Was texting with a girl I met on online dating.
We were joking etc. Out of nowhere she throws this shit test and says I am unoriginal for asking for a hug. Says I could have done better if I came up with something original.
Instead of getting mad I thought "Agree and amplify".
I respond with "You are right. I am unoriginal. I will also eat your share of pizza and ice cream on our first date ;)"
She responds with "Dont worry you are blocked" and blocks me LMAO
I wanted critique on my response so i can learn from this and improve.
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Typo-MAGAshiv Endorsed Contributor 2y ago
That's not necessarily a shit test. It seems more like it was just bitchy, childish behavior.
Her: you're unoriginal
You: so's your mom/I save originality for chicks who aren't fat/ok, show me how it's done
These will only work if she was actually into you, and it was actually a shit test.
This reads more like she was just killing time and being a bitch.
Hooktenay 2y ago
Arent shit tests also bitchy behavior? How to differentiate between the two?
Typo-MAGAshiv Endorsed Contributor 2y ago
A shit test is when the woman is attracted to you, but doubts that attraction (innate skepticism bias), and so tests your mettle.
This is all done subconsciously and out of instinct.
If she's not attracted to you, she won't shit test you. She'll most likely reject you outright.
If she has no instinctual doubt about her attraction to you, she won't shit test you.
As for how to differentiate between a shit test and her just being shitty: if there were signs she was attracted before she did it (IOIs), chances are good it's a shit test. You'll learn to differentiate through experience.
mattyanon Admin 2y ago
Ok, I'll tell you. It's fucking terrible. But I'm here to help.
It's important to understand what's happening here.
She doesn't want a hug, but she wants to blame you for asking, somehow. So she throws out the unoriginal thing, as if asking for a hug has to be original.
You are fucking this up by trying to hug girls over text rather than meeting them. You can't game over text. Text is to get them on a date or arrange a call, that's it. You can't win this game, you can only use it.
That said, you're not even playing the game well.
This is a further attempt to blame you for things going on in HER head.
Urgh.
Agreeing is terrible, and that's not amplifying that's just changing the subject.
Agree and amplify isn't great here because what are you going to do, amplify unoriginality?
I guess it would look like this: "Sure, and I'm going to follow it up with a second hug", which is almost as stupid but it makes the point that the agree is a single word and the amplification is sticking to your guns while doubling down.
A more subtle point: she is taking a step back by criticising you. And you take a step FORWARD by inviting her out for a date with pizza and icecream. That cements you as a loser.
A girl taking a step back is the test. If you're awesome, you'd take a step back too because you're not interested in a girl dicking you around. If you're a loser you fear the loss from her step back and you take a step forward. See how this works? That's how the game is played. That's how you're being tested. She tentatively thinks you might be a loser, she steps back, you step forward, bang you're done.
Thing is, she already knew this would happen from your level of commitment and previous comments. She's pretending she wants original, but really she's got you on the hook and she wants to see how much entertainment she can get from you. But you went from unattractive-maybe-entertaining to nothing at all.
Learning points:
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Hooktenay 2y ago
I met her on an online dating app. Problem with these girls is they need to get excited for the meeting before they will even come out for the date.
I see people here are saying this wasnt a shit test. She was just being bitchy. How to differentiate between the two? Because shit tests also seem like girl being bitchy. The example I read online had the girl telling the guy his clothes came out of a garbage bin.
Then how would taking a step back look after this unoriginal comment? I thought a lot yesteday and couldnt come up with a response that didnt make me seem angry
coolsocks00 1 2y ago
The thing with this, is that the result is much more contingent on external factors going on with her, than it is on your texts. Her general horniness, personality, stress/life, other guys, etc. So much so that you should have very low expectations for OLD.
By all means, work on improving it. Read matty's responses, they're gold. But more importantly, improve your in-person game and other aspects of SMV.
mattyanon Admin 2y ago
hugs are comfort, not excitement. And you're misunderstanding women..... safety and comfort is more important than excitement for getting her to meet you.
You don't need to differentiate between the two in your response. Treat it all as a bit of a laugh and don't take it seriously while acting attractively.
Where it makes the difference is in your judgement of her and if she's worth your time.
"Original enough". (Shows self acceptance and tells her you won't be trying any harder). Personally I'd go with this, but I'd make sure there was a long gap before I responded during which I'd talk to other women.
"You seem like a handful". (Slightly playfully negative impression of her while changing the subject)
"You can go off people you know".
"Do you want me to draw a fucking Picasso of it". I might go with this one because I'm a dick and she might as well know it sooner or later.
The most important thing is not to agree, definitely not to try harder, and bounce it back at least somewhat. And leave a gap so she forgets, then change the subject.
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Vermillion-Rx Admin 2y ago
In the future, questions need to follow this rule
https://www.forums.red/p/asktrp/320505/new_rule_before_you_ask_your_question_read_this_first_or_hav
To answer your question
@Hooktenay Wait... Did you even meet her in person yet? If no you need to seriously work on understanding of game. If you hadn't even met her yet and you're asking her about hugs on a dating app and the getting blocked you need serious work understanding game. This is newbie level stuff the side bar should massively fix for you gamewise. You're either not actually reading the side bar or something
Yeah, no. There are much better ways to jokingly get a hug that shit test HER etc than to ask for hugs. Don't ask for stuff like this from girls in future unless you're gonna do it in a banter or push/pull way.
Your game foundation needs some revisiting. I have the impression that you misunderstood game of didn't apply it after reading it
No.... That's not agree and amplify. You just AGREED. That's it. and then switched to already basically telling her she won you over for a date. Shit test failed. Also, pizza and ice cream??? Why are you trying to take her on a food date FFS? Do an action date if you're gonna do a date at all.
Typo-MAGAshiv Endorsed Contributor 2y ago
Feeder fetish!
BabyUareSoSexy 2y ago
She just sounds like a bitch. You should be glad that you no longer have to keep up with her. Also, online dating is full of trashy women and a waste of time.