My ltr of 2 and a half years and I have been in some sort of Cold situation for the past week. There’s a guy from her home area who has called her a few times. The first time it occurred 2 years ago while she was at my place and she just picked up and said she was with her boyfriend. The dude hang up. Which to me implies he must have asked where she was. The second time she casually told me that this guy had called her and told her he was close to her home and would like to say hi. I expressed my displeasure in that and she said it was never going to happen again. Later I took her to catch a bus and the guy was there too. She just tells me ‘remember that guy who used to call me’ and pointed him out. Dude didn’t say hi or anything. Third time I found out that the guy had called her again at around 8, through my own means. I also found out it was his birthday. I asked her about it and she said she had told him it’s not appropriate for him to call. I expressed it’s unacceptable for my gf to constantly receive calls from guys, especially at night. The next time she came over the guys number had been blocked and deleted. There were a few other deleted numbers, one of them a guy and some lesbian chick who had been hitting on her. I casually asked why this guy’s number was deleted too and she said she didn’t see the need to have it. I know this guy was from her brother-school in high school and the used to flirt on Facebook 6 years back. Nothing physical happened. She doesn’t know I know that. I picked two problems from this: 1. These contacts were deleted on a day when she came over to my place. So this means she most likely deleted it in the uber on her way, which further indicates that she usually ‘cleans’ her phone before coming over.

1. She didn’t tell me that the second contact is someone she used to flirt with. She also didn’t tell me that the first guy had called her on his birthday asking her to come out and wish him a happy birthday. Which indicates that she only tells me stuff she thinks I already know. Also, how special is their friendship that the guy feels the need to see her on his birthday??? Why would a guy constantly pursue her for over an year if he’s constantly getting rejected? I naturally got distant and would only call in the morning to check on her. (Mostly because her period was late and we were scared she was pregnant. Didn’t want it to look like I ditched her). She asked what the problem was and I told her if I felt the need to talk about anything I would. A couple of days later, in what I assume to be a power grab attempt, she started saying how she felt uncertain and hadn’t been happy for some time. She said she was also not ready to talk about it and I didn’t pressure her. We just kept doing the two routine calls, mine in the morning and hers before she goes to sleep. Then today she texts ‘I miss you’ at midnight. I haven’t replied because I think it’s some kind of shit test.

I’ll clarify a few things: I have major trust issues and AWALT mentality after being with lots of people’s girlfriends and wives. I know I over analyze things and situations but that’s just my personality in everything, not just relationships. I feel I have to know everything and be in control of every situation. She has an open phone policy and is the one who willingly put my fingerprint on her phone. If I need to bring something up I know how to casually steer things that way while we’re scrolling social media. I might have used a few unethical ways to get data off her phone. Sorry for the long wall of text. English is not my first language.