I’ll give you the tldr first
-Got very drunk at a Intern party -I was closed off because I felt embarrassed and hurt when people made jokes about a story I had told them. -Then I got high -Saw the girl intern I liked flirt with someone else -This made me angry -Went to sleep at the hosts house -Couldn’t sleep cause I was thinking about the girl -Woke up, everyone was leaving -I was still pissed so I tried to drunk drive -Others interns restrained me and stopped me, -Everyone is mad at me and I need help
Yesterday at a game night with all the interns I got very drunk and made a fool of myself. I am afraid that my reputation, my relationships, and my full time opportunity to work at the company where I was interning, have all went to shit.
I was overly eager for alcohol and people made fun of me for that, and it made me feel bad and I drank more.
My ego gets hurt when people make fun of me and I generally don’t take them well. Like other people get made fun of too, I just don’t know how to joke back when they do. I can either be aggressive or silent.
I might just have to practice.
At a certain point the girl I liked and whom I was closest to seemed to like the host.
It was their first time hanging out and she seemed to talk to him more than me, this made me jealous and in a bad mood.
I’ve been rock climbing with her and got a membership a while back with her. But I guess she sees me as a friend.
Then my edible hit while I was very drunk.
Seeing her so close with another guy pissed me off and at this point I was so fucked up that I couldn’t really speak coherently, I was also so emotional so I stayed silent for a while.
I told the host that I needed to sleep so he took me to a room and I went to bed, i kept thinking about the girl and went back to check in on everything.
At this point everyone one but me and host were leaving the house to go back home.
I tried to drunk drive home because I didn’t want to stay at the house anymore.
People had to physically restrain me and take my keys away.
I made one of the others girl cry cause for some reason she talked about astrology and I was like astrology is bullshit. (She is very upset with me now and I feel like she might report me to HR)
They asked me why I wanted to go home and I was like I just want to.
I didn’t verbally say what was bothering me, the people thought it was a discussion about religion we had earlier.
I was upset at someone saying haram, haram, over and over again since I was Muslim. He was saying that as a joke but I didn’t like it. I told him I didn’t like it and he stopped but I let it go on for too long, cause I don’t know how to respond to jokes. This wasn’t the thing bothering me.
In my head I was pissed about the girl liking the other guy and not liking me.
They eventually as a group had to drive me home because I would not stop resisting until I had my way.
Someone drove my car, and someone took another car and dropped off the person who drove my car home.
Now I feel like all the interns hate me, I fell like they will spread shit about me, I feel like I might get fired.
What the fuck do I do?
I feel like a complete fucking loser ruining so many things in one day.
The reason I’m posting this on here is because it was related to my mindset with this one girl.
1on1 2y ago
If you like that girl ask her out for drink or ice cream and stop overthinging about stupid things what others think about you,you arent married for your friends arent you? While you are overanalyzing your memories from past,someone is in the gym making those abs pop out even more,someone is making money and sparing for that villa in Lugano.
Bob_and_Virginia 2y ago
"(She is very upset with me now and I feel like she might report me to HR)"
For what? For stating your view OUTSIDE OF WORK? She would have no case.
Kalamunachore 2y ago
Maybe she can tell that I had to be restrained as so I wouldn’t drunk drive home. Just to have a cover, idk I may be stressing too much.
Kalamunachore 2y ago
But she bought the alc and weed so she would get in trouble, ima stop posting on here before I get one those flairs for nagging. I must become better before I post.
mattyanon Admin 2y ago
Not going to read through all this, but I'll tell you one thing: don't define yourself as a loser. Don't define yourself as ANYTHING.
You're a guy and you're trying to get things done. Go do them.
slowlylearning1 2y ago
You are not a loser.
So, you made an arse of yourself - I have done it many times and occasionally done it with the same people. You learn from this and move on. You write it off! There's NOTHING you can do. But you can do something today or tomorrow - start finding yourself (as clichéd as it to say - read the material here and make slow, steady progress).
There will be ups, downs, and its hard to erase a lifetime of beta beaviour and conditioning so you may well make repeat mistakes, you get your shit together - keep a diary - and read it back. You will be amazed at how much progress you will make in just 6 months.
You can always improve, and if you stay the course, you will!
Then in 6 months if someone says ´´remember when Kalamunachore was a loser,´´ you smile and own it, and say you've moved on maybe they should too!
Practise maybe doesn't make you the best, but it makes you pretty fucking good! You don't need to be the best.
EVERYONE can do this and so can you!
[deleted] 2y ago
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Kalamunachore 2y ago
I’m also worried since this was a work environment, do you think I’ll get fired?
It’s my first ever internship in my field, I’m also someone who isn’t old enough to drink legally.
I’m the president of the intern organization, I think the girl who I told astrology was bullshit (not the girl I liked) might make me step down or something privately.
But she was also the girl who supplied the alc and weed to me, so she might not.
We planned to meet in 2 days to talk it out, but she also said she wanted someone else there to be with her, when she talks to me. Idk what she intends.
ObliviousDuck 2y ago
Stop drinking. Now. No excuse. You don't need that shit to be cool, you don't need that shit to be social, you don't need that shit to have fun. All it does is make you really really dumb.
The good thing when you are sober is you instantly become the smartest people in the room.
User4566 2y ago
Sounds like your using booze as a handicap for social anxiety.
MovinCruisin 2y ago
Not gonna read all that but you're probably overthinking it and worry way too much. Stop self-deprecating and focus on doing your shit and everything outside of that will happen as it will.