Had a date with a girl on Saturday, it went well (kino throughout etc). At the end of the date I was getting ready to go home but she asked if we can go to a girlfriends bar to continue the night (I assume to show me off?). We went, girlfriend 3rd wheeled a bit, night ended with a kiss close.
On my way home she called slightly drunk and asked me to come over Monday night, I agreed. Monday comes round she texts saying she doesn't feel great and can't do Monday (ASD?). I say no problem, let me know if she's free Wed/Thurs. She said she'll let me know although she feels a cold coming. Wednesday goes (nothing) and Thurs roles round she doesn't let me know. Text her asking if she's free Thursday evening but she says no she's got a busy day finishing things because she's travelling to see family the next day over the weekend. I believe her because she mentioned this trip multiple times throughout the 1st date whilst slightly tipsy. I haven't replied to this message.
Should I just soft next from here and reengage Monday inviting her for drinks? We have had 1 or 2 texts throughout the each day so it's not been radio silence throughout the week, but I don't want to continue texting. This feels like the scales are tipping between adorer vs the adored.
I have other plates in the meantime so no big deal not progressing with this one.
coolsocks00 1 1y ago
I would have waited much longer to reengage than you did. Now yes, next.
Lone_Ranger 2 1y ago
Sounds like she was down for some dick on Sat but you failed to deliver, so now she is getting dick from elsewhere.
Seriously - why did you not close on Sat night? She was tipsy, out for dick and you somehow fumbled the ball?
TheoC11 1y ago
Her and her friend did not want me to come over Saturday because it was too soon (1st date). I tried. How would you proceed from here.
1.) Reply saying safe trip, we'll get drinks when you're back 2.) Soft next. Final text on Monday with date/time for 2nd date?
Arcturus 1y ago
Hold off on being the first to say anything for two weeks. During that time you should be talking to multiple other women. If before then she gets back to you AND indicates she wants to meet, cool. If she just seems to be fishing for attention, keep it to one or two word replies until she gives you something to work with. If she doesn't, draw a line under things. If two weeks comes around, hit her up with something random, funny observation or question. If she seems into it set up a meet. If she agrees cool, if not, cut your losses, and invest your time in better prospects.
Lone_Ranger 2 1y ago
Her AND her friend?? If she didn't want to come over, then it looks like its finished. She would have come over for chad or tyrone, but she didn't for you.
If there is no sex on first date, my rule was always no second date.
TheoC11 1y ago
yeah after our date, she wanted to go to friends bar to carry on. From there, the friend 3rd wheeled. I kiss closed the date at the end of the night, logistics weren't setup for my house that night.Whilst waiting for their taxi, they said it's way too soon for a guy to come over to their house after 1 night. I guess the ASD was in full force.
Is there a nuclear option I can send to close this?
Lone_Ranger 2 1y ago
Nope. Don't bother. No nuclear options. Just ignore and move on.
Onto greener pastures. Head up and move on.
If she does contact you again, pivot straight to 'come on over'. But only offer her that. This hard to get nonsense is bs.
TheoC11 1y ago
Makes sense, I'll just leave her last message "Not free tonight, quite busy today preparing as travelling to see family tomorrow" on read and move onto other options.
As a secondary question, it's recommend logistics only for text but I've found when I do that the amount of shit tests that come with it is so annoying and it seems modern women especially college aged love texting. Any way to know if you're over texting or should all messages only ever be geared towards logistics.
[deleted] 1y ago
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