So there was a chick in my home-town gym who would constantly make eye contact with me. Didn’t make a move because I was heading to university soon when she started going. Fast forward a few months, I see the exact chick at the exact gym on my exact campus. Small world, right?
Anyways, I remember she gawked at me the first time I saw her in the college gym but I didn’t recognize her until later on. I have problems with looking at girls in the eyes when they look at me. Then, I saw her again after halloweekend at the gym but I was feeling sick after partying and I thought I could pull through. I got the most choosing signals ever, she was with one friend only (remember that, it’s sort of important). Her friend came over to her and they did that childish whispering to themselves while cuffing their mouths. More glances at me. She even walked right in front of my when I was benching and started working out in front of me. But again, I was feeling sick and left afterward. I fucked up, I KNOW THAT.
Today, I see her in the gym but she’s with 2 other girls in their group and they’re working together and chatting away. I didn’t get many choosing signals from her, but her friends looked at me a few times. Whatever. I was thinking about going up and approaching them and asking if she was from my hometown gym and blah blah blah since she already gave me crazy signals before, but I thought maybe now wasn’t the time since she was in her group of friends and not working out with just one friend who would actually leave her alone to do her own thing, hence why she started working out in front of me alone.
I didn’t want to introduce myself to her while her friends (not really as hot as her) would fuck up my approach by acting like I’m a weirdo. If I saw her again on her own (it happens) then I WILL 100% approach. Thoughts?
ObliviousDuck 2y ago
"I don't feel well today" "She's with friends" "I don't want to bother her" "We are in a gym" "I'm not ready to approach yet" "I need a good reason to approach" "I don't have the right haircut"
You are waiting for the perfect moment and it will never come, because what is making "right now" not being the perfect moment is yourself. Not the situation.
Your brain is manufacturing reasons to not approach. This way you can avoid potential rejection and blame external factors for your lack of courage.
Dude you should have approached her the second she sent you those fuck me eyes. You missed an even greater opportunity when the universe sent her to the same fucking gym in a different town and she started twerking in your face.
I feel like she could literally get on her knees and suck your dick right now and you'd still be asking yourself if you are bothering her.
But then you could be wrong. Maybe she was sending false signals. Maybe her interest is all in your head. But guess what, there is no way to select her unless you fucking talk to her.
Next time a girl fucks you with her eyes, just say "Hi, my name is such". Is this the best line in the world? No. But if the girl is interested she will do all the work for you because she's rooting for you to seduce her. If not, you just saved yourself months of gawking and asking yourself if she's interested.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 2y ago
OP @User4566 when nearly every dude on your posts telling you the same thing maybe you should consider that's the actual problem and not whatever random excuse you want confirmation biased in your post(s)
User4566 2y ago
Ok. I’ll refer to these posts in the future instead.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 2y ago
Just trying to help man. You keep inventing irrelevant reasons for your problems and not confronting the actual issues you actually have
User4566 2y ago
I get it. I’ve been a massive pain in the ass lately, I’ll try my best to contain myself.
[deleted] 2y ago
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Vermillion-Rx Admin 2y ago
This is entirely the wrong attitude about approaching and not how this works. You've gotta fix your inner game and understanding of how people even react to dudes approaching a lot more than you do trying to figure out this other stuff
You're not confident enough to approach this group and don't think you can entertain a group. That's a far more pertinent issue than anything else you wrote about. Change your attitude before you do any more approaches, you're only hurting yourself by not addressing your underlying issues here.
User4566 2y ago
It’s the gym. Not the best spot to be approaching in my experience. Not to mention, I’m not too experienced with approaching groups of girls which is why I’m asking.
Yes. Which is why I’m asking this question.
Ok, let me be blunt with you: the attitude I have right now is if I approach a group of chicks at the gym when they are having their own little gym session, they will see it as me invading their bubble especially when they are in the middle of a workout and conversation. It was a much different scenario when it was just her giving me choosing signals, now that she’s in a group she didn’t give me any choosing signals (at least I wasn’t checking too much but whatever). Not to mention, I cut my hair to a medium length and shaved my beard. Sort of anxious about how the new look might be perceived. I like it, maybe she doesn’t.
The only underlying issue here is that I just felt it wasn’t the right time to approach. I didn’t get any choosing signals and she was in a group at the gym.
EurasianChad 1 2y ago
This is my gym game and it works perfectly because its socially smooth:
Make eye contact with attractive women, smile and nod up. Maybe a "hey how you doing" while walking passed. Then next time you see her doing something, comment on her form or whatever. A funny one I do is "I noticed how you're doing squats and it the form is pretty funny. Is that how you normally do them?". This always gets them intrigued as to how they're doing they're squats, as girls you know are more socially conscious & care about what others think. Always slight smile man so you don't come across creepy or like you're too serious. This might work favorably for me because I'm usually one of the most ripped dudes in the gym so I obviously look like I know what I'm doing.
For a group: "Great job guys" with thumbs up. While passing. I also do this with anyone actually doing something impressive, a little passing compliment. Just play it like you're a gym trainer who works there, or some kind of motivational guy who's trying to bring others up. Its pretty easy if you give yourself permission to do so.
An element of being social is just being able to say random shit to random people & not caring how they react to you. Don't be autistic about it, but just do it. If you're american this is normal behaviour anyway, in my current country of residence its sometimes seen as out of the norm because it is. But hey, people say I'm a friendly dude, and the ones that think I'm weird, well, they're the weird ones for being anti-social. If they "reject" you with anything weird, just say "haha alright have a good day".
EurasianChad 1 2y ago
To add: I called it out in the other thread. You gotta work on your inner game bro, you seem to be lacking a lot of belief and "entitlement" so to speak. You need to be a ballsy mother fucker to do these things. Walk in like they already like you, and they will prove you wrong if need be. You can do this in a socially calibrated way and it'll just seem like you're extremely confident and outgoing.
Acela_nextel 2y ago
It’s important to note any of this shit will only work if you’re already attractive
EurasianChad 1 2y ago
Yeah so get your fashion/beard/hair/skin/fitness game right. This isn't a blackpill forum
Acela_nextel 2y ago
There is truth to the Blackpill though.
User4566 2y ago
Black pill says you need to be 6’4” to pull chicks and I still get rejected.
EurasianChad 1 2y ago
Yes but the emphasis is heavily on looks, which simply isn't grounded in reality.
Acela_nextel 2y ago
That’s ironic coming from a self-proclaimed male model who’s dated actual models
EurasianChad 1 2y ago
you can be a good looking guy with 0 self confidence, huge need for external validation and approval, and come across as super needy. There are ways to fuck up and it aint as uncommon as you think.
If you want to justify the black pill, you'll look for all reasons why its only looks. Good looks helps, it gets you in the door & you receive much more choosing signals, women react to you favorably at the start. How you carry yourself after matters to utmost importance, more important than the looks. And yes women will sleep with you purely for your looks, but those are usually 3 or so points down the SMV scale to put it simply, or just got out of a relationship, etc.
If you give a guy with average mindset 2 lives, one chad, one not chad, the chad will get laid more. But you can implant those same average looks on a guy with insane self belief and social skills and he'll do better than average mindset chad.