Plate comes over a few days ago. Brings her new lingerie set she bought for me. We bang. Things go well.
Perhaps a little too much emotional investment on her part. Keeps trying to either invite me to stuff (I'm doing X with my friend next week you should come), or invite herself to stuff I'm doing (OOOHHH I can help you redecorate!).
Anyway - I basically had to coax her out of the house otherwise she never would have left. She initiates kissing me multiple times as she leaves, and says she's going to have a bath and will send me some nudes. Sweet.
She texts me she's home. I follow up the next morning (I fell asleep) ribbing her for not sending me the bath pictures she promised. She says she'll make it upto me, she's going to buy some BDSM restraints for me to use on her.
I double down, say I'll have to put her in her place if she keeps being forgetful. No worries I have some BDSM restraints you'll enjoy.
She replies but ignores my message. Starts talking about her Netball practice and how good her ass looks in her new shorts.
I make a joke about the Netball practice and that I'll need evidence of these new shorts to make a judgement.
Been left on read since.
Usual shit applies here, I have other plates and if she breaks then it is what it is. I'm not going to bother contacting her until she reaches out.
Wondering if this is another example of @TwoInchShaft retroactive LMR which I experienced with this plate who ended up coming crawling back.
OR whether I just totally sperged out and came across as thirsty by pushing for nudes/ass pics.
MidgetSpinner 2y ago
Who cares? I'm a sperg too if that's the case. Give me those ass pics, bitch. She's just a plate for now.
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Durek_The_Bald 2y ago
She was low-key comfort testing you. Nothing outrageous, not twisting your arm to get you to commit, but at the very least looking for you wanting to "know her as a person". So she tried talking about her everyday stuff, and every time you sexualised it. Probably made her feel like a bit of a sex toy, hence the power play of leaving you on read.
Anti Slut Defence, basically.
Next time, just feed her something. Just a little bit of interest towards her life. You have plenty of wiggle room there, without necessarily giving off relationship vibes. If you're into the dirty, filthy, use-you-as-a-slut kinda stuff, 'comfort' can almost be considered part of the sex act. If there's no comfort at all, you end up killing the slut.
The turn-on is in the juxtaposition of being used as a filthy whore one moment, and being seen as an actual person (not necessarily GF) the next. They're both part of the same vulnerability play. If you feed her nothing, you're kinda leaving out half of the act, and you get a regretful slut, rather than a happy slut.
MidgetSpinner 2y ago
Does she have plenty of wiggle room in her new Netball shorts though? That's the pressing issue.
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Durek_The_Bald 2y ago
Then the world ends, I guess.
Look, I'm not talking about writing poems and shit. People go way overboard with the "alpha" stuff - to the point where it just comes off as socially maladjusted, or an act. Throwing in a sentence here and there that doesn't involve her ass and tits doesn't make you "beta", simpish, or unattractive.
You can be a 10/10, but if you're going to stonewall any attempt at conversation that doesn't involve tits and ass and ropes and inuendo, they'll quickly get bored, and also you're going to activate their ASD.
Tl;Dr: Don't be autistic.
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MidgetSpinner 2y ago
Nah, you can do this without being thirsty. It's a good way to vet what you're getting beforehand if you've never met the girl before. It's a different story in person obviously because you can see what you're getting, but it's important for me to get those ass pics before we meet.
Durek_The_Bald 2y ago
Too thirsty, yes.
Too much attention, perhaps.
Too much validation, definitely not. She was fishing for comfort, he gave her none. Should've given her some.
OPPTRP 2y ago
Facts I used to ask. But honestly I don’t even care anymore. Don’t masturbate anymore which helps. Girls will generally send them unsolicited and the more you ask the more they feel like they have somehting over you and we all know what women are like with power
You want sex too much they make you wait to give commitment
You ask for nudes too much they don’t send them so they can get more investment from you
MidgetSpinner 2y ago
Nah, the more they send, the more invested in you they become in my experience.
Bozza 2 2y ago
Had a feeling that was probably the case. Blunder on my part.
I don't really give a fuck about nudes - more a case that I wanted to experiment and see if I could get her to submit to my frame and extract something out of her for "bad behaviour". But in hindsight it was completely miscalibrated and just came across as thirsty/needy.
Better response would have just used the usual indifference - kept the response to "I'm home" short and sweet.
OPPTRP 2y ago
It’s actually the other way round when you ask. Cos she holds the power in whether or not she submits and she’s not in front of you.
A new one is dissapearing photos. Had it twice now. The second time is with a friend I’m fucking.
She sends me dissapearing nudes and I’m like what’s the point..
She’s like oh yeah how bad do you want the full photo what you willing to do
I reply - I don’t negotiate with terrorists
She’s still sending it that way but I never asked her to send to begin with so she’ll crumble soon and if she doesn’t I genuinely don’t care
Bozza 2 2y ago
That's a good point I suppose. He who asks is in the weaker position.
Have you ever attempted compliance testing via text? Just getting her to do random shit for you for the shits and giggles?
In person it's fairly straightforward, but over text I'm guessing it's more difficult and might not even be worth it.
OPPTRP 2y ago
Erm tbh I’m man enough to admit I struggle with that even in person I have adhd so I forget some things.
I do find compliance testing is harder over the phone. Easier to do things with body language. Girls will be around friends etc or group chats asking eachother what to do. We all know how easily influenced they are.
The same way it’s easier to pass a shit test via text because you have more time to think is the same way it’s harder to get compliance because they have more time to think.
For example, compliance in my last LTR
I was trying to get her to sew something for me via text before meeting she said no.
But I’m person if I asked her for anything like to make me food she’d agree.
Asking over text allows for more brain power: it’s like making things too sexual over text they have more time to think and be disagreeable. Don’t mention sex you’re more likely to get laid
coolsocks00 1 2y ago
I find that this can be difficult during the early stages before they're steadily spinning plates. Although i dont get them to do random shit, i get them to do things that are actually helpful to me.
So if you're at a certain level of compliance in person, you need to wait longer and take it down a notch over text. Phone call is better.
whytehorse2021 2y ago
haha she sent you nudes?
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coolsocks00 1 2y ago
The women that come here always find a way to sexualize themselves. Not that that's a bad thing, but it doesnt exactly happen on all kinds of forums. Wonder if there's something to this red pill stuff
whytehorse2021 2y ago
I think they go down the rabbit hole and end up here. Then they find out they're in the men's locker room for the football team and run away after smelling all the testosterone but they always gotta be like "call me" to one of the guys on the way out.
coolsocks00 1 2y ago
Haha exactly
whytehorse2021 2y ago
Weird. "Here's a photo of my ass"
MidgetSpinner 2y ago
We're in 2023, dude.
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whytehorse2021 2y ago
Yup, all bets are off.
mattyanon Admin 2y ago
Ok.
You need to create a gap after seeing her during which she doesn't know if/when she'll see you again.
"Sounds great honey, I'm a bit stacked out this week, I'll let you know".
Recurring dates with no gap-of-uncertainty has two huge problems:
Been there, done that, to both.
I think the problem is you repeatedly asked for something she doesn't want to do for whatever reason. Seems a bit thirsty, but doesn't seem that bad given that she offered.
But mostly: see above about creating that gap.
Bozza 2 2y ago
That might be the reason why she keeps trying to organise stuff. Currently I have no plans to see her, and she's in uncertainty as to when I'll see her next.
She's tried 3 times to get me to come to this concert with her and her friend in a week or so - but each time I've brushed it off. Maybe, I'll see if I have the time etc. I don't really want to meet her friend, and I can't be bothered to pay for a hotel either.
See this is where I get confused, I've had this with a few plates. They will voluntarily set a sexual frame with a text message, and then when you respond they try to back away from the sexual frame they just set.
Funnily enough she broke the radio silence this morning. Sent me a video of her doing RDLs asking me to critique her form. Odd, but maybe a veiled attempt at ass pics or validation fishing.
Just kept it short and sweet. You're getting there, need to do X.
Thought there's no point trying to be cocky funny.
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Vermillion-Rx Admin 2y ago
@bozza
Agreed with Matty
Also, love to see Retroactive LMR™ in circulation, lmfaooooo
cjtakk 2y ago
What the hell is an LMR? :D
Bozza 2 2y ago
Last Minute Resistance - when you get to the finish line and she tries to shut you down.
Retroactive LMR we're discussing here is a weird phenomena where a girl will fuck you on the first date. Then she decides she likes you or she feels like a slut because she gave it up too easily. So the 2nd time you see her, she tries to put up loads of resistance to having sex - despite already having fucked you.
cjtakk 2y ago
Oh I recognize this