So, I've been a bit more mindful of my behavior and thoughts patterns as of recently and one thing I have noticed that I had been doing for almost a decade (21 now) is that I always want to catch people (especially girls) looking at me.
Could be while taking the metro or in the hallways in high school, especially when I enter the library in university. I will scan the whole area like a midfielder to catch girls and dudes looking at me. And then I'll sit down and pull out my coursework and still look up every 60 seconds to see if girls are looking at me, which of course they do since I'm looking at them first.
Is this simply another validation-seeking mechanism? It's like girls looking at me make me feel secure and whole as a person. And as my last post says, without it I feel terrible. When my stares are not reciprocated, I get extremely insecure and I get on here and write these posts. But even on the days where my stares to get stares back, it's still an interruption of my work and part of this loop that has got me fucked up for years now.
Why do I so desperately want stranger's eyes to meet mine? I don't even really seek likes on social media like that, or ask people for approval but somehow, wanting strangers to look at me has got this grip on my life and I want to end it.
PS: 6 foot, lifting for one year, looking nice (or not, depending on how many girls looked at me lmao)
Notorious 2y ago
You have mommy issues. You either got too little or too much attention from your mom and/or dad growing up, and now you seek validation elsewhere. This is quite common in modern society and can be fixed by practicing self-care, not seeking external validation, and developing healthy coping mechanisms.
Anyone can have mommy issues. One of my classmates is an ex-marine, jacked as fuck, body all tatted, yet he needs to have the company of women at all times. Every one of our friends sees this and its very obvious he has mommy/daddy issues.
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Notorious 2y ago
I'd say that OP needs to analyze his own wellness activities. Seeking validation is common - especially in the younger generation 18-25. They've grown up on social media and it affects girls worse than boys. They tend to "measure" their self-worth based on what they see, yet what they see is the skewed version since people try really hard to look good on the internet.
The fact is - there will always be someone who is better than you in everything. I've been lifting 10 years and there's still dudes that are jacked af and I'll never match. Do I care? No. Same reason I don't care that someone is a better cook than me, or a better rock climber. Why don't I care? I have a mission that I am proud of. I focus on my mission, and engage in hobbies that contribute to my mental, spiritual, emotional, and physical wellness.
You must become so self-confident about your purpose that you don't need validation. The problem OP has (if not mommy issues) is that he has not found his purpose yet. That is okay, that takes time. One amazing book that helped me discover mine is "Man's search for meaning."
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