It is so fragile, it's not even funny. It hinges on absolutely nothing.

I've been working out and running consistently for the past year. I did a semester abroad, the people in my residence voted me "Best Physique". Didn't feel much about it because all that pride crumbled whenever I saw someone with a better physique.

My self-worth is based a lot on how many girls look at me when I'm out in public. I'll come home absolutely miserable if I haven't gotten any looks. The days I do get a lot of them, I feel like a champion.

I have some friends but don't go out that much and when I do, I don't really talk to girls like that, unless I'm the biggest fish in the vicinity. That's pretty much it: I've built myself to be a big fish but any time I see a bigger fish (taller, buffer, surrounded by hot girls, richer, better university) I feel like absolute ass. That shit paralyzes me, ruins my day.

I try to be pretty stoic but if there is one thing that I cannot handle, it's my perceived inferiority, I just cannot stop comparing myself.

How do I move forward in life? To tell me to keep working out is useless, there is always going to be a bigger fish no matter what I do (ofc I'll keep working out). I want to know how not to care about the bigger fishes that are clearly there. Can't even talk to girls when I see the "superior guys" they follow on socials or hang around.

I'm 20 by the way, last year of my first undergrad.