Hi all
I messaged a girl and told her to "Come Hangout with me on Saturday" based on the advise here I avoided pleasantries like "hi how are you" and all that. She messaged me and said "it would have been nicer if you said hi first" how would you react to that? Just ignore it?
truthdontbehidden 7mo ago
ignore her and then what? Do you think she will text you again then? Bro just say something that fits you that is comforting enough for her to pass her shit test.
Lone_Ranger 1 7mo ago
I would have messaged her straight back:
"Hi first, come hang out with me on Saturday"
Make a joke of it. It looks to me as if she is just doing some token resistance - she is probably dtf (otherwise, why would she have responded at all?). Women do the token resistance thing to make themselves feel better about themselves, because deep down they don't respect themselves (quite rightly).
Don't doubt yourself too much. Don't give up too easily. Don't always be looking for meaning in what women are saying. Just make a joke of it and carry on. Keep focused on the kill. Don't get distracted. That's what she wants, that's what you want.
Let's get it on.
Testme 7mo ago
The mistake here was making an invitation before a sufficient comfort level was reached. Why would a girl go out with somebody she doesn't know at all? You could be anybody, a rapist for starters.
Is this an app? Because if it is: don't do apps.
Noonenoname 7mo ago
I already met her in person she isn't a stranger.
Testme 7mo ago
Well, you are not giving any context. Obviously if she reacted that way there was a severe deficit in comfort level.
Noonenoname 7mo ago
The context is I met her in the street (cold approach), got her number then spoke on the phone and met to grab a quick drink. It was a cool flirty interaction. I was told here never send long messages and don't say things like goodnight / good morning so I sent the short "legs hangout sunday message" do you think there is more to her upset than me simply not saying "Hi" first?
The rest of the conversation is below:-
I put "I guess I'm just not nice"
She replied "Good morning I hope you had a restful night"
Then said "Thanks for letting me know. I don't hang out with people that are not nice."
I guess she may still be somewhat interested as she is still messaging What should I do next? Go silent?
MidgetSpinner 7mo ago
She has no sense of humour lol. Just move on to the next one. She's culling herself acting like this.
Your main problem still is that you're trying to please her, whether you realise it or not. What would be attractive is if you didn't give a fuck what she said, and played around with her, had fun with the things she says. If she doesn't like or understand that, then oh well.
Noonenoname 7mo ago
Good point man. Have no many options you don't give a fuck and it will filter through whatever you say. Despite that I've got some really good pointers here on how to open, avoid long messages, how long to wait after getting her number etc.
Testme 7mo ago
I know there is a lot of RP advice out there that says how assholes that are mean to girls get all the sex, but that is not true. If you come off as a dick, then obviously she will be turned off. Teasing only works on somebody with whom you already have a rapport. You can't tease a stranger.
Unless a girl is a total slut and literally wants to screw you regardless of what comes out of your mouth, you have to establish some kind of relationship up front. You will see posts by guys who brag about how they "smash" girls after dissing them and so forth, but those are generally good looking, tall men who are getting approached by the girl to begin with.
"Hanging out" is a bad idea pretty much always because it is purposeless. Women do not like purposeless men and using phrases like that projects low SMV.
Before making another invitation, you should try to get her in a good mood again by referring back to whatever positive interaction you had before. So, you should say something like "When we first met, I really liked how you XYZ'ed" or "I was thinking about what you said in the cafe, it's interesting because...". Depending on how she answers, try to follow up with something amusing and/or intresting.
Once you have got her in a good mood again, then start over and invite her to the cafe again, or a similar place where there will be other people and she is familiar with.
Don't focus on getting physical. Focus on putting her in a good mood and getting her to associate you with positivity. Let her come to you.
Noonenoname 7mo ago
How about I wait a few days and put
Hi how are you? Hope you had a nice weekend.
Today I was looking at massage options and wondered have you ever thought about becoming a masseuse? Your hands are so crazy small you could hit all the right spots that normal size hands people miss.
If she responds positively I could then say come over and I'll show you how although that might be a little too blatant.
Testme 7mo ago
Don't say hi. Don't say "I hope you had a nice weekend" because it just sounds totally faggy and friendy. You are trying to create EMOTION. Every time you say friendy things like "hi" or "have a nice day" you destroy emotion and create boredom. It kills any kind of attraction the person has for you. I don't even say these things to sales clerks, much less a girl I am trying to seduce.
Just write something along the lines of what I said. Do not talk about career advice, it's a friend-zone subject. You don't need to wait.
Noonenoname 7mo ago
The reason she got mad at me was because I didn't say "Hi" so unless it was shit test I should have done that?
It wasn't supposed to be career advise it was supposed to be making fun of her small hands. I can't think of anything else we spoke about to loop back to.
How about. "I saw some dolls in a shop window with bigger hands than you. How on earth do you buy gloves? Maybe you secretly get doll sized ones?
Testme 7mo ago
You said you met her twice: once on the street and once at a cafe and that it (both times?) was a "fun flirty interaction" but now you are telling me you have no followup?
Do not make fun of things a person cannot change, such as the size of their hands.
If you can't think of anything to refer to, then refer to your projects, which should be artistic in nature. For example: "I recently finished a painting and I want to get your opinion on it." (send a picture) or "I recently wrote this song and I want your opinion." (send recording) or "I recently wrote this story and I want your opinion." (send copy of story) etc. That should get the conversation going again and hopefully create some new emotion.
mattyanon Admin 7mo ago
Ignore.
Or "I guess I'm just not nice".
Noonenoname 7mo ago
I put "I guess I'm just not nice"
She replied "Good morning I hope you had a restful night"
Then said "Thanks for letting me know. I don't hang out with people that are not nice."
I guess she may still be somewhat interested as she is still messaging What should I do next? Go silent?
mattyanon Admin 7mo ago
Yep, silent. It's a shit test.
Noonenoname 7mo ago
Ok how long do you think she will she go silent on a shit test? A few days or longer?
mattyanon Admin 7mo ago
You care about this too much... you see the problem right?
She has (correctly) detected that you want her more than she wants you.... she now demands you to be nice..... and now you care when she ignores you for a bit.
This isn't the girl you want, and you need to be better with other girls.
EurasianChad 1 7mo ago
Jeeez man you're always looking for the right ways to behave. I'd imagine your self esteem would be going down trying to adjust to every girls standards.
I'd just ignore it. Let her simps give her the good mornings and bullshit texts.
But I'll add this. Before you go "come hangout with me on saturday", at least set the premise that you're a chill guy who can converse normally. She has to know that you arent some weird creep first.
Noonenoname 7mo ago
Fair enough but I was told don't make normal "boring" conversation by message be direct and keep messages short so that's what I did
truthdontbehidden 7mo ago
ok bro you are definetly an autist. (no insult). Text : hello, bye but not this daily: how are you. Thats it.
Noonenoname 7mo ago
To be fair he did did say to me avoid all pleasantries such as how are you goodnight goodmorning. I took it a little too far by not saying Hi but it's just 1 insignificant word. To get so caught up on a missing (hi) could be seen as autistic n itself.
truthdontbehidden 7mo ago
Its not about if you add an Hi or not, but lets say you did not text with her 2 days. Some introductionary text is necessary (for many girls), because else it comes across as socially uncalibrated to randomly shoot a chick a text like : "Come here"
Noonenoname 7mo ago
Yes I understand it's rather abrupt.
Noonenoname 7mo ago
Yeah maybe I am who knows.
MidgetSpinner 7mo ago
You're not an autist if you're capable of learning. Just say whatever you feel like. That's it, just don't don't over text, be needy, butthurt etc. That's literally it. Anything else is fine. Those are my rules. I rarely say hi either. Only when it's introductory.
Noonenoname 7mo ago
Ok so I'm not an Autist for not saying Hi then lol good to know.
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nicknack 7mo ago
the hi how are you thing is honestly fine. if she's interested she will respond well. texting is more so about not fucking up than it is building attraction. inviting her to a party directly without any consideration to whats going on in her life is something id consider fucking up. just text her like youre texting a friend. i ask my friends whats up hows it going.
Noonenoname 7mo ago
Ok so not putting Hi first is fucking up? How do I recover from it?
nicknack 7mo ago
Time heals all just keep working towards it and avoid as much fucking up as possible
Noonenoname 7mo ago
I put "I guess I'm just not nice"
She replied "Good morning I hope you had a restful night"
Then said "Thanks for letting me know. I don't hang out with people that are not nice."
I guess she may still be somewhat interested as she is still messaging What should I do next? Go silent?
nicknack 7mo ago
You’re playing games bro. Since you’re already playing games keep playing, nothing to lose. It’s all experience
Noonenoname 7mo ago
Why do you think I'm playing games?
nicknack 7mo ago
Because you’re strategizing every interaction with this girl down the each text as opposed to just talking to her naturally.
Noonenoname 7mo ago
Ok fair enough I want to improve my interaction is why.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 7mo ago
You didn't escalate properly, almost no plausible deniability