The situation was this: I was in my old town last night, which I rarely get out to and I decided to go and join a live music jam - I'm a drummer. I get asked to come up and play drums for several different people, and this woman was one of them - she was a singer. I didn't interact with her at all, but I remember at the end of the song she gave me a cue to end it. That's it.
I went outside after a while for fresh air and to shoot the shit with some of my friends, and one them asks me if I have a drum kit, and before I can answer, she interjects herself into the conversation by asking me sarcastically, "Do you own a puncture repair kit?". Random.
This woman wasn't ugly, but she had grey in her blonde hair, so definitely post-wall. Wasn't trying to hit that obviously. She wasn't on my radar until she interjected herself.
Anyway, she starts talking amongst the group but I keep noticing her looking at me as she's doing so. The rest of the guys head back in, and then she basically isolates me before I head back in as well. She asks me who my favourite drummers are, etc, and I turn it back on her and ask her who her favourite singers are blah blah blah, and then while answering she basically associates her answer to being like chocolate bars... That her preference always changes.
I made a little joke about some chocolate bar she likes to eat and that I wouldn't eat it, and then she says, "Well, that's because they're for men". Obviously implying I'm not a man. I did take it as a joke, and said she has an acid tongue with a smirk, although in hindsight I wish I'd said, "Must be why you're eating them then", but it's what she did after that made me think that this woman had some sort of issue with me in particular.
I went to go to head home and she followed me over to my bicycle as I was unlocking it. Yes, I don't drive. And she was basically being extremely sarcastic with me, and condescending about it. I was chilled, and didn't react to her but underneath I was wondering why this aging bitch was targeting me in particular or trying to emasculate me. I've got good intuition, so I know she wasn't just playing around, there were some shitty undertones - common sense says she was trying to neg me, but why? I showed zero interest in her.
Anyway, ironically, this is the least masculine post I could make, but I'm just curious as to why someone would even bother to be like this. Feel free to call me out for anything in the comments. I'm aware this is a retarded post, I just like to analyse everything apparently.
LurkerChump 2y ago
She was just hitting on you but in an ‘making fun’ matter. I do it too with girls. Sometimes it’s the only thing I can think of
MidgetSpinner 2y ago
I do this with girls too. That's normal, but she seemed to be shit testing me when I wasn't even into her. Just came off as a dick. I didn't know her at all, no warm up, and she right out of the gate starts trying to rip me down.
Problematic_Browser 1 2y ago
"Post wall woman says..."
Ask her what her husband thinks about it.
Lone_Ranger 3 2y ago
It's pretty obvious that she wanted you to fuck her. If you can't see that, then, well....
She sounds pretty much like most post wall women that go to bars / venues / events. She is hard work. She is making the mistake of 'assumed reciprocity' by being 'feisty' and 'spirited'. She obviously wants men to 'ballsy' so she thinks that men want women that are confrontational.
They don't.
Because women spend their entire late teens and 20's being pursued, they get to post wall age with absolutely no idea how to flirt whatsoever. It's like watching a dog trying to drive a car. A dog knows what a car is, has been in a car thousands of times.... is totally incapable.
Problematic_Browser 1 2y ago
This is getting stolen.
MidgetSpinner 2y ago
Yeah, common sense says she was, but her behaviour didn't make me want to fuck her at all. But mostly I didn't want to fuck her because she was post-wall, so that wasn't even a thought in my mind to begin with. Just seemed like she was being an asshole.
Lone_Ranger 3 2y ago
Hey, a kill is a kill. Post wall milfs can be a lot of fun. Some of them are really hot. One of my favourite lays of all time was a 42 year old. I still have the occasional wank just thinking about her.
But not if they are going to be 'hard work'. The best thing about post wall women is that you can be as dominant as you like - you can dictate the terms. They know that they are lucky that you are even talking to them.
Sometimes women behave like assholes because they want you to discipline them. They act "alpha", naughty and bratty to try and provoke you into being dominant. Me personally, I find this a massive turn off because a woman acting like an asshole or wanna be alpha is a so unfeminine. . If they want a man to be dominant, the best way to do this is to act very feminine and sub. THAT is what awakens the dominant alpha behaviour in men.
Women get this wrong all the time. It's tedious. It feels as though women really are slow of learning.
MidgetSpinner 2y ago
I've slept with older women before when I was younger for the shits and giggles, so I do know what you mean but these days I'm not fussed about them at all. This one in particular I didn't want to fuck, I'm not that desperate, and there were loads of much younger, hotter girls around anyway.
I will say that my game is a bit "off" at the moment because I don't get out as much I usually would, so I'm definitely out of practice, but regardless, I don't think I would have played the game with her anyway. I just was not interested full stop. On the other hand, if I was interested in her, I definitely would have rose to the occasion. At most, I just smirked, told her she was an acid tongued woman and dismissed her. I can handle shit tests, but it just seemed like she was trying to emasculate me for no reason at all, and I had no bid in the game anyway.
I remember while I was over at my bike, she said, "So is this your stallion then?" referring to the bike, and I did say something a little cringey, hahaha. I said, "Yeah, and I'm the stallion riding it". She goes, "Oh wow" sarcastically and then walked away. Which I was happy with anyway, haha.
Couldn't agree more with your sentiments about masculine behaving women though. If she was younger and more attractive, I would have eaten her alive.
Lone_Ranger 3 2y ago
yeah, you prolly did the right thing in just rejecting her. Don't worry about her shitty comments, that's her just trying to save face after her begging you for sex and you denying her.
Sometimes, you sort of wonder - will I get more utility out of pumping and dumping this chick or will I get more utility by rejecting her? Do whatever gives you more value.
MidgetSpinner 2y ago
I'm out for fresh blood, so no utility in having her.
[deleted] 2y ago
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MidgetSpinner 2y ago
I think she was trying to be a man though.
Einsamer 2y ago
Classical case where you just treat women like children, because that's exactly how she behaved.
If a 5yo looks at you funny and tells you you are not a man, what do you think? Just "Strange brats nowadays..." and then 2sec later you think about something else.
The fact that you even made this posting means that you should reflect on your self confidence imho.
MidgetSpinner 2y ago
Just caught me off guard, but you're probably right.
Bozza 2 2y ago
Also worth noting that particularly hot chicks will run this kind of game. They will absolutely bust your balls for the first few minutes of the interaction.
Catches you off guard if you aren't used to it.
Lone_Ranger 3 2y ago
yeah its a pain in the ass. To me, its an instant DQ. I don't care how hot you are, if you going to behave like a ball buster, I got no interest.
MidgetSpinner 2y ago
I am used to it. I'm a pussy buster myself, I just wasn't interested. In all honesty though, I haven't been hit on like that in ages because I haven't been out for ages. It definitely caught me off guard.
gr8bollos 2y ago
You kind of got a bit snappy with her when she just wanted you to fuck her, making her feel rejected and brought out the bitch in her and disrespect.
Everything seemed normal until you pressure flipped about the singer part and were unagreeable on the chocolate bar convo. It didnt really come across like teasing either.
Sounds like you treated her low value and she felt rejected and disrespected you. That wasnt very classy or high value of her. Theres not much more to it than this. You cant disrespect everyone who turns you down sexually. It just screams insecurity and entitlement
Girls always treat low value men as low value, they cant handle when it happens to them. I do think this is not a good thing however. You should work on some tact, treat the low value women with more respect, its a life skill. Theyre all around. You always want them on your side not being an enemy.
Lone_Ranger 3 2y ago
not sure why he needs to work on his tact?
The only think he needs to work on is caring less. He needs to care less what women think of him, regardless of their hotness.
Woman is offended? Tough shit.
MidgetSpinner 2y ago
I wasn't rude to her though. At all. It was more of a tease/joke about the chocolate bar thing, and the pressure flip was to take the pressure off of me because I haven't socialised in honestly fucking ages lol.
gr8bollos 2y ago
Well thats good you are self-aware. Do you think that maybe this may have been picked up by her? Your lack of socialization when she finally spoke to you? Whereas before the conversational exchange was very minimal.
Girls seem to shit test when they get surprised by low smv traits such as social weaknesses.
The thing is that you are normally a very socially sharp guy. But if your social skills rusted (I think ive seen your posts discussing you are going thru a rough time), she does not know you were a casanova prior. People we meet, especially girls, only meet the current version of you.
Given that dad bod guys are able to get hot women, the main difference between them and you are social skills. So they do notice when one has a silver tongue and one is 'off' per se.
Personally im pretty charismatic, but after working a 12 hour shift and speaking to a woman stranger at the store or something when im super low energy, i can tell they treat me different. But IDGAF.
Its the old adage, girls attracted to confidence.
MidgetSpinner 2y ago
I can be charismatic, I definitely used to be very charismatic before the breakup, anxiety, OCD, depression, isolation and all of that crap. I'm working on getting back to being charismatic somehow, as I'm assuming it came quite naturally to me.
There's definitely a chance she picked up on it. I noticed a couple of times that night that I was being spoken over by some other men, didn't happen a lot, but a couple of times... No big deal since it's the first time I've socialised in a long time. I had a lot of positive conversations and reactions too, but even just those couple of times where I was being spoken over was enough for me to realise I've got work to do.
whytehorse2021 2y ago
Dude, that's game. She was gaming you. You failed to play. You're supposed to play the game. She's a cougar looking to ride your dick. You weren't interested so she came up and tugged on your dick. I fuck a cougar MILF every day so I get it. I just let them tug my dick until it gets hard and then enjoy the ride. If she's ugly just use a gay voice and she'll run for the hills.
MidgetSpinner 2y ago
Maybe I should have played just for sheer practice, but I didn't want to fuck her anyway.
User4566 2y ago
Sometimes people say the wrong thing when trying to make a joke or flirt. I do it all the time.