So I have been part of many different religious communities over the years. And one thing I have noticed, regardless of the religion, is that there are a hell lot of leftover women all over the place in these communities.
These were women who had drank equality Kool-aid in their younger years but now they are in their 40s and 50s, all alone and leftover.
There was this woman I knew. She is now completely alone in her home, without any close family of sorts. Only her mother was alive, who had also recently passed away after a battle with cancer. Of course, her mental health is fucked mostly but at least she is doing okayish in her work and has the support of other leftover women from the religious community.
Another was a Gender Studies professor (yeah, I know). Textbook nutcase, of course; blaming the patriarchy and all. But in reality, behind all her pride and delusions, she was also living in suffering and generally living a very shitty life. Of course, she was also a leftover. She was supporting her aging and sick parents all alone; her real brother had abandoned her and the parents (a very rare case in Asian/Indian families). It’s a tough life as you can see.
Of course, now I see women my age. Girls in their teens and twenties making the same mistakes, moving towards similar ends in the future.
Knowing this all, it makes me feel bad when I see them acting against their own interests. Of course, I don’t act like a retard and start spilling them life-advice or something, but I just can’t game them as easily as I otherwise would have.
Clearly, either something is wrong with me, or I’m not cut out for this lifestyle because of my attitude here. As pathetic as this will sound, I was almost considering LTRing an older leftover woman from one of this place I used to hangout at. The leader of this religious place, a generally nice 70+ man had initially suggested me to do that. Her personality was okayish, there was mutual attraction, but I just somehow stopped myself from going ahead with it.
Anyways, knowing these women personally and their shitty lives is effecting my actions towards them. My question is how do I stop feeling sympathetic to them, inspite of knowing their shitty histories and their eventual disappointing ends?
I need some kind of guide or step-by-step method for this.
Problematic_Browser 1 1y ago
Why care about a group of people who would step over you if you were dying on the street?
mattyanon Admin 1y ago
These are women who have had zero sympathy for men not in the top 10%.
These are women who have had every opportunity in life that men have had, AND MORE besides.
Women have an excess of privilege.
If you want to feel sorry for and help anyone then help young men - they need it and can benefit from your help and support. Women have everything handed to them on a plate and if they still fuck it up, that's as much your problem as a homeless drug addict, but I don't see you wanting to support them.
Lone_Ranger 2 1y ago
You're spot on Matty, as usual - except one bit....
"These are women who have had zero sympathy for men not in the top 0.5%"
I 100% agree with your instruction - if you want to do some good in the world, don't be a save a hoe. Instead, do something for young men. Don't know what that might be - maybe mentoring? or volunteering? I don't know.
mattyanon Admin 1y ago
Solid posts/replies on here isn't a bad start.
TRPDuryodhana 1y ago
All good points, thanks. I agree. I'll try to keep them in mind.
I don't want to support these women, of course; that's why the question. But as I said above in the question, I can't game them as I can see their future ends; there's a mental/emotional block of sorts. It almost feels like punching down the weak/retarted guy from the class.
In case of beta/homeless men, I'm not trying to game them or sell them drugs of something. In case of these women, though, it just feels wrong to game them. It's like I'm fucking up the mind of some foolish kid; and boy, most of these women really are like foolish/bratty kids.
mattyanon Admin 1y ago
You're not contributing to the end result.
It's not like if you don't fuck them they'll magically make awesome life choices and be happily married and loyal all of a sudden.
You're enjoying a time with them.
Do it right and you'll make their life BETTER after you've been with them for a while.
Why?
Because you're the most attractive man ever and she'll be permanently alpha widowed after a night with you? Come on dude, your impact on other people is probably not as big as you think it is.
TRPDuryodhana 1y ago
So if I pump and dump a chick, her bad emotional/psychological state (however minuscule) is not on me?
In real time, that's not what happens though; sure they forget about you over time, but in the moment you can see their anxiety when you withdraw your attention, game other chicks in front of them, etc.
Although it's not like I've put a gun to their head--they are doing out of their own volition--but for some reason I see myself being responsible for hurting em; maybe it's the some unconscious leftover feminist propaganda or my own religious programming. Whatever it is, it is holding me back in this sphere big time.
mattyanon Admin 1y ago
Not if you are honest about it and are somewhat decent in your approach.
Ok...
Be honest, be fair, and beyond that you need to recognise that it isn't all on you or all on men: women often go into situations knowing they'll be fucked up by them, and do it anyway. That's not our fault.
ObliviousDuck 1y ago
You are talking like women are those pure, fragile little things that you soil with your masculinity.
Stop pedestalizing them and start treating them like normal human beings with needs, agenda and responsibilities.
Lone_Ranger 2 1y ago
I think you need to distance yourself straight away from this religious cult, where the leader of the cult is trying to set you up with leftover women.
None of this is in your interests. When you act as Captain Save-a-hoe, you are picking up the pieces of other peoples problems. You will not even be doing this leftover hoes any favours - you will be just perpetuating the myth that they will be able to find a good guy 'and settle down' when they are older.
If you feel sorry for these women, then the right thing to do would be to focus on public awareness. Organise a program where these women can do a lecture tour of schools, to tell younger women that its important not to leave it too late - that its impossible to 'have it all' and that rejecting men for marriage in their early 20s leads to a life alone in their 40s and 50s, which is miserable and depressing.
awareness is the key.
TRPDuryodhana 1y ago
I am already distanced, sure. Nor am I going to LTR or wife up some leftover woman.
I am also not interested in saving them through these programs; most of them still think they did nothing wrong. Why would they? They are still egged on by their religious ministry, their office feminists, their families, and larger culture, who support eQUaliTy! Since they don't think they did anything wrong, why would they accept or lecture young women about the drawbacks of hoeing?
However, as a redpill outsider, its hard not to see the rot, delusion and pointless misery spread around because of all this degeneracy.
Though when I make it big, I do have interest in setting up something like this: https://ifstudies.org/
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1y ago
Why do you need a guide to stop investing so much in women that don't contribute much to your life to begin with? Those women don't even to contribute much good to their own life even. They are not going to take your advice or help anyway if you have sympathy
TRPDuryodhana 1y ago
Checkout this article from Darlock. Although I'm a Buddhist, I still resonated with parts of this article a lot:
https://dalrock.wordpress.com/2013/03/15/single-mothers-and-the-failure-of-christian-men-it-is-time-to-man-up/
TRPDuryodhana 1y ago
It's automatic.
As you get to know the person, it's kind of hard to ignore how they have fucked up their life, right? Of course, I'm not retarted enough to actually become their savior or something, but it's hard not to see their shitty conditions.
EurasianChad 1 1y ago
Theres a difference between objectively seeing someones shit life situation, and actually caring about it.
You can identify their situation is shit. Shoot them a quick solution, and then let the chips fall where it may. You don't have to be mr. therapist.
EurasianChad 1 1y ago
Some people tend to give a fuck about things they shouldn't be caring about.
Focus on your own life. Some people say I lack empathy but in reality, I think they have too much free time & care too much. If you're trying to make a dent in this world/you have a purpose for your life, you won't give one single fuck about what you just described.
Get on your mission & discard anything that doesn't align with it. Let some other beta placate to women who don't give a fuck about him.
JamesSkepp Moderator 1y ago
I get you and I get where you're coming from. That being said, as far as gaming them goes - they still want and enjoy sex. She will want sex regardless of whether she made mistakes by her own volition or just b/c of happenstance. She doesn't want your sympathy, she wants sex.
If you need absolution: don't feel bad about not captn-save-a-hoeing them, they have plenty of orbiters to choose from.
TRPDuryodhana 1y ago
It's not about being captain save-a-hoe. It feels like punching down on the weak/retarted guy from the class.
You said they like sex, that's true. But unrestrained sex/relationships is most defo. not good for most women. I guess a better analogy would be it's like selling drugs to a junkie. These women are junkies for men that demonstrate redpill frame, plain and simple. Knowing this all, I feel a block in gaming in them; that I'm the one who's playing his part in fucking with the head of this chick.
That's why hookers are so different. They, or at least most of the ones I've interacted with, are not naive and know exactly what they are getting into. The 'normal' women, on the other hand, are almost like infantiles (This isn't to say they are pure angle or something, but from a long-term practical/wisdom standpoint, they are nuking their lives by playing games with an 'alpha' guy).
JamesSkepp Moderator 1y ago
That's part of Captn-Save-a-Hoe.
TRPDuryodhana 1y ago
How is this captain-save-a-hoe schema? Here's how Rollo describes what it is:
https://therationalmale.com/2012/04/26/the-savior-schema/
I'm not expecting intimacy for saving these women. It's more closer to how you'd feel about a nice guy.
Nice/beta guys have a wrong map of reality. Among other things, they expect unconditional "love" from women. Nice guys are not evil, so you can surely feel sympathetic for them, when you see them get fucked in life. Indeed, most redpill men will not try to rip off a nice guy with their course/program, they would instead give them practical advice that will work (for their long term benefit).
Most women are similar. They have a wrong map of reality. Anyways, I got a few responses that I think answer it. I'm/men are not responsible for choices/expectations of women; I can just be fair and honest in approach from the get go (not hinting ltr, no stringing along/false promises, etc.).
JamesSkepp Moderator 1y ago
I view CsaH as an extension of male protective instinct, the BPs just have in on the front a lot. In your case the instinct manifests as "protecting" the "women (that) are junkies for men that demonstrate redpill frame, plain and simple. Knowing this all, I feel a block in gaming in them; that I'm the one who's playing his part in fucking with the head of this chick. - from yourself.
[deleted] 1y ago
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TRPDuryodhana 1y ago
That's of course true. Karma is true after all.
But I get emotionally hijacked/feel pity if I know them personally enough. From there, it feels like punching down the weak/retarted guy from the class.
Overkill_Engine 3 1y ago
You don't have to stop feeling.
Just don't let the feelings control you into acting against your own best interests.
TRPDuryodhana 1y ago
But how? Doing it enough times? Will that work?
Overkill_Engine 3 1y ago
You know all that energy you are putting in "how?" questions?
You start putting them into "Why should I?" questions.