I let it go ill start cracking up to myself, in a weird uncalled for way. I think it makes me look judgmental when im the complete opposite, i try to hide the smirk to put them at ease and keep things normal.
Now this extends to everything, when i order chipotle, the people i speak to are visibly shaken from my presence. I cant help but smirk in their face when i tell them i want brown pinto beans and extra brown rice, etc.
I went to a few social events recently, met a bunch of new people over beers, and when we talk after a few minutes the guys look shaken from my presence and they start to lose frame and i start smirking awkwardly. Everyone at the table seems to notice, which makes me self-conscious that im looking like an absolute smug dbag.
Same thing happens on the train, when i step on the train everythings normal. But then sooner or later people start staring at me, and i notice girls checking me out and men are either scared or giving me admiring/envious looks. Then I cant help but start smirking like a fucking smug dbag again, and then people notice and i lose my luster.
When im walking around hte mall and see women checking me out i do the smug smirk, which i want to clarify this is not the same thing as the confident, sly seductive smirk women like. Its more of a "im the shit i saw you checking me out" type of smirk, which is completely weird reaction imo.
I think its making me look insane, crazy, smug, arrogant, im not sure how it comes across to people but they definitely notice.
As you can imagine, this spreads to everything i do. Its a new habit i picked up maybe 3 months ago. The only change i can think of is thats around the time my beard first grew in and put me on another level of smv.
Im trying to figure out how to deal with this. I thought i was having weird anxiety reactions from having 1000-2000mg/ caffeine per day. I literally had a insanely rough stretch the past 4 months of insane 80 hour work weeks and i needed caffeine pills to get me thru the day.
Things at work slowed down to normal and so i decided to quit caffeine 2 weeks ago cold turkey. From what i read online it should be out my system, but i find myself doing the smug ass smirk still.
Not sure what to do now. Should i embrace it? Is it in my head? Should i see a therapist? I have a weird feeling its a weird combination of anxiety, stress, happy where im at in my life, and then 2000 mg/day of caffeine.

[deleted] 2y ago
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EurasianChad 1 2y ago
Didn't read the whole thing but I believe I got your message.
I got the same effect too if I'm being too serious and not taking things lightly. Big muscles, low bodyfat, strong presence. You put people at ease by being more lighthearted and fun. You can inject that serious/ambition side when it matters, but most people are just focused on comfort and avoiding pain bro.
You can make yourself more chill, but inject value when the situation calls for it. You come off as more easy-going and people won't be afraid of your judgement, allowing them to open up faster and get comfortable with you.
I keep the confident mindset internally, but verbally say it only once in a while. Just makes you more pro-social to these 99%ers. However, if something is true, I never deny it. Just smile and nod, like it ain't no big deal.
pocketroxx 2y ago
The thing is im humble and genuinely a nice guy. But i am overflowing with confidence that i smirk at everyone so smug, so my body language is douche baggy and weird.
Its a new thing for me, developed about 3 months ago, im hoping it goes away with time, but in the meantime its weird to make successful men and other "big dawgs" defeated around me. And not the good kind. I cant help but smirk when i notice, and it makes them feel offended like im bullying them lol... like i notice and am laughing. does this make sense?
This happens in the most mundance instances, like just doing daily life, so its weird that i come across as having this power trip smirk on my face..
EurasianChad 1 2y ago
Meditate so you're more aware of yourself but not in an anxious way, but calm manner.
You can consciously change your own body language through habit and repetition over time.
I've had people complain about me feeling superior to others, or that I think I'm too cool: but really, they feel bad about themselves so they come up with these rationalizations.
If it's a genuine problem, change it. If not, maybe you're just surrounded by chodes. Most girls just see me as confident and love it. Most dudes respect me. I respect myself. That's all that matters
Permacultist 2y ago
Read the New Testament; study Jesus and the apostles. Understand that suffering and death are unavoidable. Engage other people where they are at and try to be lighthearted and fun.
Acela_nextel 2y ago
Well damn, I get noticed by dudes alot but hot girls mostly ignore me, and I’ve almost never been approached. Probably cause I’m half black lmao
pocketroxx 2y ago
Like if youre in a room with hot women, they dont give you IOI's, or get in your proximity?
Acela_nextel 2y ago
I’m mean I’ve never in a room alone with hot women, but I’ve been in places with a lot of them. Usally when I walk into a place a lot of dudes will notice me. With women it’s more scattershot but usally the non-WASPY women will notice me. But a lot of ethnic women (latinas,Arabs) mostly go after white chads. I’ve read that when women approach dudes they find attractive, it’s usally indirect such as asking him for directions to a place. Or more rarely, directly complimenting the dude/asking for a number.
I can’t really say I’ve been approached by a attractive girl before, probably cause I’m not white. I used to cold approach a lot but I’d get rejected pretty much all the time, so now that my smv is higher and I get IOI’s from women I find attractive I don’t really know how to react. I guess it’s cause I know that maybe if I was better looking/white they probably approach me more directly, cause being blackpilled I don’t enjoy speaking to them since I know what they really think of most men.
MrSupreme 2y ago
I get guys in the gym trying to measure up and compare themselves to me,I'm about 15kgs overweight and have only been going to the gym for 1 year.
Guys try to emulate a vibe of self confidence with physique, external validation and social proof. When it all comes from within,and they can't emulate that in just an instant while you're around. It takes a lot of effort to find the inner Chad we all have inside, it may not be the chaddest of them all,but it is a darn good chad
pocketroxx 2y ago
Yes, Im aware that im basically "amog"-ing some genuinely high value men, which just says something about myself and my 'value' ..
But how do i stop smirking? Bevcause these are high value men they too are very versed in body language and can read my 'judgment' that im trying to hold back the laughs.
Is it possible to keep a straight face while amoging everyone on god mode? I guess so, because i see celebrities and professional athletes, musicians do it with grace. But not me, i just smirk and laugh in their face and its uncalled for, in mundance scenarios of people just going about life. But i cant fight it, its just a rush of dopamine chemicals getting to my head (figuratively) . Like it feels fucking good to be a winner with both hard work and genetics working together.
A smug smirk should be saved for someone talking shit, -- not just thrown around arrogantly to people who are most likely admiring and being respectful of me.
Acela_nextel 2y ago
White boi got offended huh? Bitch
MrSupreme 2y ago
We'll move your face, take some public speaking classes, it can only help.
Edit: let me elaborate a bit on the public speaking classes. Think of politicians and leaders. Use words to break the ice and get people to warm up to you or just to "sooth" them. Instead of relying on facial expressions and body language,develop a silver tongue and it may make encounters less awkward and more friendly. It is not all seduction and fucking, it will help on a personal development scale,and on a professional level as well.just my 2 cents