Me and my gf is in the social dance scene. There is a foreign dance teacher who comes time to time to our country and my girlfriend love his style. I also think he is cool so i was open to watch his videos when my girl showed it to me. This affection was a bit too much for my taste but i get what she saw in him so did not discourage her. His mindset is spiritual, he preach you dance with a person not with a woman and his technique and musicality is exceptional.
There were a huge dance festival in my country and that guy was an artist there. My girl confessed me that he know the guy in person. They met and danced privataly while he was in the country at the time we started dating. He did some eastern treatment to unblock her heart chackra or other bullshit because she was very reserved with man. After that treatment she was able to open for me and a month after that we become a couple. She was also met his ex when she was with this guy and able to let him go. She confessed that the treatment involved some dick energy as well and they fucked several times.
She wanted to meet this guy for a coffee and saying thx for her revovered traumas what she thinks resolved with this guy. We just started dating when she met this guy and i had several plates then as so i was cool with the fact because thats how woman work but not with the meeting.
I felt a little bit betrayed because she idolized him many many times without i am knowing the fact. I also felt disrespect because she linked the start of our relationship to this treatment. I think she was taken advantage of. She gave consent but the guy just pushed her emotions by his status as a dance artist and with this eastern bullshit. After several hours of discussion she apologized and i gave her consent to this meeting in a public place because it was a lose-lose game but i asked her to close this relation because i don't want a fifth wheel in our relationship. She thanked me and told me that she hope i will be less strict with her in the future and trust her. I thanked her that she shared this with me instead of meeting the guy without I know.
I arrived the festival a day before and i met her girlfriend who shared with me they agreed last week to visit a workshop of this guy in December in a foreign country. I was not told this so all the negative emotion come back.
Next day she arrived i told her that i know about her plan and that is completely out of table and i do not feel okay with this meeting anymore. She accepted my boundaries and canceled the meeting. She also told that the plan born before we speak and she do not want to go there anymore.
We are ok now but she feels that she made a sacrifice for me and i will never understand that she likes this guy as a person and i still feel hurt and don't know how it will effect our relationship when he returns to the country, like a timed bomb. She may try to negotiate this meeting what is a hard no for me. What i did not say that if she tries again this meeting it's over.
She takes extra miles since then. She knows that i had a harem before her and i was close to tell her gtfo, dread works.
How would have you handle this situation?
mattyanon Admin 3y ago
she tried to cheat. WHY WOULD SHE NOT TELL YOU?
Yeah. for now.
By not being exclusive with cheating whores.
unplugged69 3y ago
Man you need to forget about this chick unless your goal in life is to grow cuckold horns. You aren't experienced enough for an LTR, most guys on this site still don't understand LTRs are HARD more with Iron man saves (you get one shot) and you can easily fuck up.
You need to first learn about women before embarking on an LTR. Go play the game in easy mode, get yourself plates, do not commit, do NOT treat them like girlfriends, build some abundance and work on yourself to be more successful in your life.
In time you'll get the skills necessary to navigate an LTR, you'll know when you are ready, it will take a long time but don't give up. Experience is KEY!
[deleted] 3y ago
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fordfairlane 3y ago
Yeah that's what i thought as well, she choose me now but if i ever realize she behaves strange when the guy is in town there is no second chance.
dongking 3y ago
Dump her ass. It's over man.
Lol'd at the dick energy though. This dancer has some game man! Modern Rasputin.
fordfairlane 3y ago
I am also dance teacher with the same but more direct game but less status. Dancefloor is a goldmine.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 3y ago
I feel that on a spiritual level. It is solid gold
dongking 3y ago
I see. Well she is alpha widowed for sure. Take it for what it is.
Personally I could never stand the disrespect from a LTR making you (and her) simp for her former lover together. She showed you videos of him whilst she reminisced about their sexual history together lmao. That's pretty dark shit and def not LTR material.
Then add the planned trip which was obviously plausible deniability for some more of that good ol' dick energy treatment, you know a "dancing trip"...
Like if she hadn't fucked him already, it'd be worthy of a next too. Now it's just on another level.
It's your call man. But I think deep down you know what you've gotta do.
fordfairlane 3y ago
Yeah that part hurt a lot. She choose me now and work a shit out of her to compensate but time will tell how i feel or if this will come back later. I nexted my ex for similar reason but that relationship was already in downhill, this has an uptrend.If i avoid this problem it will come back again and again, that's why i somehow want to fix this and put her in place.
If i can put this together i still can next her if she show another red flag, but i want to learn. I'm pretty good qt plate management but need to readjust my relationship skills.
dongking 3y ago
As a man, you shouldn't have to police your gf to not meet or fuck other guys. That's her job. And that's the bare fucking minimum.
Your job is to raise your SMV, have a strong frame and be attractive to put it shortly. Have you done so?
In this case it seems she is alpha widowed with loads of red flags, i.e. she shouldn't have been LTR'd to begin with. Plate or FWB max; recreational use only.
I'd plan my exit like rn if I were you.
Boosted_Arrow 3y ago
A bit off-topic: You think dancing is a good thing to get into for guys?
fordfairlane 3y ago
Yep, especially sensual dances (kizomba, tarraxo, bachata, tango, zouk) Most of the dudes on the floor are terrible in game so it is even harder for them because your masculine energy or the lack of it will be felt by the partner. Combined with game and red pill it is gold. You can tell if a girl into you or into the dance and start the whole dating on a higher escalation level, and you can put lot of sexual tension into it. I once had a girl i danced 20 minutes, met her the next day, brew a tea for her but we were in bed before it was ready.
Of course it is a social circle with status depending on skill but even basic skill with masculinity beats the pros without masculinity.
Boosted_Arrow 3y ago
Yea, I don't know if I can get 'good' at it. I'm terrible at anything music-related and I don't have rhythm. Also social circle/status is my biggest weakness. I was never able to thrive in that regard. I've been thinking about going to classes. What about club dancing? Is it easy to adapt to that? Or are there courses for that? I watched a video once with some basic moves and with it I at least know what to do.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 3y ago
Yes. It's a lay gold mine. And it teaches confidence and Extraversion because of all the Approaches, performing under pressure, and leading you do
Plus you can show any random chick a dip outside of a dance place and shell immediately get wet.
I don't know why any non-disabled men DON'T learn this skill
It's not even a feminine skill. If you learn the lead part properly you will look masculine and in control
A lot of girls invite themselves over to my place. I stopped doing the heavy lifting because all I had to do was lead well and then mildly game and bait out some possible plans that they jump on.
One girl tried to fuck me just by watching me dance. She said no to me two hours prior and then tried to fuck after seeing what she missed out on. I didn't even game her nor speak to her after getting rejected earlier. She just wanted the D just from watching
Boosted_Arrow 3y ago
I don't doubt it's masculine. I just don't know if I have the talent for it. But then again, going easy mode with girls would be great for me for a while.
Is it possible to adapt into club dancing with it?
Vermillion-Rx Admin 3y ago
It's not hard to be honest.
I just went up to guys (ask the guys not the girls) who knew what they were doing to show me moves
85% of men if not more will show you because it is an ego trip for them and they get to pull aside a girl (usually one they are gaming) and it makes them look good and gives them the opportunity to demonstrate higher value to their target woman.
I've noticed that only conceited and selfish assholes, guys who are afraid you'll outclass them if they reach you, or guys who genuinely believe you are not ready for a move (which is the most fair reason) are the only guys that won't show you
Just be humble and admit to yourself what you can and can't do and you'll learn exceptionally quickly. That's what I did. And always take feedback. 95% of female criticism of your moves is legitimate and you want to take their feedback non-defensively
If they're complaints it's for a reason. I never get complaints any more because I took all their feedback and now I'm usually the best lead there because I was humble and never argued with a girl about if something hurt/was wrong etc
The reason you should not really ask girls to show you moves generally speaking, is that they simply have no idea how to explain it from the guys point of view. It's usually just a fruitless endeavor.
I can explain things from the girls point of view because I had to learn how to explain to them what to do and copy their movements to explain it, but they are just not going to be able to get the guy for you on most things
Hence why you should primarily ask the men who are good what to do whilst simultaneously taking any female feedback you can get
(Although some women are just plain wrong or were taught wrong, that's why I don't always listen to their feedback. Mainly listen to feedback regarding whether something you do hurts them or not. That's the main one you CAN'T ignore)
Ask me more if you have any additional questions, I excel at this venue type
Vermillion-Rx Admin 3y ago
@dongking
I don't know how I missed that on my first read through
Dude. Dump her what the fuck.
I'm not a dance teacher but I often get asked to show people moves. It's pretty normal for guy's girls to look like they're getting a bit wet from me showing them. I can just see the look on their face when they get taught from a guy that actually knows what he's doing when girls have previously only really danced with shit dance before
I always feel pretty bad when their girls look turned on. I do the right thing and focus on the dude more and how I can help him get better as a gesture of good will
I once showed a guy how to do moves and we both knew I could steal his girl if I wanted to. I could see it on his face but he knew I wouldn't do anything. But we both could see it clear as day on eachothers faces.
In this case your girl just sounds disloyal and obsessed. And the guy sounds like a snake taking advantage of that
Bro, respect yourself and next her. Fuck that noise
The fact that you need this much of a story to explain it means something is deeply wrong and the out of country trip with no warning is already a deal-breaker even without knowing they fucked.
Dump her, fuck this
fordfairlane 3y ago
I was close to do that, some facts what make me reconsider:
1) she fucked him before we were committed
2) she gave red light to the guy in his first visit and she gave yellow light now but she at least told me everything (apart from the future trip)
3) she is eligible to be my girlfriend what is very rare i usually just keep them as plate
4) my last two relationship was ended because similar issue, i was not able to handle it this well and the partner was not this cooperative to resolve it, so if i end this as well what next, what is the takeaway, i will encounter this problem time to time
5) she know my boundaries and tried to push it but retreated after i told her it's not okay, did not force it she realized she would lose me if she would not cancel so she did it, she is just a puppy who wanted it all
6) she is a good addition to my life
So i wonder if i should explicitly tell her again i will never tolerate this guy so don't try to renegotiate or just wait how she will behave when he is in town and if it is not ok then next her.
Menthos666 3y ago
or trickle truth
and she is not over him
You might be moving goal posts, by allowing more and more and putting blind eye on stuff.
Generally don't worry too much. You will learn one way or the other. All you are really doing, is trying to find out as early as possible about stuff.
Someone else says don't do LTR. nah, do whatever you want, just avoid permanent fuckups: marriage, pregnancy, prison. You can't see what LTR looks like unless you do it.
shaketheroom 3y ago
Ahaha. This part made me laugh. Is English your native tongue?
Its clear to me what is happening. He has clout and status in her passion. Naturally that makes him celebrity in her eyes. He used dancing and spiritual work to give her plausible deniability (she probably didnt even need any to begin with). After dancing privately and with the spiritual work they were probably isolated and had sex. So yeah she got alpha widowed.
My sister is older now in her 30's but she was really pretty in college. She used to tell me about this guy that tried to "meditate" together with her and other spiritual chakra rituals in order to have sex with her. Its just a facade to get laid. I believe these type of men are naturally more spiritual and genuine in their passion, but the whole ritual thing with another girl is definitely a scheme for sex. Its basically manipulating a girl. I guess we all run game though right so cant hate the player..
fordfairlane 3y ago
No I'm just an eastern european pleb. I'm also a dance teacher and this was a typical indirect hookup. It just happened. Game recognize game.
She wanted me and the status of that man. He is an artist and the girls lined up in a row to dance with him on festivals, she was amused that she do not need to lineup even if it was not because her dancing skills that's why she wanted to remain on good terms, that is the best case scenario, of course the rational is that she respect and love this man as a person.
I'm still undecided to state my decision won't change or just monitor her behavior when he is back to town, or just next her now.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 3y ago
I've always thought that chicks into the spiritual and or reiki/chakra/Hindi-bhuddist offshoots of religions were/are more prone to random culish suggestions and pop bullshit because so much of those forms of beliefs are selectively edited garbage for white women to consume.
For example, so many western women cherry pick the spiritual aspects of Buddhism but then they go slut it up, which is the opposite of what Buddhism is about.
So many of these "spiritual" or uncommon western religion women are prone to whatever selectively edited portions of bullshit they are to consume and likely to fall for stupid stuff like meditation instructors trying to fuck them
It's an immediate red flag to me when a woman has any of these offshoot spiritual beliefs that aren't genuine common western religions
Edit: nothing particular against Hinduism and Buddhism, it's just that western women do not practice these religions as intended and cherry pick the parts they like while engaging in nothing but hedonism and other behaviors contrary to these religions, that's my problem with them as practiced
shaketheroom 3y ago
Yeah my sister isnt over-spiritual or anything. Shes just a naturally pretty and charismatic girl who loves to travel. She won most popular in HS, so shes the type to make friends with about every type of person, including the spiritual guy
Shes more into the athlete type. But she did a lot of traveling and I suppose its not out of left field to assume she hooked up with a spiritual type white guy like in Thailand or something.
Its funny its all bullshit. The girls love spirituality and shit. But when its an Indian or Asian beta teaching them they lose all interest. They want it to be the hot 38 year old white guy to teach them how to be Buddhist or Hindu. When you can see their selective bias it exposes them.
Ive noticed girls with spiritual identities are low value and have mental illness. Same with the guys. Theyre kind of outcast types. Its all a facade to get laid and be cool. The real spiritual people are succssful people who you would never guess are spiritual because its not part of their main identity.
fordfairlane 3y ago
My gf is the same, she do not believe this shit but it was a nice plausible deniability.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 3y ago
All good points
I just treat it like a red flag and nope out of it the second I can pick up a spiritual chick
I think I've only hooked up with one of them (and I found out late). Even my 100% Indian LTR wasn't practicing Hinduism ironically
I don't know why but every time a girl hints at being into reiki or chakra or whatever it immediately turns me off. It just makes me think they're giga sluts deliberately out to embrace their spiritual sexuality and I avoid them with the same disgust as seeing a bright colored snake or frog
fordfairlane 3y ago
It's a good believe system to evade responsibility, It's not your flaw being a slut just the zodiac have a consteallation what caused overflowing sexual desire or her root chakra just overwhelmed and needed to let out the excess energy. Bullshit.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 3y ago
This is why I avoid them like the plague. It is way too fucking convenient for engaging in and excusing their hedonism and neuroticism
It is like a hamster on LSD and steroids and I don't fuck with that.
fordfairlane 3y ago
They can be fun but definetely not LTR material.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 3y ago
I don't even want them for recreational use, but that's just personal preference
Boosted_Arrow 3y ago
https://therationalmale.com/2019/07/31/alpha-widows/
https://therationalmale.com/?s=alpha+widow
Read the first link and go through the second if you'd like. She def. got alpha widowed and is still pining for this other guy. aks yourself this: is she more of a fan of you or the other guy?
fordfairlane 3y ago
She is with me because my dick, cockyness and not letting her being a bitch. She fucked me even if she felt i have plates and know that i fuck two of her gfs, one of them the same time we were dating. She spent 2 months as a plate and buried her ego and asked me for commitment and accepted my terms, and she is obsessed with my dick even if that costs a sleep or being on time. The relationship definetely based on attraction not providing.
The only thing i lack is the status of that guy who is an international artist, she wanted both and retreated when i draw the line. So i take it as a win, time will tell if it is more serious or not.
I did not want to hard next her because she was almost completely honest and scared that she lose me if she is able let this go than she is a good addition to my life.
Time will tell or i explicit tell her again to cut it off and see how she will react.
Boosted_Arrow 3y ago
Hmm don't be scared to lose her.
" time will tell if it is more serious or not"
I wouldn't say this. She's either ride or die. Or as Rollo puts it: 5 minutes of alpha trumps years of beta. She chose you now, that's good. But having desire for another guy in the first place is an issue. I'd def. suggest you read more on the rational male. Maybe even his books. (Or watch his yt-channel, it's mostly the same material, just not ordered)
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fordfairlane 3y ago
ok any tip how to prevent this kind of situation next time? I explicit shared with her what are my boundaries (no exes) and she knows i have several options. She asked permission, and let it go when saw i dont dig it.
whytehorse2021 3y ago
Alpha widow. RUN!!! I would just demote her to a plate. Commitment means nothing to her. She will sneak off and fuck her Alpha while you stay home and masturbate. You can't stop her.