Been with my gf 4 years. 1 year into the relationship, she told she was bi. Back then I didn't give a shit because things were very rocky and I thought we didn't have a future, I just wanted to keep smashing. I did ask her why she thought she was bi, and she told me she had had strong feelings for a friend before. I didn't think too much of it and thought she might not even be bi and it was just a harmless crush. It was a literal 5 minute conversation.
Fast forward couple weeks ago, subject comes up again and she basically confirms she is as a matter of fact bi. Even though she's never done anything with a girl, she actually wanted to date and sleep with the girl I mentioned previously. It was also not the first girl.
Whenever I think about it, I am overcome with anger. I don't even know why. The thought of her wanting to have sex with a girl disgusts me. I also feel emasculated for her finding girls attractive. That's supposed to be my role. I never considered myself a homophobe, so I can't even understand why I am having such a strong reaction to this. I can't explain why I feel so angry.
Is it ridiculous that I am considering breaking up with her? She is otherwise a good girlfriend.
JamesSkepp Moderator 2y ago Stickied
You have a "first world problem" and if you don't know what that is it's basically "help guys my dick is too big".
If your are attractive and have game - try a threesome.
Don't want a threesome, don't want a one night stand with a new girl AND your girlfriend - next her to uphold your principles.
whytehorse2021 2y ago
I'm bi and married. People are just born that way, however rare it is. The ideal relationship for bi people is to have both a husband and wife. Putting that into practice is not so easy. I doubt I'd be able to find a chick that wants to be a wife/mother and is ok with a bi guy. So I have to pretend to be straight with my wife and kids. You two might want to adopt a don't ask/don't tell policy and have an exclusive relationship with non-exclusive sex. Or you could have 2 bi wives.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 2y ago
First of all, I'd still consider her fucking a chick while with you cheating (not saying she is planning on it)
That aside, that shit would make me infinitely less angry than her wanting to fuck men
Are you religious?
truktz 2y ago
I am not religious. I don't know why, but thinking she's attracted to a girl makes me furious. The mental image of her wanting to touch and actually having sex with a girl makes my blood boil. I thought it might be a jealousy thing, so I did a mental exercise and tried imagining her wanting to sleep with another man. That shit doesn't bother me nearly as much.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 2y ago
Are you upset that she might like pussy more than your dick?
truktz 2y ago
I don't think so, at least from what she told me she's not particularly concerned about the genitals, but she "likes the person". Sometimes I am out on the street and I check out a hot a girl, like I've always done, and suddenly the thought of "would she find her hot" enters my mind. It's really been fucking with my head.
She is otherwise a good girlfriend, so I hesitate to abruptly break up with her when I don't even understand why I feel the way I feel.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 2y ago
Like she's emotionally abandoning you for a woman?
truktz 2y ago
I think it's the physical side of it, I've had gfs before that had very close female friends and I never gave it a second thought.
nicknack 2y ago
Not before you invite an attractive woman into bed with both of you at the same time. Maybe you can get a 3 way relationship going with both of them before you dump them both if you still don’t like it.
OPPTRP 2y ago
Depends. I hate dating bi girls seriously. Recreational use only. Even more indecisive manipulative and flaky. They can’t even decide which sex they prefer. What kind of relationship is that?
Rider477 2y ago
I had bi-courious / bi wife. She banged ~10 women with me. Generally good feminine girl.
Problem is with women having bad attitude[] these days. Evaluating women by any other characteristics one could say they are shit[] because : blond, brunets, tall, short, bi, hetero.
Intrepid_Place53900 1 2y ago
first, she's sure she's bi, but never did anything with a girl? For me, how is that possible.
many girls try being with another girl, just to try.
If a girl say's she's bi to me, I myself, wouldn't consider her a LTR.
that's just me though