Maybe it's become routine and she expects me to initiate the plans. I try not to see her too often.
She did beg for me to spend the whole day with her the other day. I did, sort of, because it's not something we've done a lot of. Plus, her period was on. I went to a meet n greet with my boss and then I spent the day with her.
She's always good, respectful, blow job's galore etc
But I know she's home from work right now, she knows I'm not too busy ATM. This seems to be the case. I feel like a woman saying this lol, but I always make the plans. Tell her when and where etc
Just wondering what you guys think.
RedPirate751 3y ago
You're the captain of the ship, so lead. If you want to do something, tell her what you're doing. Say she's welcome to join. Then go do it regardless.
Dxmx99 3y ago
This has to be the answer I needed, I actively lead and I believe it's my ego that is getting a bit soured.
She actively does everything I could ask of an LTR and a bit more, she just rarely initiates.
Ironically, she hit me up with a nude (bait) soon after I made this post and I had her in my bed. She's a woman, shocking..
[deleted] 3y ago
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MrSupreme 3y ago
Don't feel funny because she's open to you bossing her around a bit, she's waiting for you to take the lead,tell her she has to breathe and blink,some women are like that
mattyanon Admin 3y ago
Being passive like this is the beginning of the end. She's getting lazy and starting to check out.
Here's what you have to do:
Gradually start to get the power back to NOT see her so regularly. This will make her a little uncertain, it will make you think about you more often, and gradually she'll start to be a little more proactive again if she's still attracted to you.
Versus what's happening now: "I know I'll see him Tuesday so I don't need to think about it till then".
amazonri 3y ago
Some girls are actually just super passive, and its definitely out of submissiveness. But in my opinion, a girl needs to be both submissive and proactive in a relationship, thats what makes a good girlfriend.
If theyre submissive and passive, theres a lot of good, some bad. Personally I dont like it. I think its lazy and can even be viewed as losing interest, even if its not their intention. Its just not a good foundation for a LTR.
I had a good GF that was really passive. I ended up breaking up with her, a lot of it was because she was too passive for me. I kept thinking she was unappreciative, losing interest, being a bad gf, because she wasnt proactive. But in every other category she was great (no drama, great sex, attractive).
A lot of guys are perfectively fine with an overly passive wife or gf. To me its incompatibility. I would take a clingy girl over a passive one 10 out of 10 times. At least I wont question her love or relationship investment for me.
mattyanon Admin 3y ago
OP said "LTR rarely initiates plans anymore."
It has changed..,, "No plans anymore", he said.
Absolutely, especially in a LTR.
100% agreed
Same. Ditched them. I just can't do it..... it feels totally one-sided to me if I'm doing all the work. It's like dragging a rock around.
amazonri 3y ago
Yes. Ironically shes the only ex Im not 100% sure I made the right decision on. Because she was so good in other categories, Im not sure if I shouldve just tolerated her passiveness and not mistaken it for something else. Im over her now, but when the break up was fresh it was a lot worst. But I will admit, like once every few months I do think about her and if I made the right decision. Every few months I also randomly think about the relationship and get upset she was so passive with me and wonder if she was like that with every guy shes been with or just me? I ran a tight ship, and she hinted I was too good for her, so I like to think that she felt insecure with me and she self-sabotaged.
I believe every girl comes with bullshit, its just do you like her enough to put up with it? And with her, the only bullshit was the passiveness and some jealousy issues she had. She was immature too, but as i said, every girl has bullshit attached, she was only 22 at the time we dated, so expecting a mature understanding of relationships at that age is a bit unrealistic.
We no longer live in the same country, so its over for good.
REGARDLESS.. I learned that passiveness is an incompatibility though. I will never wife a girl who is passive with me in the LTR phase. Thats what I learned from that relationship.
mattyanon Admin 3y ago
if you hate passive, DO NOT MARRY
Problematic_Browser 1 3y ago
Women, by nature, don't like to lead men - especially men they're interested in.
Just keep leading, don't take her actions as a lack of interest. The only time you need to start to worry is if she gripes about your leadership.