So I meet a girl in a forum about BDSM, we started talking there and we clicked. We went to telegram and proceded to chat for a week or so, she send me some nudes and we started some game, like she telling me when she arrived home and send me pics of what was she wearing. In the week we tried to schedule but both of us were busy and she told me, it was hard for her to go out at night (shes 20 probably parents are on her and shes jobless). She also told me she didnt want to directly go to fuck, so we planned a playdate in a nearby arcade (she air hockey and me too). Beacuse of time constrains it was going to be a short one 1 hour or so just to know each other face to face.
The date went well and we had a good time, after the date she seemed interested in me, she told me I was handsome and asked me what I though about her. So I had a few signals of intereset there. She also started to call me sir and send me even more pics, while we discussed what we were going to do next time... problem is there wont be a next time, cause she can only go out at daytime and I only can do it a nighttime. I could fit 1-2 hours in the day, but I dont feel kinky in the mornings or afternoons. So I decided to tell her, that things wont work that way and that she needs to make some excuse or something to go out at night. No point in discussing bdsm if we arent going to do them.
She accepted my "things wont work, like this" and told me it was shame cause she really did like me. A few minutes later she told me she wont stop talking to me for the time being, so I wont forget her.
Did I mess up? Was I too harsh or early in jumping off the boat? I just didnt wanted to waste time to end up doing nothing, or being chat friends. Also Im not a fan of giving free atention.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 2y ago Stickied
Normally I would instantly delete a post like this.
Look, youre on a bdsm forum. It's inheriantly sexual. And she has you chatting for several weeks. Not even tinder girls chat for more than several days
She can't meet you. It's already a waste of time. You went on a date, which is fine if she needs rapport for the bdsm.
Now she has some time to fuck you but you just don't want to meet her at those times
This is a major first world problem
You devoted 3 paragraphs to a girl you haven't fucked. You need to go get yourself more options and fuck her if you want to fuck her
Most major reason I'd delete the post is that YOU decided not to fuck her and now you're asking what to do. Definition of first world problem
Don't lay down your "it won't work boundaries" and then keep messaging her. Why do this????
Onestepeveryday 2y ago
I stopped messaging her but youre right, its clearly my problem here, maybe I enforced too hard my usual rules with vanilla girls.
[deleted] 2y ago
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Bozza 2 2y ago
Sounds like a classic attention whore.
If she wanted to fuck you she'd find a way. Soft next.
dongking 2y ago
This really. If she was into you she'd have lied to her parents and/or not have cared what they said.
Actions > words.
So if she's making excuses and making logistics difficult = next.
Onestepeveryday 2y ago
Well thats what I did. Just doubting cause she went out once with me, gave me signals of interest and her parents are weird and strict.
Bozza 2 2y ago
Attention whores will do everything except fuck you to keep that sweet, sweet validation rolling in.
They will text you, send you nudes, kiss you - but soon as sex rolls around there's suddenly a roadblock (imposed by her).
The other guys have posted some decent advice, and maybe she would have fucked you had you not fucked it up.
But call me jaded - on a BSDM forum, sends nudes easily, can't meet. I've known many a woman like this and they have all been a waste of my time.
Onestepeveryday 2y ago
I had a few vanilla girls doing that to me too, thats why I cut her down so quickly when she refused meeting on my term (at night) but the two guys that told I was a douchbag, have been here long and their wisdom surpass mine. Will try to fix this, if I cant or she stalls the date even on daytime, im out.
mattyanon Admin 2y ago
She's fat.
good idea
ouch.
tricky..... but you COULD feel kinky for a 2 hour fun date in the day if you wanted to. it's amazing how much you can muster up with a cute girl in front of you.
Ok, so you've still got a way in.
Yeah,. let's assume that "LJBF" means you'll fade her out.
Were you too harsh? Hoenstly I think yes....... she likes you, she sounds kinda chill and cool, you should have bent your rules to fuck her by day at least once, let her get addicted to you, then negotiate for her to change her plans around a bit too. Maybe alternate day/night or something, I don't know.
Or it really was a dealbreaker in which case be happy with it.
Onestepeveryday 2y ago
Shes not fat or ugly or this post would not be ever created haha.
Youre are right about of lot of shit here. Its clearly my mistake, and maybe theres a way to get back in with she said about still wanting to chat. Maybe I should own my mistake and said I was to harsh with her expecting her to give in, without me giving in (time in this case).
mattyanon Admin 2y ago
Noooooooooo
Don't give in, never show weakness.
Ignore her for a few days, then hard flirt with her for like 3 texts till she bites again...... then tell her you've got a couple of hours to kill during the day on Thursday afternoon.
Stoksks 2y ago
own mistake quietly, world is not interested, you would create another first world problem
make up white lie [as for circumstances change] if she asks, or just blatantly say 'now I have/had time' which will make sound like someone else occupied you
whytehorse2021 2y ago
Sneak in her window. Jesus kids are so dumb nowadays.