Not tryna come off as tooting my own horn here, but recently I've been going out with this chick who's an absolute smoke show, the hottest girl looks wise I've ever been with. She's not ltr material though and its clear that this fling has a very limited timeframe.
Occasionally I post on my instagram stories or whatever when I'm out with a girl knowing in the back of my mind that it acts as pre selection as well, but with this situation Im conflicted. I'm not sure whether a girl this hot is the ultimate pre selection, or too hot that she'll just discourage other girls from even trying to get with me.
To be clear, the pre selection is always to get new girls interest, and to reignite interest with old flames who drifted away from me for whatever reason. If an ex plate or fwb sees this would they be liable to just think 'this girls 10x hotter than I am, he'll just pump and dump me again', or do you guys still think it increases their attraction toward me?
EurasianChad 1 1y ago
Depends on their self esteem. High self esteem women will probably see it as competition, while lower self esteem women may feel like your attainability is too low. Shy girls will definitely shy away. Girls who know they're hot will not.
A sticking point I used to have was showing too much high value and attractive behavior but not enough attainability, which leads to auto-rejection.
Imagine this example: a 6.5/10 girl being approached by a Brad Pitt looking motherfucker with impeccable social skills and frame. That girl in the example will be so intimidated & insecure if you don't make her feel comfortable/make yourself a little more attainable.
If you have several markers of high value, pre-selection being one of them (+ good looks, confidence, ripped/jacked, high status & $$$), you can best bet the girl sees you as a catch. So I'd lessen the teasing and focus more on making her feel like you're attainable. Maybe admit a time where you felt weak, but overcame it. Show you're human. Seriously lol. Girl has to feel you're attainable + attractive for her to see it as a possibility. Just makes things so much easier and takes nothing besides a little social skills to pick up on these things.
But I'm getting ahead of myself with that point. To get back, you really lose nothing by doing this. Just don't make it seem so obvious what you're doing and you'll be fine, but hey, even dudes like bilzerian openly post hoes surrounding him and it works out well.
Overall pre-selection is the highest indicator of high value in terms of sleeping with women. You could be broke, fat, and ugly. But if girls see other hot girls like you, you will be slaying it. Its that powerful.
scranglo 1y ago
thanks, I believe that Ive fucked up with plates in the past from exactly what youre saying, acting too robot in a way, thats why I was second guessing thee pre selection thing cause I felt like if would scare them off. Just as a side note, do you believe that preselection on social media is just as powerful as pre selection in real life? Because Ive always felt that social media didnt do much compared to irl pre selection.
EurasianChad 1 1y ago
2 ways you can handle it:
Make yourself more attainable with great social intuition/maneuvering
I personally like shy women as they're more LTR worthy and just more feminine in general. They also seem to be better at deep diving and following deeper conversations if they're also intelligent. So I play it the first way.
As for your question on pre-selection on social media/real life: both work, but the real deal is the real deal. Its like seeing a replay of a concert vs. being there and experiencing the energy. No comparison but you can still appreciate its significance.
Hugo_The_Great 1y ago
Ehh I don't agree, unless we're talking about outlier girls who are super low confidence.
Basically, you're arguing that if the SMV discrepancy is too high, a girl will feel too insecure around you. 1) That might be the case, but a lot of them will still try to fuck you because the validation outweighs the insecurity. They usually fuck guys who rank 1-2 points above them on the SMP, so why would 3 all of a sudden cause them to 404 error. They'd have to be super ultra insecure, either because of shit self-esteem or because you're dating girls who are too ugly for you, which brings us to #2. 2) Why are you, as a guy, trying to bang 6s if you're a 9 or even a 10? The Brad Pitt example you used, or a similar discrepancy, just has way too low probability of occurring IRL for us to theorize about such a scenario imo.
I highly doubt there is more than a handful of guys here who are truly the 'whole package' 10/10s, from looks and money to frame and social skills/game. Again, if you are, you're never going to be worrying about 'Will this 6/10 chick think I'm unattainable?'.
So @OP, This post is admitting you're not on that level where you can reliably get the girls of the same SMV as you're with currently, or you would've never asked this question. Dw about lower SMV girls thinking you're unattainable. You're not. Not yet, at least. Keep improving.
EurasianChad 1 1y ago
Fair enough you disagree but these things do happen. I've seen and experienced it myself. You're reading too deeply into looks, I'm talking about just having multiple markers of high value that yes, may include looks. 3-4 of any of the following: good looks, big muscles, high confidence, good social skills/charisma, tons of money, high status, excellent posture, dominance, pre selection, etc. = high perceived value.
And even if you do look so deeply into just looks, men are no strangers to dating below their smv, and ESPECIALLY no stranger to fucking women below us in smv. We are not hypergamous like women. We do date across and below in the socio-economic heirarchy.
Ever notice how some girls will yap and yap about how x-guy is a fuckboy and won't date him? Its not because she's not attracted, it's because she thinks he won't take her seriously. Many girls are insecure and won't sleep with you/will be wary if you have this reputation especially if they're looking for a relationship, why? Because of your attainability. Attractiveness high, attainability low.
There's no way you haven't seen this as a thing if you've been observing.
So yes bro. If you're way higher smv than a girl and you're showing insane levels of confidence and DGAF mentality, busting her balls, ruthlessly qualifying her, ruthlessly teasing, do you not think she will see you as unattainable? Some men seem to think women have it all figured out and don't get nervous around men they absolutely like, or are not worried about guys just pumping and dumping them.
EurasianChad 1 1y ago
One more thing I'd like to add: these things are good quality problems that majority of men don't have to worry about.
Last thing: If they girl is really a fucking whore then it wont really matter.
Hugo_The_Great 1y ago
I can see your point, though, and your advice will probably benefit me in the future.
I agree that your argument is about attainability is solid if she's looking for an LTR.
My point of contention is that if she gets very anxious, it's either because you as a guy are setting the bar too low by showing interest in women 2+ points below you in SMV ranking (again, you shouldn't do that, it's called complacency, and then you run into the issue we're discussing), or because she has ultra low confidence.
Or maybe I just haven't fully realized how desirable and rare HVM are to women, and that even if they are somewhat on the same level, the girl still gets anxious due to a lack of experience of being around men like that. Yet I also struggle to make that a general rule, because the top tier women I know hang in the same social circles as the top tier men. The high SMV introvert woman that stays inside and doesn't socialize with top tier guys sounds like a unicorn to me.
Some general guidelines, maybe you have more?;
EurasianChad 1 1y ago
Yeah model tier women probably hang around either good looking/confident dudes, or just high status alpha type men in general. So they won't be nervous, and some will share you with many others if it means more benefit to their lifestyle/fun & just made her feel drama or emotional in some way.
I always take girls being nervous when first meeting you for a date, etc. as a good sign. It means she cares about your opinion & doesn't wanna fuck it up, or maybe just has social anxiety but either way, submissive feminine behaviour. A girl that's too confident is a red flag - probably because she is promiscuous/sleeps with a lot of men of your caliber.
The list of general guidelines is good, I'd add is to put emphasis on qualifying her for traits you do like, so you can use her personality traits as the "pull" lever, putting it into her mind that you like her for traits other than her looks (just liking her looks means you'll probably just wanna fuck her - and is also a low value way of screening).
Lone_Ranger 2 1y ago
Short answer = No.
Women are insanely deluded about their SMV. Insane. There is no such thing as too much social proof. Your question hints at the possibility that you don't fully understand women.
I've heard other guys on this platform ask similar questions such as,
The answer to all these question is 'of course not'. Very average looking women think that they deserve Brad Pitt. I don't think you realise how insane women are. they all think that they are gods gift. They hang around outside celebrities houses, and they think that the celebs are going to spot them in the crowd, and say - 'hey you, the normy girl, the slightly tubby one, in sweatshirt and yoga pants, lets get married'.
Gilles 1y ago
Your point is valid and many women have an inflated sense of their market value. However, some women can become anxious if you're very high value. Again, it comes down to the women's ego and self-esteem.
Lone_Ranger 2 1y ago
I don't see it. I never see it in the wild. All I see in the wild is normie average women thinking they are perfect 10s. I have simply never seen a woman that is put off by a guy because he is 'too high value'.
If a woman 'become anxious' you have a much greater chance of getting into her pants. This the reason why PUA's recommend negging. A woman that is anxious and has feelings of inadequacy is much much easier to pick up.
Lone_Ranger 2 1y ago
In terms of understanding female behaviour, the giant leap forward for men is when they stop using the 'expected reciprocity' approach.
Simply put, the majority of men (and in particular young men) think that women work the way they work. They think that women prefer nice guys, because they themselves prefer nice girls. They think that women will prefer fidelity, because we prefer women that are faithful (when what women really like are man-sluts). Men think that women are able to correctly guess their own SMV, because men are able to correctly guess their own SMV.
The key to understanding women is to realise that they simply do not think and behave how we think and behave. For example, We like women that have low body counts, they HATE men that low body counts. The biggest insult a woman can throw at a man is 'virgin' or 'incel'. Men have fought wars over access to virgins.
We are not the same. Stop expecting women to think and behave as we do.