So there are those girls who have been in a long-emotionally-intense relationships, which is now ended, and it end's with them doing therapy probably talking about the "Alpha Fucks" ex dude and how she is unsure about this "Beta Bucks" new one.
Question: What kind of man one need to be to overshadow this imprint on her? How to?
Durek_The_Bald 2y ago Stickied
The kind of man who's got better options than giving away free attention to someone stuck on an ex.
You're really asking the wrong question here.
cav123 2y ago
Friend, after you are 30, the vast majority of single girls are single because a relationship that did'nt work, ie, the "ex ghost" is there for ALL girls who has been in relationships, ie, i'm asking how to cloud this.
Below 25 everyone is "fresh and untraumatized". This don't last, ortherwise they would be married. Therefore, shall i give up all the dating market then?
WQwaseasy 2y ago
So date one under 25? Seems fairly straightforward. Once you have one, mould her and live a good life. It's very easy for a man in his 30s to get a 20 something and they'll typically have less emotional baggage, smile more and a better body.
ogrilla99 2y ago
This right here. Couldn't have said it better myself. How do you un-alpha widow an alpha widow? easy, be a bigger alpha.
But you're asking the wrong question: if you happen to be better than the guy who alpha-widowed her, why are you bothering with this chick? Presumably the original dude was already out of her league, or barely in it, which is why she'd widowed by him. If you're better than that guy, you're pretty much by definition out of her league. Why are you chasing her?
2nd point. I see you've spammed every response with the whining about over age 30 chicks. First of all, not every chick over 30 is damaged, just like not every chick below 25 is undamaged. Yes, they're rare. You're task is finding them (and being a good enough person to attract them in return). It's difficult but not impossible.
But fine. If you believe that everyone over 30 is damaged (and also that below 25 everyone is undamaged), you have 2 options: 1. Work on yourself so that you can date under 25. Yes, it's hard. Most guys in their 30s/40s don't have what it takes to date desirable 20-somethings. But it's not impossible (and it's easier than for women, for whom it's basically impossible to get a desirable younger guy for anything besides NSA sex). Set yourself that goal.
If you don't want to do that work, then "settle" for someone imperfect. And you will need to decide which imperfections you're willing to tolerate. Some guys decide they're okay knowing that they're not as good as The One That Got Away as long as other criteria (she's hot, she's willing to fuck him once in a while, whatever) are met. Otherwise place more importance on this part (being the best guy she's ever had), and must therefore necessarily compromise on other aspects.
What do I mean compromise? Remember what I said about being a better alpha than the one who widowed a girl? And being out of their league? Yeah that. So pick a girl below your league. There are plenty of girls who aren't that attractive, don't get much attention, and who got "alpha-widowed" by a very ordinary guy. You're probably better than that guy, and as long as you can accept that this girl may not be hottest or most desirable one, but at least she'll love you as the best she's ever had, then go for it.
Really, this isn't that hard. It's basic SMV / RMV math. If some guy alpha widowed a girl by bringing so much SMV/RMV to the relationship that she's smitten by him years later, then you only have 2 options: increase your own SMV/RMV to exceed what he brought to the table, or find a girl lower on the attractiveness scale whose "best" is someone you can beat. (Or option 3: increase your SMV/RMV, and then find a girl who hasn't been alpha widowed yet).
cav123 2y ago
I appreciate the detailed comment. Back to the grind then. It sucks knowinehat some girls drunk another dude cum and now is making you "beta" her.
ogrilla99 2y ago
If she's past the age of 20, she's almost certainly guzzled some other dude's cum by then. Even the ones who are technically virgins. It's just a fact of the modern world. That's not something you can control. The only thing you can control is your side of the relationship. If you don't want to be her beta, then don't be. Either do the work of becoming an alpha to a woman like this, or find a woman who's enamored enough by what you offer that you're already an alpha to her. These terms aren't absolute. They're relative.
Gilles 2y ago Stickied
The premise with this post is wrong. You are essentially trying to impress a woman, trying to prove to her that you are better than her ex. Your mental point of origin should be on yourself instead of her. Don't try to win her over if she's still emotionally attached to her ex. You should be gathering other options instead.
cav123 2y ago
Friend, after you are 30, the vast majority of single girls are single because a relationship that did'nt work, ie, the "ex ghost" is there for ALL girls who has been in relationships, ie, i'm asking how to cloud this.
Below 25 everyone is "fresh and untraumatized". This don't last, ortherwise they would be married. Therefore, shall i give up all the dating market then?
Gilles 2y ago
Dating over 30 is a fair circumstance I acknowledge. It's not the same as dating at 25. But you seem to think that all women getting out of relationships are alpha widowed? This is not the case. I use the term alpha widowed if she's obsessing over an ex and obviously broken because of it. It sounds like you are comparing yourself to all her potential exes - don't do that. This is all in your head, you don't know about her exes - it's fantasizing that doesn't help you. Just game her normally, but of course if she's broken then move on. This seems like a case of taking red pill advice too literally - an alpha widow is really just an abstract concept we use to make sense of things, it's not the norm.
cav123 2y ago
Not that, but all have "ex's" who they compare to. At least in their mind they are comparing, and with their girl friends. But i understood the premise you said. Thanks.
Gilles 2y ago
Anyway, why compare yourself to their exes at all? You're the bomb and shouldn't even begin to think about that
Problematic_Browser 1 2y ago
You don't. They're damaged and only good for one thing.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 2y ago
Why do you want an alpha widowed chick for anything other than recreational use? Who cares if she's hung up on her ex if you're fucking her down no strings attached
cav123 2y ago
Friend, after you are 30, the vast majority of single girls are single because a relationship that did'nt work, ie, the "ex ghost" is there for ALL girls who has been in relationships, ie, i'm asking how to cloud this.
Below 25 everyone is "fresh and untraumatized". This don't last, ortherwise they would be married. Therefore, shall i give up all the dating market then?
Vermillion-Rx Admin 2y ago
And?
My point is unchanged, they are recreational use only. And not every single girl has been massively alpha widowed before
RedPirate751 2y ago
I suspect this is a bot going by the weird English and the fact that it posted the same comment three times.
cav123 2y ago
I'm a robot because the world was made in english, yes.
RedPirate751 2y ago
@Vermillion-Rx see! He admits it! Hahaha
Vermillion-Rx Admin 2y ago
Well damn
Vermillion-Rx Admin 2y ago
I don't think bot on my end, just sperg/noob
nicknack 2y ago
You don’t, those are what we older cats refer to as damaged goods.
Lone_Ranger 3 2y ago
I just went ahead and upvoted every single reply. They were all perfect, a full house.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 2y ago
I don't know if it's just me imagining it or not, but the community commentary seems like it has massively improved lately
I'm usually torn between which comments to sticky now and have to pick two some times
[deleted] 2y ago
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cav123 2y ago
How to alpha a girl who has been AWdoed?
[deleted] 2y ago
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MidgetSpinner 2y ago
Be better than her ex in every conceivable way and imprint on her, but as the others said here, that shouldn't be your goal because that puts you in her frame. Be better every day for yourself instead and don't waste time trying to LTR an Alpha Widow. Fuck them only, and fuck them good.
Lone_Ranger 3 2y ago
as soon as you are 'competing with her ex' by trying to be better than him, you have lost. Its a game you cannot win. As soon as you even care about her ex's, you have lost the game.
All women that I have ever dated have all of them had this one trait - they CANT WAIT to start telling you all about their ex's. Some women jump the gun and start telling you about their ex's even before you get to the first shag. And then they wonder WHY we ghost, why we pump and dump.
It's because you signalled very early on that you were recreational use only, that's why.
My golden rule is that if a woman wants to drone on about her ex's when she's with you - she is strictly recreational. It's the iron rule. Every time I ignore it, it ends in disaster. It's a shame, because it means that 90% of women are not suitable for LTR.
[deleted] 2y ago
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cav123 2y ago
Noted, thanks. I'll see by this lens.