I am confident in my ability to succeed in whatever I put my mind to and it shows in how I carry myself. I've gotten better at showing it to other people when I am speaking to them as well, just having pleasant conversations with other guys where I make them feel good and happy to talk to me. When going out and a few times at the gym now I've had girls come up and find an excuse to talk to me with high energy big smiles and I have failed to capitalize on these opportunities cause I've never really spoken to girls before just been in monk mode.
One was working out next to me in the gym and said excuse me. do you know how to adjust this machine. I said yeah I think so, let me see, there you go. she said thank you big smile and eye contact. Obviously she could have figured it out herself so I think I should have said something along the lines of "How long have you been working out? I haven't seen you before" Then she says whatever, then maybe lightly touch her arm and tell her she has a good physique and I would have guessed longer. Depending on her reaction if she's into it I could say I would let her inspect my physique closer but I wouldn't want her to get too excited while we are still in public. Optionally tell her to watch my stuff while I get some water. Then ask her what she is doing after her workout. Then tell her I know a great spot for post workout refreshment and she should come hangout with me for a few minutes, get to know each other.
Another came up to me in a small bar with a big smile and asked me where the afterparty was going to be. I live with my parents and was there with 2 friends I didn't really know what to say could have said bring your friends and we will head back to my place. Other option would be to say nothing or very little and hold out my hand and escort her outside and start kissing her in the alley and then take her home by herself. Other option would be to tell her she's already talking to her best option and we should skip the boring party and get somewhere we can be alone.
Once they agree to come with me can make small talk you'd make with any acquantice try to keep the vibe sexual and tease her if possible, touch her as well. Then escalate to sex once we are alone.
I know it's somewhat autistic to plan these out in advance, but it's not something I have experience with and in these situations even being high enough value, the more missteps that are made the more it hurts my chances of closing so good to have a general idea of what to do. Do these seem like reasonable solutions, I missed both these opportunities due to being a little nervous due to inexperience.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 2y ago
Your biggest problem here isn't that you don't know how to capitalize on these moments they approach you, it's that you don't know how to succeed with girls in general.
Exhibit 1)
None of this is good game. I find it hard to believe that you've would know what to even in cases where you're the one doing the approaching.
Just because you're
Doesn't mean you can succeed in any situation, as claimed. Your game needs serious work this is not it
Exhibit 2:
She opened you with a pull? And you declined?
"I was at a friend's tonight, I nominate the after-party to be at yours"
Just insta-kissing her? That sounds like bot a great move, even if she expressed being interested.
First of all learn game in general. You're clearly getting lucky getting approached, but you need to have game down in general. Does not sound like you have good sense of what to say or do in general
Girls approach me all the time. The only difference I do when they approach me versus the other way around is I just instantly assume attraction and I start testing them. I'm more banter and tease-prone to girls that approach me. When girls approach me I throw out bait such as mentioning shit to do outside of the place I met them and a lot of them just take the bait. I know why they approached me even if their excuse for doing so had no intent
All you need to do is give them shit tests and kino very lightly when making some points. You basically just need to tell them they haven't instantly won you (just token resistance) by giving them some shit and then making minor physical contact to show them they have an opening.
Then just escalate and make suggestions at a faster but not retarded pace of speed than you would if you were the one doing the lifting
But you seem like you don't have much experience approaching and gaming from a guys point of effort to begin with so this advice is going to have severely limited reach honestly
You need to learn game
Matthew 2y ago
How do I learn?
I understand the general mindset is I am 100% assured of my value and success, outcome independence, abundance mentality, to lead her, she is qualifying herself to me and I am the judge, invest, but make her invest more so she is chasing me, display value and escalate when I've built enough power to move to the next milestone in bedding her.
The game I described followed these principles, but maybe was moving too quickly where she wouldn't be comfortable and would have to rely on a high level of attraction to my appearance and charming way of speaking.
I understand your point about don't seem too easy just cause they approached you and to give them a little bit of a hard time while touching them. Although I am not all that sure what giving them a hard time looks like, for example what I would have said to the girl in the gym? Could throw out bait about place to get protein shake, but unsure about testing her there.
[deleted] 2y ago
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