The gist, I fucked my manager. This was months ago.
I made the mistake of goofing off and acted a bit sexual and flirty earlier. I didn't think it was going to blow up on me but it did.
I have screenshots of our conversation but she unsent all her messages and blocked me but I still have my end. The parts where I was confirming plans and telling her when, I even have the text still where I told her she left something at my place.
I don't really want to lose this job. My other manager knows I hooked up with her because i showed them WHY I was being flirty with her.
Basically I misunderstood things between the manager I fucked and myself, I didn't think this was going to go to shit.
How concerned should I be over some kind of case, first of all, and should I find out who the district manager is and send them the screen shots of the chat to try and save my ass?
Lone_Ranger 3 2y ago
Firstly, don't panic. You'll be fine.
It's actually your manager that should be worried, because she pressured you into a sexual relationship whilst you were reporting in to her. You felt pressured, and therefore you were not in a position to give consent freely. This means that you are now traumatised, and unable to get an erection because of the trauma. Which means that you are not going to be able to have children. Which is a direct result of your managers sexual assault.
Feeling better?
Joking. But seriously,
stop panicing. Firstly, why on earth would you get fired? Top tip: DO NOT send any screenshots of anything to anyone. 100% DO NOT do that.
If you are in any way actually worried about this, and you do want to keep your job - I would arrange a face to face with the manager that you slept with, but off site. And make sure that the convo is 'off the record'. And then ask her what's going on. Be friendly, but ask her whats up. If the manager is keen on ruining your life, tell her that you will take her down with you. Let her know that you have all the messages, and that you feel that she pressured you into a sexual relationship, and that if she wants to make waves, you're going straight to HR with a sexual assualt case.
You can SHOW messages to people, but do not SEND screenshots of anything to anyone.
DragonNuts 2y ago
I wrote "spank me" on a note and played like I was going to put it on her back.
For reference were both early 20s.
I didn't, but it must've ended up on the floor and got scooped up by the other manager.
I got accused of sexual harassment, and was told to leave, and so I told them that I was being flirty/stupid because we already fooled around.
The manager asked for screen shots. I only showed her the messages but haven't sent anything.
After I left, I tried talking to the one I fucked via text and she decided to unsent everything and blocked me. Says the other manager told her to.
I told the one who found the note everything because I figured it might help me out. I actually have no idea.
Maybe I didn't play this right and should've left the first time. I just assumed I was going to be fired over the note and "harassing her for months" which mustve been an observation on her part. I've been rather cold to the one I fucked because I figured nothing more was going to come of it and I didn't want to risk my job. Which is exactly what I did. It was foolish. I should've clean up my shit a bit before it ended up in someone's hands.
mattyanon Admin 2y ago
Oh boy.
The manager that asked for screenshots: don't send these, they'll only ever work against you. But agree a meeting in which you'll show her on your phone. Claim privacy as the reason for not sending screenshots, but do meet and do show proof.
Yeah, it's new job time.
You done fucked up boy.
Lone_Ranger 3 2y ago
Don't see why. If he really wants to keep this job, then there are few things he can do. For one, he can go straight to HR and say that he wants to make a complaint for sexual harassment.
He can just say that he was pressured into a sexual relationship by his direct report. And that he is now suffering from sexual bullying. I would 100% do that. They have to file these complaints, and when their insurer asks them, they have to reveal all outstanding complaints.
If past history is anything to go by, the actual liability of his company will arise from the mishandling of his complaint. Because they will 100% mishandle his complaint - because HR people are the most retarded people you will ever meet, with a healthy dose of radical feminism and misandry.
The outstanding complaint will give him options.
1) He can choose to pursue, and get a payout. 2) he can use it for leverage - he can agree to drop it if they drop their stupid campaign against him.
the one thing to not do is role over like a pussy and just take it.
mattyanon Admin 2y ago
Sure, but noone takes you seriously as a man.
Tricky - she'll have screenshots/logs too if necessary, and most people will believe the woman.
I mean, it's worth a shot...... BUT...... women are crazy vindictive and she's his manager. I can't see it being a place worth working at after that.
Counting on mishandling of the case is a cunning move.
It's not worth it. Just find a better job and next time listen to TRP.
Gilles 2y ago
Just going to chip in here - I'm not from the US and I don't know the culture. But considering he is the "victim" here, and his manager was the one in power, couldn't he legally sue her and the company if it came to termination og him and not the manager? In which case he has the stronger hand and is more likely to keep his job
mattyanon Admin 2y ago
Sure, and the easter bunny is real, noone gets divorced, women never cheat.
The world is simply unfair and unequal to men, especially the legal system.
Lone_Ranger 3 2y ago
"Counting on mishandling of the case is a cunning move."
Oh they will mishandle it alright. HR people are barely able to chew gum. It's the most retarded I have ever seen people absent a full blown case of downs syndrome.
mattyanon Admin 2y ago
Yeah, it's not worth the misery and stress of sticking around though.
Lone_Ranger 3 2y ago
Not sure. Stand and fight for what you believe in.
[deleted] 2y ago
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User4566 2y ago
I think she’d also get in trouble so if you play it cool, you’ll be fine.
mattyanon Admin 2y ago
I hope he was gentle with you.
Seriously though :)
This is why we tell you to not shit where you eat.
Ok.
A legal case (ie rape) is unlikely. She's the manager, you're the employee.
Most likely she'll try and get you fired or otherwise make life miserable for you.
You are now risking her reputation (women try to hide prior sexual activity), and you have no other social benefit to her, so sadly this will make her opposed to you being around. Briffault's law and all that.
No.
Don't stir things up if they aren't already, because this won't prove much and won't save your ass.
Make a file and keep all copies of all evidence you have. Also write down a complete account of EVERYTHING that happened. Timelines, convos, conversations. Include dates and times where possible. You'll forget details and dates in future and while it's unlikely you'll need these things, this will really help you later if you need it.
After that start looking for a new job, and meanwhile do nothing unless something is actually going on or happening at the moment.
Acela_nextel 2y ago
How hot was she tho