Having kids is awesome, high risk high reward, and like all great things alot of work. Every woman is a gamble but if you want kids focus your dating efforts on finding a suitable mother for your kids. I'd avoid marriage and the need for a prenup. You can't do prenups for child custody or child support anyways. Make sure your lady has a career or trajectory along the way so you don't end up paying for her to sit at home if things go south. It's extremely important to have alot of time with your kids when they're little so they can see what a man is supposed to be before society and school tells them masculinity is bad and that men should embody only beta traits. You don't have to be perfect. So long as you can hold your family in your frame, you'll do alright. As others have said, noone is ever ready, but you'll be compelled to take care of your own. You don't need money but it helps to not be poor. Being a father is a thankless job so your pat on the back will have to come from within. Don't let society or risk stop you if you want a certain life, make it happen. I have kids, am divorced, and have no regrets about it.

Based on my own experience so far (about 3 years in).

Pros:

Free "meaning" to life. Providing a good upbringing for your kids takes center stage, and so you don't have to look for meaning. It's right there in front of you.

Free "motivation" to life. If you understand that in order to be a good role model, you have to do, not just say, you have tons of motivation to live your own life the right way.

Increased "efficiency". Because 'spare time' is in short supply, you're forced to become more efficient with everything you do. Me as a student with kids is miles apart from me as a student without kids, and with all the time in the world.

It's the closest thing you'll ever have to "unconditional love" - both given and received.

Cons:

Worries. Suddenly you're invested in things you weren't before, like "society" and "the future". I miss being able to just lean back, and enjoy the decline. I always made a conscious effort not to give a fuck about anything outside my control, but now those thoughts do seep in against my will.

'Time' again. I would love to have the efficiency I have now, combined with the abundance of time I had before. But alas, shortage of time is probably what I needed to appreciate time (which I used to waste a great deal of).

Being 'stuck' to a woman. Doesn't matter if you're married or not, together or not. If you have kids with someone, and you want to be a big part of the kids' lives, you will always be more or less stuck with the woman you had them with. You'll always have to "manage her" some way or another. This is extremely important to consider. Relationships failing or succeeding aside: Having kids with a cunt Vs. a non-cunt is a massive determining factor for your quality of life. If she's not a cunt, you can enjoy being a father regardless of whether you split or not. But if she's a cunt, you'll have a hard time enjoying it both together and apart. So be very judgemental towards toxic, feminist, narcissistic, self-absorbed attitudes, and towards just plain idiocy as well (ignorance and evil tends to play out similarly).

but i also fear that i might never be good enough to take on this kind of responsibility, nevertheless the time is ticking.

I don’t think anybody ever is. I talked to some old timers in my life and they all told me how anxious they were on their wedding day, thinking they weren’t ready for all of it. Many of them also were scared shitless when they were about to become a father. But from what I’ve heard, they got used to it and adapted over time. Lots of people are terrible at parenting, ESPECIALLY TODAY. The only thing people are doing right now is having kids in their late 20s at the least, you got to be a fucking moron to have a kid at 18, now THOSE people are unprepared.

But from what I’ve heard, with all the bullshit they put up with, they all told me the same thing: it was the best thing that’s ever happened to them. It really pains me because I’m kind of hopeless in finding a good woman that isn’t a “born-again-virgin” type of chick that just wants a beta-male provider to pay for her shit and treat him like an ATM.

But I’ll admit: seeing babies and toddlers in restaurants with their family and them making baby noises and laughing at their parents making silly faces always makes me smile to myself, it’s just too adorable. I don’t know what else to say but I hear you, I wanted the American Family life when I was growing up too until I saw how ugly things really were.

Edit: I almost hate to say it, but kids need a father and a mother in their life. I grew up with both but my friends didn’t and that had some long term effects on them.

Just ask yourself this: since you know that a wife will inevitably divorce you, are you actually so selfish and heartless as to want to create a child of a single mother?

If you live in America, sign a prenup if you get married. Any bitch that won't agree to that is obviously using you for your money.

Children are your chance to program a child and give him/her the best chance of success in this world. You have the ability to take all your lessons you wish you learned earlier and make the ultimate super-human. I would never force my child down a certain path but I am aware that they look up to you, so simply lead by example. As a dad you're supposed to be the hero they look up to, their savior so to speak. Let your kid see you lifting weights and working hard, he won't understand it yet but he will want to be like you.

Imagine being that jacked father that has bulletproof confidence. You visit his school, all the children surround you and think you're fucking Clark Kent. Your son brags about his friends about you, while all other dads are fat as fuck. He decides through your example that he wants to be like you, and you've made it so that you are the ideal man. You've now just given your son the best possible thing he could have, and that guidance & mentorship. He grows up to be his own man, a greater version of you. You die proud knowing he has the tools to create the strongest bloodline to ever exist. Your legacy and lineage live on til the end of human history, and leave a wake of women absolutely adoring the masterpiece you've created.

I'm a semi-nihilist who got a vasectomy while childless. I can't help you decide but there are men who have chosen to opt out of it

Though I had a lot of personal reasons for mine such as having bipolar disorder, amongst a long list of every possible reason someone might not want children

This is a good question. A big question.

A few things first;

1. why do you think you are not good enough to be a father? Think about the absolute dregs of mankind, the thugz bouncing in and of prison - they are the most prolific breeders in our society. Some of them will have 20-50 kids. Will you be a better father than the tatted up drug dealing single mom beating pos? Then yes, you are good enough.

2. You are never ready. No man is ready to have kids. If the though of having kids doesnt scare you, then you don't realise what having kids entails.

3. The desire to recreate is not vanity nor weakness. It is life essence. Men want to build legacies. Nothing wrong with that emotion.

4. That last paragraph - where you describe how you would like to take a child away from its mother and then mould it. That strikes me as wrong on every level. If you're not going to try your damndest to have a mother in the picture for your child, don't have one. (I would say the same to every wanna be single mom - not going to have the dad? Don't have the babies). Also - you will never be able to mould a mini-me. That isn't how it works. When you have a baby you create a fully independent human being with its own life and it will not do what you tell it to do. If you think that you can, you're in for a rude awakening. Children will be who they want to be - you can guide all you want. In the end, they are unique individuals over which you will have vanishingly small amounts of control.

   On balance, I would say that you should strive to have children. Knowing what I know now, at early 50s, I would say that you should try to select a much younger woman that is keen to have children. You say you are aged 30. I would screen for max 20 years old. 10 years age gap is the bare minimum IMHO for having a successful LTR / marriage needed to raise kids.

Men complain about the divorce rate, but they are partly to blame for selecting the kind of women that will want to divorce them. Forget about hotties and baddies. Find a woman of 19 to 20 who exhibits good behaviour and is interested in starting a family and having babies. other 'green flags' are

1. She comes from a stable two parent home (this is a must have)
2. she is in regular contact with her parents.
3. She lives with her parents (ideally)
4. Not addicted to SM / very low SM usage.
5. Does not drink, smoke or use any drugs

I would prefer my chances with an ordinary looking girl, maybe a bit nerdy, bad fashion sense, can be a bit chubby, plain looking etc. that exhibited the above characteristics.

If men choose a 'hottie' or 'baddie' that walks around in booty shorts, has tats, goes to bars, sleeps around etc. They are going to get divorced. They are going to get what they deserve. I have simply never met a couple where the woman was 'hot' that did NOT end in divorce rape. Never seen it.

think about the picture you see of old timers - the grandpas and grandmas. Those black and white photos of old time couples. The women were generally very plain, maybe even a little ugly. And they would stay together for ever and have 8 kids. I conclude that it used to be common for men to select for behaviour rather than looks. Nowadays, that is gone.

Modern men select for looks and then wonder why their wives turn into nightmares. Behaviours are what matter.