I’ve been with this girl for a year and a half, she’s a lovely person and I enjoy her company, we stopped speaking a few months ago but she reached out and have been together for the past few months now as my girlfriend again
I went through her phone recently and saw that she met up with her ex a few times very briefly, I’m certain she hasn’t slept with him but not 100% sure, it did anger me but whatever it’s done now I can’t change it…
Yesterday we went out with her family and had a great time and when we got in bed I asked her how did it go with her ex yesterday, she obviously didn’t know that I knew and she kept trying to play it off but eventually she said I’m sorry I should have told you, he keeps pressuring me to talk to him and see him and she just got a lift back from work which I know is the case, nothing happened but still she saw him, I didn’t get mad at all which she said scares her that Idagf anymore which I really don’t at this point, I’m ready to move on
I kind of broke it off with her and then we fucked and I stayed the night, she wants me to stay but I have decided I don’t want to be in a LTR with her anymore but how can I go about turning her into a plate or if that’s even an option, I’m considering telling her I want to take a break and instead of living with her just see her once a week or so but I don’t want to lead her on
Some advice would be great
nicknack 7mo ago
No it’s a result of scarcity. If you had other girls you wouldn’t have time to even see her as a plate and let’s be honest new pussy is better
Johnmackle 7mo ago
I had other plates but I broke them off after getting caught, I would like to keep her as one but not sure if it’s a good idea
nicknack 7mo ago
As Biden says, “Build back better”, sometimes we need to rebuild the team. Every guy has the same problem, as when we have a girl we tend to lend our roster slip away from us.
Durek_The_Bald 7mo ago
You can just straight up tell her that the whole BF/GF thing is off the table from now on, but that you can remain FWB if she wants. She either takes it or leaves it. If she leaves it, you leave it too. You should have other options anyways, so shouldn't be a big deal to you.
EurasianChad 1 7mo ago
OP: I don't care about her. Goes through her phone. Gets angry.
Let's be honest here bro. You got feelings for this chick. You called off all your plates for it too.
Its perfectly reasonable for you to want to see her as a plate only, and it can work if she accepts that offer. Otherwise she needs to go, or you break your principles which will lower your own self esteem.
However for your case, I would suggest you don't keep seeing her as you clearly have developed or reignited some feelings for her. Even if you only do it as a plate, you're going to get emotionally attached. It has already been done. Down the line you found out she fucked her ex, will you be ok with that? Say she fucked another guy unknown to you while it was over, will you be okay with that?
I certainly wouldn't.
Seagram7 7mo ago
I keep seeing advice of demoting a girlfriend to plate or piece of ass status and like you said, if you caught feels for her and actually like her, demoting her to just "a steady girl to fuck" status is almost impossible. I really think that the few guys that are actually able to do this must have ice water running through their veins. I couldnt do it. It is really just best to break it off and move on.
EurasianChad 1 7mo ago
Many things play a part such as whether or not you kept your roster while taking her "seriously", etc.
As you become more self aware you start seeing when you're liking a girl more. I personally start to distance myself if I feel these emotions coming in, it's a mental discipline thing.
mattyanon Admin 7mo ago
Right. but she didn't. she got caught.
It's very hard because women hate this.
It's risky, but here goes:
If kind of broke it off but still fucked her you're halfway there. Now you act differently. Do not consistently make plans for the next date. Have gaps. "Yeah, I'm busy this week, I'll be in touch". Create emotional distance, talk to her less. You need to subcommunicate that you are not boyfriend-girlfriend anymore. Less bf/gf things. No dates. Meet, hang out, don't talk about your future lives together etc. Hot sex.
As regards telling her you fuck other girls.... if you do it right she'll get the picture. Ideally you tell her outright, but that's risky too. Best bet is you act differently and she tacitly accepts it.
If she ever asks if you're fucking other girls you say "of course" like it's no big deal. "Since when???" / "Since we broke up in November". She'll PRETEND that she thinks you're in a relationship still, but deep down she'll spot the difference if you do it right.
Might not work, so SEE OTHER WOMEN.