Maybe I'm being paranoid, or perhaps my intuition is trying to tell me something here... I'm not 100% sure because I haven't battle tested myself socially enough lately. I feel like I've always been able to quickly enough earn respect, and without having to try, at least initially anyway. I'm a fast learner, I work hard, I'm my own man and I don't follow any crowds or people please, I can be very assertive when I need to be but generally I'm laid back, I don't sugar coat shit for people either, I'm reasonably intelligent, I'm not an unattractive person, I'm in decent shape and can handle myself in a fight, etc etc. I feel like there are a lot of good qualities to me.
Yet for some reason, I also feel like maybe I'm not always taken seriously or that I'm underestimated. This isn't all the time, but sometimes I get that sense. Thinking about it, I never really used to care but when I was out the other night, I did notice I was spoken over a couple of times, and in general throughout my life I do feel as though people haven't given me the respect I feel I deserve. They like having me around, but something about me or my behaviour maybe makes them feel that they are somehow more than I am - when they couldn't be more wrong. I'm very capable. Could it be my height? I'm 5'9"... Never considered it before. I'm not always the tallest dude in the group but I've never suffered with a Napoleon Complex. I'm happy with my height. Could it be that I like to make jokes? I am a pretty funny guy generally, but I don't feel like I'm a clown. I amuse myself. I am a little soft spoken, that's not to say I don't have a manly voice, but I don't speak LOUDLY or commandingly unless I really have to. And no, my voice is not effeminate lmao.
Again though, I could just be overthinking which admittedly is one of my worst qualities, so perhaps that's what it is. Or maybe they're all jealous haters, it's not completely outside the realm of possibility and has happened before, but probably not though. I just have no definitive clue. I don't wanna go around asking people for feedback in real life either, because that would make me look weak, and if I do have haters that I'm not aware of, then especially so. Bear in mind for those who already know, I haven't socialised in a long, long time which is obviously going to affect anyone but I plan to change it.
If I knew exactly what it was myself, then I could wrap this issue up immediately. Failing all else, I can definitely say I'm respected as a drummer and musician at the least so I'm not concerned about that.
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AbusiveFather1 2y ago
Become dangerous: get good at a combat sport, get good at shooting, become situationally aware (street-wise), always be combat ready (never let your guard down), become genuinely okay with taking a life if necessary, become as okay as possible with dying.
become stoic, have a higher purpose than yourself, reign in your base instincts, remove yourself from weakness - don’t hang around purposeless or hedonistic/narcissistic people.
In my experience, for whatever reason, I have to choose whether I want to be a respectable man, or a man that gets laid a lot. I.e. I don’t think a truly respectable man will be on OLD or even hang out in nightclubs/bars, so that’s a lot less interaction with women. A respectable man will not tolerate disrespectful words targeted at him, which sometimes happens when women shit-test you and so on.
MidgetSpinner 2y ago
I feel like I've got all of those covered.
Not so much this part though, and not a human life. Though I understand your point.
Agree with all of the above, but the part in bold I don't really experience that often in day to day situations, and when I do I usually shut it down quick. The disrespect I feel I get is more sub-communicated in behaviour, for example, being spoken over in a group of men etc.
AbusiveFather1 2y ago
If you're being spoken over, make it known that you don't like that. And don't hang out with people that will have a problem with that.
Another point I'd like to add: be real, or as real as possible. Don't play any games, don't try to manipulate anyone, don't lie - or at least limit these things as much as possible.
Truly respectable men often live humble lives or don't live long at all, but they are remembered and revered long after they're gone, by their enemies as well - even if secretly. These days we are programmed to value riches, trickery and debasery; you will often find yourself alone on your path to becoming a respectable man - just know what you truly want in life. You don't have to be this respectable man, just as you don't have to be this rich whoremonging puppeteer - it's your choice and try and limit others' influence over it.
AbusiveFather1 2y ago
Also, we really are defined by the company we keep, and it's better to be alone until you find a company of respectable men, or yourself become worthy of being around men like that; try to limit your exposure to faggots (cowards, traitors, gutless immoral men, etc - i don't mean homosexuals)
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Problematic_Browser 1 2y ago
Talk less, do more.
Men respect integrity and competency
MidgetSpinner 2y ago
Lol, I don't talk a whole lot. I type a lot, but I don't talk a lot when I'm out. I talk when I mean to, or have something to say.
Lone_Ranger 3 2y ago
I didn't read your post, but I think I see an issue in the question:
How do you garner respect from other men?
In my experience, the kind of men that go around talking about 'respect', how to get more 'respect', who are obsessed with 'respect' ....don't get anywhere. Its the sort of thing that impoverished low level drug dealing homeless 'road men' focus on. If you are focused on 'respect' that means that the only thing that is important to you is the opinion of others. 'Respect' is the currency of losers. It's what leads people to overspending on credit, in order to keep up appearances.
Stop it. Have some 'self respect'. Forget what others think of you, or at the very least, stop being a slave to the opinion of others.