My friends always tell me that im so witty and how getting girls must be so easy for me but trust me its not, thats cause my brain is retarded, when i was in school i was bullied by almost all kids cause i was weird and an easy target (skinny and very short), when i left school i tried fixing the problem by lifting and learning to fight, i got two time wider than i am tall and people dont bully me anymore but the trauma is still there, everytime i talk with someone unfamiliar my brain goes fight or flight and i completely lose the ability to be witty/clever/ charismatic, is there anyway i can fix this?
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Gilles 2y ago
Therapy. Reading red pull stuff won't fix this
Noonenoname Should i (x1) 2y ago
Therapy. Also try starting small. Talk to someone. Anyone. Not a super hot girl a random guy a nice old lady just practise chatting and being social. No agenda nothing to "get or gain" from it. Simple question such as what's the nicest bread what's the nicest restaurant, does Christmas get crazier every year etc what's it like to work here etc etc. Build up from there make it a little harder each time.
Shop workers are good practise they are paid to be nice to you.
Noonenoname Should i (x1) 2y ago
Be careful of secret excuses. We all have them secret excuses mate. I'm too young too old too skinny too fat too ugly too short bad childhood childhood trauma too poor. Accept your situation is a shit one (just like most people) and do it anyway.
I think life is about taking a shit situation and making it less shit. Keep doing that and eventually you will have a good life but there will still be shit it will never go away.
User4566 2y ago
I definitely could have wrote this post myself.
Kids are jerks, they don’t fully understand the psychological damage that bullying can have on someone. Even though I hate my childhood bullies, I forgive them for being jerks because they didn’t know any better and the common trait they all had was they had problems at home. Maybe their parents were split up, their older brothers bully them, alcoholic parents, poor, whatever. They also had their insecurities so they needed someone to shit on to make themselves feel better.
I still hold onto those feelings though. I feel like I’m not good enough for a lot of things because I was put through hell growing up. I don’t have the answers to your problem but I think a good first step is realizing that kids don’t know any better. I used to make racist jokes towards kids and it took me years later to realize that while it may have been funny to me, it still made those kids feel like they were different and not like me.
Lone_Ranger 3 2y ago
Sorry to hear about the child hood trauma.
BUT.... I got to say this...... The mark of a man is what he does when the chips are down. Does he stand up and fight or does he feel sorry for himself?
I don't know you, but it does sound a little bit like you are feeling sorry for yourself. No life is a bed of roses. All men suffer from social anxiety. All guys are nervous. I once heard a musician talking about how all rock stars get stage fright. It comes and goes, with no warning. Glen Fry said that its common to see guys throw up from fear backstage, before going on. Everyone does it sometimes.
But the difference between a rock star and and a nobody? The rock star throws up in the bin, then wipes his face with the back of his hand and then goes out on stage and does his thing.
This 'trauma' talk is therapy talk. That shit is for girls. Don't get sucked into that. Talk to friends, real people. If you dont' have friends that you can talk to about this sort of stuff, then develop them. Make it a priority. 3 or 4 good friends is what every man needs.
And then be a rock star. Feel the fear and do it anyway.
Noonenoname Should i (x1) 2y ago
Good answer. I think therapy is good and should be considered but be aware it can be rather feminine so don't rely on it 100%