I’m not sociable. For those 4 years, most social things I’d do with her. Also why I loved her so much, I associated her with fun / excitement / innocence. I’m a very unsociable guy.
Met a tinder girl last night and although she had a nice ass, I couldn’t help but compare her to my ex. Left me feeling very sad and empty. She’s probably out with her friends living it up or doing what we’d do, with some other guy. Meanwhile I’m just trying to build my business and going gym.
How do I move past this horrible feeling? I get she wasn’t mine. I get she was just suppressing her whoredom (she’s a whore with a low body count, long story but due to the age at which she lost her virginity and how she met, I know she will start racking up the number).
I just viewed my future with this woman. Now I don’t have it, I feel lost, floating.
Any advice would be appreciated. Thanks bros.
Laxiii 2y ago
I feel you, im in same situation but just know that she is prob sad as well, girl put up masks like they are not sad but its a lie
Durek_The_Bald 2y ago
Time, sleep, do stuff, meet other women. The state you're in right now is only temporary. You'll look back, and wonder what the hell you were so obsessed for.
Also, keep in mind that just because the next one, and the next one, and the next one etc. don't quite measure up, doesn't mean you can't have your fun with them. Focus on right here, right now, not on outcome. 99% of women you'll meet in your life won't measure up. And in fairness, this last one didn't either (from the way you're describing her).
If you wanna take away a lesson from this experience, the most glaring one is to never allow yourself to become codependent on a woman (like how you were for your social life). Women are only an addendum to your life, never the focus or purpose of it.
Lone_Ranger 3 2y ago
Build yourself a program. Nobody can do it for you. here are some suggestions, just to get you going.
That's just to get your started, just some ideas. Experiment with it.
mattyanon Admin 2y ago
This doesn't work because noone can live up to knowing someone and liking them and having a relationship with them. It takes time to get that with someone.
This was a mistake..... you know it was just your turn, but at some level you stopped having a plan B.
Ok, advice time.
You need to stop looking to replace a relationship with a new relationship.
Instead you need to replace that relatationship with friends, friendship, women you know well, women you don't know, women you socialise with, women you fuck. In short, you need a full and complete social life.
Basically you are replacing one relationship with lots of small ones (including sexual ones).
Maybe you'll have a relationship again in the future, but meanwhile you need to build your social life up so that you are not socially dependent on one person ever again.
It's a very different mentality and it's not easy, but it's the only way.
No-Stress-Cat 2y ago
Whatever you do, don't jump into another relationship right now. It will only make the damage worse. It's going to be at least a year or longer for you to get past this. You have to re-learn your independence. Get a hobby and go hang out with some guys. This is coming from experience.
Victor 2y ago
As Durek, Matty and others have already mentioned, instead of focusing on the time you had together in the past, focus on yourself presently.
I want to add to this
"How do I move past this horrible feeling?"
Realize the horrible feeling is your desperation of hope that things could go back to the way they were. And everything will work out.
Once you figure out how to let go of that hope, you will no longer feel anywhere as horrible. This is the hard part, as it isn't something we could help you figure out