Hi,
Firstly, some context to the situation. I have met this girl a month ago and been sleeping with her a couple times since then. Both times, we got to her place from the bar and had sex once or twice and sometimes in the morning too. After that, she has obviously been really into me (immediately answers texts, shit tests about other girls etc.)
Now yesterday, she invited me over to her place. So I agreed fully expecting to go over and have sex, but after trying to initiate like 3 or 4 times with no interest from her, I asked her straight up. "Did you invite me over just to lay in bed" and something like "don't you want sex". She said she didn't feel like it and maybe should have said something beforehand. I was really caught by surprise with this one as I was fully expecting us to have sex. The part that made me the most flabbergasted was that she is obviously really interested in me. Then why would she invite me over just to hang out?
So after a small think, I told her I have to go home and haven't messaged her since. Do you think this is the right act? Has this happened to you before? How did it go for you and how did you react? I am interested in hearing your responses :)
Problematic_Browser 1 2y ago
It's a shit test. You can do this one of two ways:
Just don't deal with her again unless fucking is specifically on the menu.
cjtakk 2y ago
Additional question: What is an OLTR and MLTR
whytehorse2021 2y ago
I think it's open LTR and married LTR.
mattyanon Admin 2y ago
M = multiple
Bozza 2 2y ago
It's a shit test. She invited you over with the subtext that you would be getting laid. At the last minute she pulls a switcharoo - sorry no sex!
She wants to see if you'll submit to her frame and just hang out with her.
Personally I've never had this happen to me but I'd say you handled it well. Show her you won't have your time wasted by leaving, and not contacting her.
If she does contact you, she should be making up for it by proposing sex. Any contact you get, jump straight to logistics. No fucking about.
OPPTRP 2y ago
Is this the case even on a first hangout ?
cjtakk 2y ago
Yeah, I agree. Great advice. I see Mr. Bozza is a regular here. Does he know the definitions of OLTR and MLTR. Was reading "IS REFUSING SEX GROUNDS FOR A SOFT NEXT" and the terms came up.
Bozza 2 2y ago
I'm guessing they're "Open Long Term Relationship" and "Monogamous Long Term Relationship"
[deleted] 2y ago
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OPPTRP 2y ago
Is this the case even on a first hangout ?
koedeloe123 2y ago
You did great. Going home and not messaging her since is the right move. She needs to realize that these stupid games don't work on you. Withdraw all attention and soft next her. Meanwhile, you should be busy with other girls. Show her that she's not your only option and that you can replace her anytime you want.
You need to make her chase you. Every time when you go to the bar with her, you go home with her, and fuck her…. Boring! (predictable from her point of view). Try to mix things up. Become too busy for her, decline her invites, disappear for 10–14 days. That's why it's so important to have multiple plates, so you can cycle through them.
Women are retarded, they don't even know what they want. According to them, it's a guy who's always around and showers them with attention. But that's far from the truth. Women use sex to get your attention, it's all they can offer. Disappear for two weeks, and watch how she'll jump on your dick. Sometimes I don't see my plates for 2-3 weeks, and once I get back from 'being busy with work/hobbies', they literally jump on me. Becoming too available dries up their pussy.
whytehorse2021 2y ago
Yeah we always hear these stupid antics chicks will play. They go online and get bad advice from other women and then try it and it fails.
[deleted] 2y ago
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whytehorse2021 2y ago
Yeah you should go read their forums some time. Their advice on how to get a high value man is to make him wait 30 days for sex while fucking fuckboys and upping their notch count.
Then we come along and tell to not be fat and they go REEEEEE.
mattyanon Admin 2y ago
Female.
Look, this is bullshit. It's a bait and switch.
Women do this, and you need to know how to handle it.
Basically you PRETEND that it's cool, but you downgrade them..... create more distance, answer them less, deprioritise them, SEE OTHER WOMEN.
They pull shit this when they are losing attraction and testing you for beta qualities.
The cause is treating her like a girlfriend rather than a FWB: ie you showed too much commitment by being too available.