I want to like stuff about women other than their body/demeanor. I want there to be an emotional connection before I fuck. I think this makes the girl more special to me, which means more satisfaction, pleasure and maybe meaning for me. Am I BP?
RP guys seem to only care about fucking women without caring to like who they are because women are like human vassals with no ideas/emotions of their own, which I get, but women aren't TOO different from men. So if you're one of those RP guys, are you satisfied? If you're satisfied, why? Maybe you live in a feminism dominated shithole and the best you can achieve is a great sex life with nothing else and that's why you're satisfied? If not that, why?
Vermillion-Rx Admin 2y ago Stickied
This is not a an accurate representation of RP. It is a man's job to get sex, it is the woman's job to get a relationship, but nowhere in RP does it say men to ONLY like SEX
Read the sidebar and rational male already. Tell me you didn't read either without telling me you didn't read either.
Do the ground work
MrSupreme 2y ago
Game never stops.The red pill has no such narrow scope as being just for getting laid. RP helps a bunch to get out of the sexual market gutter and get laid,true that. But there is still game and red pill for long term relationships and marriage. It is actually tougher to maintain a stable ,healthy relationship if that is what you wish, there is the married redpill subreddit and other books for learning.
Impressive-Cricket-8 2y ago
Hating women is probably black pill (or something else, I'm not too aware of the pills' rainbow). I don't think anybody sane hates women from being women. The red pill, at least from my point of view, could be summarised in two points:
Women are not special. They're not goddesses, princesses, ladies in distress, the solution to your life problems, the antidote to loneliness, or anything like that. They're just people - so don't idealise them, don't put them above yourself, don't treat them like you need them (because you don't).
So, there's nothing wrong with liking women, or one particular woman. Just don't lose sight of what is really important in life. A good woman is an addition to your life, not the main point of it - very much like the potatoes are an addition to a nice steak, but not the main point of the meal. So, if the potato is not working for you, don't lose your mind over it - find some other potato, or spaghetti, or vegetables, or whatever.
[deleted] 2y ago
[--removed--]
Impressive-Cricket-8 2y ago
I'd have to know you to offer some proper feedback, but the thing is: don't offer to other people what you haven't offered yourself yet. You have some extra money? Treat yourself before thinking about considering something for her. You have a free day? Do the things that are important to you instead of what would be helpful to her.
While a woman can be part of a family, she's not the family itself. You too are part of said family and, if things don't work out, you have to worry about yourself (and maybe the kids), but not her anymore.
If you're bored with existence itself, if you don't find pleasure in life, if you don't care about much... Besides depression, this ennui could be plain ol' loneliness. But being alone shouldn't be boring - you should barely register that you're alone. You should be busy doing your own things, creating stuff, reading what you like to read, listening to music you like to listen, working on your purpose.
A good woman will maybe offer you some nice down time for when you need to recharge your batteries, but many (most, probably) will drain you instead. They'll want attention whenever they're bored (and not care about you when they're doing their stuff), they'll want to go meet Becky and her new boyfriend in that trendy new pub, they have to check that restaurant that all her girlfriends are talking about, and so on. Dating the wrong girl is like having a job where you're the one paying to work.
[deleted] 2y ago
[--removed--]
Impressive-Cricket-8 2y ago
I get your point, but what I said was hating women. There's a bunch of people I dislike for different reasons, but I simply don't bother with them and try to keep my distance. If they were to change, maybe I would not dislike them - I wouldn't be disliking them from just being. So, I don't hate women.
And while I don't like a lot about them, I also try to separate the individuals from the group, assessing how much of the group's issues are part of said individual. A lot of women live for the group - some more, some less. I prefer the ones that are on the less side.
[deleted] 2y ago
[--removed--]
EurasianChad 1 2y ago
Lol the plates I favor the most are the sweeter ones. Nothing wrong with wanting to actually like a girl before smashing, it's only wrong if you develop feelings to the point that you think she's a special snowflake and start acting beta.
[deleted] 2y ago
[--removed--]
EurasianChad 1 2y ago
She ain't special bro. She just has favorable characteristics. Keep yourself as the priority and you'll never act beta. Always be willing to walk away.
You need to have experience with different kinds of women over a period of time to ingrain this in your head. If you don't have a lot of experiencee dating/fucking/meeting women, then stop theorizing and just keep trying new flavors.
[deleted] 2y ago
[--removed--]
Hugo_The_Great 2y ago
He gets it dude.
Of course he spends more time with the plates he likes and is compatible with versus the ones that are just hot.
We're just pointing out that it's a slippery slope to become too attached to liking her... you go from liking, to thinking she's special, to pedestalizing her, to becoming a simp, and then things inevitably fall apart.
EurasianChad 1 2y ago
You don't get it.
Desire without attachment.
[deleted] 2y ago
[--removed--]
EurasianChad 1 2y ago
Nah dude those are extremes.
How can you attach yourself to things that may be lost through some outside external force? This is whats promoted in buddhism and I'm no monk, but this is how they have such strong internal strength.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 2y ago
Read rational male and sidebar already. You do not understand the basics concepts you're posting about. This would be answered in both readings, which you have not done.
[deleted] 2y ago
[--removed--]
Vermillion-Rx Admin 2y ago
For starters, thinking TRP is only about sex. Having a reductionist view of TRP to the point of near completely misrepresenting TRP in your post body.
Not understanding most of sexual strategy is also inner game. Thinking of you just don't tell her how special she is she won't notice how special you view her. You're putting the cart before the horse.
Your other posting history, which has not had good reception, I high indication someone seriously doesn't understand RP. Like the fucking moms post
I'm not going to point to a part of it, read the whole book and the whole sidebar. It would answer 90% of the posts you've been making, which have been excessive and full of hamstering.
You should reacquaint yourself with TRPs roots so that you can better understand these things. You are asking very basic RP questions for some very basic RP tennets
alfon335 2y ago
I think most guys (myself included) seek emotional, more meaningful connection with a woman. Thing is, you just have to realize that women are not wired to love you in the same way.
A woman (an unbroken one) may even be more loyal than a man, but that loyalty is conditional (as opposed to us loving idealistically). It is conditional on your external success (looks, status, character, charisma) and also your emotional state. You need to be internally happy with yourself as you are. Others call it “abundance mindset”. You don’t need women for it, just be 100% sure and happy by your own.
You can definitely enjoy such a connection but it should not come from a place of neediness. If you are in the right state of mind, you will be able to find the right woman, vet properly and build emotional attachment. If you find the right woman, you will be able to connect and enjoy each other. Just don’t seek motherly love.
Regarding being assholes and fucking many women:
I, for myself, when first having sex with a given girl DGAF at all. Maybe with time you get desensitized to sex and not attach as quickly. You don’t fully go in like a douchebag, if you don’t feel like it (although there are some guys like that, but to each their own, and I also have made such mistakes). But just allow the woman show you that she’s worth it and don’t idealize someone you don’t know. And you definitely don’t know a person well unless you fuck many times and spend lots of time. Why waste emotions and idealize a potential hoe? And these days most of them are hoes. But while you should be cautious and let them disqualify themselves, I still say treat them with respect, in that regard we are all human.
[deleted] 2y ago
[--removed--]
alfon335 2y ago
Yeah, I sense the needy part here already in your words. Feeling liked is always nice of course, as in feeling desired (you get external validation and feel better about yourself). But you should not count on it or place your happiness upon it. It is great to feel loved but don’t seek it.
What happens if you are not liked all of a sudden? Become depressed?
That’s why I said you first and foremost need to be happy and confident 100% in yourself, and everything else comes as a bonus. A good woman WILL amplify your happiness, but if she goes away, you still know that you are the shit. That’s what TRP is all about.
Regarding successful, I agree. There are different ways to play the game depending on your goals, either base yourself on success and hypergamy, but that’s sort of beta game, or you can be as attractive as you can and be witty/seducing/masculine (learn game). Learn game and in turn you will feel natural. I just listed the ways you will be liked for, and the thing is that in order to succeed and outcompete other guys, you have to be competent in as many things as you can.
I think the best thing to be liked for is for your personality/charisma/frame/game. But it will also take time and failures to build it.
And it’s good you don’t disclose your success. Let them find out. They will appreciate it much more.
[deleted] 2y ago
[--removed--]
alfon335 2y ago
Ok, I get it. So you mean you like the feeling of falling in love. The so called “oneitis”.
True, it is one of the best feelings to have BUT also super dangerous. It’s playing with fire as it blinds you to potential red flags. That’s why super important - 2 things:
1st: make sure you don’t catch oneitis too easily. This is BP. Don’t pedestalize the girl for her looks. Make sure she is worth it, and it should happen only after a long period of vetting. Make sure you are her oneitis first.
Golden rule of TRP: always be less emotionally invested than the girl you want/are seeing.
Others would say don’t catch feelings at all. But I disagree, leading to:
2nd: make sure you still respect yourself as a person and put yourself first. If your principles/standards are violated (those that you had for yourself or the girl before you fell in love), you walk away. Accept pain earlier and walk away like a man because it is inevitable anyway if the boundaries are crossed. It’s hard but that’s life as a man. Never compromise.
ALWAYS PUT SELF-RESPECT FIRST
I think most guys avoid catching oneitis like the plague because of the potential fallout on their mental health if things go wrong. I can relate. But if the girl is the right one (even for the time being), I think it can help you achieve your goals, and be better not only for yourself but also for her. It gives life more meaning.
But you should still work for yourself first and foremost and not rely on any mediums as you say. So even if it does go wrong, you don’t lose yourself. And always put yourself first. You both will be happier.
ALSO
Regarding game comment. Please note that the game never stops. It’s not about getting the girl. Never get complacent. It’s all about the game and stimulating emotions. Make it fun for yourself, so that it’s not something you do to get the girl, but rather something that makes it a fun, enjoyable experience for both of you, no matter how long in your relationship you are.
[deleted] 2y ago
[--removed--]
alfon335 2y ago
Long period for vetting I’d say at least like 2-3 months. Others go for extremes, like 6months+, but I see you are a younger guy, so don’t worry. It doesn’t have to be an exact period. Enough time to understand her day-to-day, hobbies, behaviours, notice red flags (maybe goes out with slutty friends for eg).
Regarding oneitis, you will know. You will see her genuine desire for you, she will do things for you, reach out, plan dates, always be available for you, her eyes will sparkle when she sees you.
[deleted] 2y ago
[--removed--]
[deleted] 2y ago
[--removed--]
[deleted] 2y ago
[--removed--]
[deleted] 2y ago
[--removed--]
[deleted] 2y ago
[--removed--]
[deleted] 2y ago
[--removed--]
[deleted] 2y ago
[--removed--]
[deleted] 2y ago
[--removed--]
No-Stress-Cat 2y ago
Who let the fembot in?
Hugo_The_Great 2y ago
If you only like her for her body & sex, it's probably not going to last too long. Because you'll notice that drains energy compared to when you actually like a girl and enjoy spending time with her.
It's not BP to like a girl and see that you're compatible in terms of personality and values. It's BP to think that she's 'special' in some way, like having better morals etc and consequently putting her on a pedestal.
All women are like that. It's just your turn.