Hey boys. I met with a nice woman the other day. 5'3, fairly well put together, owns her house, decent feminine job. We definitely had some chemistry, but between eating in a fairly fancy dinner spot and my failure to really make her do any work I feel like the whole dynamic ended up pretty shitty.
She ended up saying that she didn't really feel a connection after ending the night with a kiss. It was a nice kiss, she came back for more after I pulled away so there must have been some connection?
I felt like maybe I didn't escalate enough so tried pressing it on text (big fail) only to probably come off as weird or creepy. Over the date I didn't really ask her anything to make sure she would be right for me and instead we just talked about stupid shit like jobs and tv shows. After I sent that cringe message, she sent me something back saying she still might want to meet in the future (maybe the message wasn't that cringe?)
So... I deleted the dating app after getting that message from her. About a week ago. I felt like I blew it from pushing harder after she said she didn't feel it. We never exchanged numbers but I did find her facebook because she gave me her last name.
Would it even be worth my time to try messaging her? I feel like I did like her but I don't want to be playing these games from the start. I've thought that if she reaches out I'll message her but just want to hear other advice. She's a baker though and I want her to bake a cake for my birthday, but I don't want to come off too strong anymore I guess. ALSO, after she told me that she didn't feel the 'sparks' she told me it was because she just got out of a relationship she didn't know if she should be in, and she wasn't sure if she wanted a relationship or something casual. Can anybody translate what that means.
Thanks Kings
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1y ago
READ THE SIDEBAR
This post is filled with blue pill behaviors. Finding her Facebook to message her, taking her to a fancy dinner, talking about nonsexual topics (doesn't need to be overt but you stuck to extremely platonic boring stuff), pushing after a rejection, wanting to get her to bake you a cake after being rejected.
What the actual fuk, this scarcity mindset is extreme
She's single. Single women are always looking or open to something with Chad. She was open to something from being on that date in the first place.
Read the sidebar, you badly need it
Then need rational male, your understanding of women is very underdeveloped
nicknack 1y ago
Even women in relationships / marriages will let you have them if you do it for them. Yet alone single ones
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1y ago
For sure
RuralDatingWoodsman 1y ago
Thanks. I was doing pretty good a few years ago but then years of relationships and moving to a small town I'm fucking retarded now. She set up the date and she paid so at least i'm up in the end?
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1y ago
Women paying for the whole date is usually a bad sign. Usually comes with rejecting a guy. Some of them insure themselves against having wasted your time and hopes. Also if the women pays for both you and her she usually doesn't view your financial situation very well. Some women who really like you will pay for everything but obviously that wasn't the case
RuralDatingWoodsman 1y ago
So, what about the kiss? I can get giving a kiss just to make sure the guy doesn't react poorly, but why would she come for another after I pull away? That was the end of the night too. It was easier for me to date when I was broke, lol.
Lone_Ranger 3 1y ago
She is banging someone else. Remember the golden rule: 'If she's not banging you, she's banging someone else'.
I think lots of guys just forget this - they are out of the prowl, hitting up lots of chicks, got lots of irons in the fire, trying to convert. When they convert, they go quiet on their other prospects. Why would it be any different for women? If a woman that was a prospect goes quiet on you, its because her mouth if full of some other dudes dick.
Not sure why you are so focused on this chick. She has signalled that she's not interested, pursuing is just looking beta AND creepy. That move you pulled with FB....that is terrible. Don't do that. That is spergy stalking.
move on and up my friend.
nicknack 1y ago
It is different though, very differnent. Women will keep talking to, dating and developing feelings for and with other people. Men slow this down with other people when they focus on one girl.
On the other hand, men will keep fucking other people, while women slow that part down when they focus on one guy.
Lone_Ranger 3 1y ago
that may be true - maybe not. But in OP's case -the girl is not interested. I am thinking thats because she's getting dick from somewhere else.
nicknack 1y ago
Well in Op’s case she can be getting her dick from that one guy, and just talking to / dating other guys guys including OP . Common thing I see.
mattyanon Admin 1y ago
Brutal truth time.
She isn't that attracted.
This means she wants to keep you in mind as an option after trying to find better.
fuck no
if you don't want to play these games, then don't play. She isn't that into you dude.
You have oneitis because you don't have enough good options.
She isn't that attracted. She sees you as ok, but is looking for more excitement. She'd like to keep you in mind as a beta provider for later if her other options don't pan out.
Sorry for the brutal truth, but now hopefully you know what to do.
nicknack 1y ago
Only genuinely spend energy on girls who have genuine burning desire for you. The other ones keep trying to get yourself a spin but it will fizzle out either on your terms or hers it doesn’t matte