So most recent date said she didn't like my voice, I could tell she didn't like me within 5 minutes of meeting - said I sounded too nerdy. She talked about all her exs during the date(lol) and seems she loved a certain type of fuckup.
I'm considering making adjustments, anyone experience this before?
Vermillion-Rx Admin 2y ago
Need details. What do you mean by nerdy? Nasally? Etc?
Also next time something like this happens, leave the date. Why would you put up with even half of what she did?
Grunk 2y ago
I guess Nasally? I don't know, she said "you sound very smart but you sound more nerdy than I thought you would be" but I talked to her the same way I texted her and the same way my dating profile was laid out.
Leaving is a decent idea, she didn't say until at the end of a walk we took. We ended up doing one other thing, at that point I didn't really care but I was in town so I felt I could benefit from interacting with her either way.
I didn't pay for anything though(at this point I won't pay for shit).
Vermillion-Rx Admin 2y ago
Sounds like you just talked about logical shit instead of triggering her tingles.
I don't know if your ACTUAL voice sounded nerdy. You should stick to topics and conversation that makes her tingle
Grunk 2y ago
She directly said she didn't like how it sounded(intonation?). Like within the first 5 minutes I could tell she was turning into a bitch so there wasn't much time for me to say anything. She almost immediately didn't like me.
https://voca.ro/1b5Dz1qUJbfb
Vermillion-Rx Admin 2y ago
I can see what she means by intonation.
Lacks masculine command, almost sounds like you are asking permission, breathing through your nose as you speak
You're gonna wanna speak from diaphragm more. Avoid nasal speaking, talk with more direct points and don't let your sentences trail off
@mattyanon
Grunk 2y ago
I might get a speech therapist, I understand there is also minor surgery to lower voice. I'm not sure about correcting the nasal sound.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 2y ago
no
Fuck surgery and speech therapy. The things I mentioned can easily be changed by making a concerted effort to speak more confidently as a man
Learn to speak away from your nose. Speak from chest
OPPTRP 2y ago
What are good unlogical or illogical things to talk about?
Vermillion-Rx Admin 2y ago
Teasing her, asking about herself, telling a story, talking about entertainment, hobbies, goes on and on
Don't
Talk about procedures, facts, science, politics, debates, technical terminology, work details, finance etc, factual processing and Critical thinking kills feels
Grunk 2y ago
Is asking too many questions bad? Most of the time the women don't ask me anything so I ask them stuff.
Vermillion-Rx Admin 2y ago
Women love to talk about themselves
Just don't interview them or wade into the topics I said they don't care about
mattyanon Admin 2y ago
never listen to One Woman...... if two say it, ask again
[deleted] 2y ago
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coolsocks00 1 2y ago
She probably has a point. Years ago i was used to talking rather nasally with a higher pitch. Slowing down, deepening my voice somewhat, and removing uptalk, has helped a lot and some girls even comment on how they like it.
Lone_Ranger 3 2y ago
I've said it before, I'll say it again - the issue is probably the whole concept of 'dates'. When you go out on a date - you put all the power in the hands of the woman. She can reject you at any point. You have to 'simp' to even get the date (by this, I mean behave in a way that gets her approval, like having the right kind of profile pics, doing a lot of SM (which is beta) etc).
So, by trawling through OLD, doing all the swiping and chatting 'hey, you look interesting' etc you have already entered her frame. Along with 30 other thirsty and desperate try hards, I might add, which you don't see, but she definitely does.
So...she is in an abundance mindset before she even agrees to let you take her out. You see what the issue is here? She is ready to kick you to kerb for any sort of violation, no matter how minor (the sound of your voice, the wrong shoes, you didn't open the door, you know where your birth cert is etc etc etc) there are hundred reason she can and will reject you because there are always dozens more 'swipies' on her phone, all begging for her attention.
This is why OLD and dates dont' work for men. It puts the woman in the driving seat.
And this is exactly why day game and approaching women is superior. Why you approach and chat with a woman IRL, you have the frame. Its your interaction. If you approach in a public place, you can terminate at any moment, and her validation will be over. She will also see that there are MANY other women around, and that you are one of the 5% of guys that can actually talk (rather than type) and she will expereince a mild form of dread - that you will stop validating her, and go and validate some other chick.
this is why IRL game beats OLD + dates every single time.
Grunk - there is nothing wrong with you, its the situation that is working against you.
BTW - they way I see most young men doing the cold approach, to my mind, its all wrong. What they do is approach, give a quick pitch, and then immediately ask for her number. The young man wants to terminate the IRL experience ASAP and switch to digital. THIS IS RETARDED! because what you are doing is basically getting into her digital cloud, where she wants to keep you in her orbiter pantry.
The total power move is to do an IRL approach, have a nice chat, be friendly, maybe a tiny bit flirty, then say ok, hope I see you around and make to leave. Don't ask for her number or socials. And then wait to see if she ask you for your number. If she doesn't, keep walking. This is a true abundance mindset - let the slip away. its not a bother to you, because there are 1000s more just like her, around every corner. She'll be feeling a bit of dread, because you INITIATED the contact, and you TERMINATED the contact, so you were in 100% control all the while.
Ironically, this is what women want. they want men that are in control / in charge. Its a very subtle way of showing a woman that you are driving this interaction, you chose the target, you directed the convo, and now you are finishing up.
[deleted] 2y ago
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Lone_Ranger 3 2y ago
Hi Lionsmane8, good to see you again -
I don't that's quite right. They think they want to be the ones in control, they believe that they want to be the ones in control, they honestly believe that, but....look what happens to any kind of relationship (whether casual or LTR) where the woman actually gets the upper hand and gets in control: it will not last.
I would say that womens biggest problem is that they do not know exactly what they want - or to be more precise - they are not able to admit to themselves that their actual preferences are way out of line with their gender politics. Women really do believe that they want to be equal to men, and perhaps they think that they need to 'smash the patriarchy' and be in charge, and be a 'boss babe' etc. But if and when they get that, they get the dry.
I recall seeing an experiment where they asked men and women their sexual preferences. The guys had a range of preferences, such as skinny, or fat, or tall, or lingerie, big tits, small tits etc. The women stated their preferences differently, they said things like 'romantic' 'sensual', 'loving encounters' 'when men go down on women' 'women on top' and even things like 'men being dominated' or 'respect' and 'consent'. etc. The interesting thing is that they tested those preferences by showing the subject an array of pornographic videos that either related or did not relate to their preferences.
To measure 'truthfulness' they attached probes to both the women and the men's genitals. The probe for women was internal and it measured both heat and humidity.
The findings were very interesting. They found that men were accurate with their preferences. If they say that they liked lingerie or fat chicks, that was what got them hard. The interesting thing about this study is that women were WAY off. They either had no idea what it was that turned them on, or else they did know but were not willing to admit it. I suspect a mix of the former and the later.
The experimenters pushed it quite far - they found that the most popular was a hunky guy with a lot of muscles, even for women who explicitly said 'I don't like guys with too many muscles'. Also popular - a guy who would push the woman onto the bed. Not rape, but a guy who didn't spend any time on foreplay and just did what he wanted to do. Also popular, fast and hard - even thought they expressed a preference for soft and gentle lovemaking.
The point is this - the women's stated preferences were not even close to their actual preferences (as measured by heat and moisture generated). Guys were more or less accurate in predicting what would excite them.
What has this to do with your response? Everything. Women say, and act and behave, as if they want to be in control. But they do not actually want to be in control. Millions of men have done millions of hours of fieldwork on this 'paradox of women' - as soon as you hand over control to your woman, that is the day your relationship dies, because she will loose respect and desire for you.
And when a woman's desire in you tails off, it very soon fixes on someone else.
[deleted] 2y ago
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Vermillion-Rx Admin 2y ago
Excellent points
This is rarely why I go on "dates" and OLD is basically me taking them going where I feel like. I think a chick turned me down because I wanted to a do a night venue where I had clout and skill and she wanted to do "coffee".. I said no and a couple days later she gave me some mini paragraph on how I seem like a great guy but she's not going on dates with anyone any more.
Lol. Suuurreeee. I'm sure that's what happened. /s
All valid points
While the girl was a complete bitch and OP should have bailed at her bitchiness OP did leave a voice link to his speaking patterns
She actually probably did OP a favor by helping him recognize an area he can work on. I probably spoke a certain way at one point before reading 'Models' by mark Manson
Curious what your feedback to OP would be with your good insight already, but with the voice sample:
https://voca.ro/1b5Dz1qUJbfb
Lone_Ranger 3 2y ago
I listened to that sound clip, and my view is that there is zero wrong with this guys voice. He sounds perfect - clear voice. I would go so far as to say that he sounds educated.
I think the deeper issue here is confidence - I don't wish to be rude to the OP....but if he is online worrying about his voice, going to the trouble to post a sample, it sounds to me as though he has a confidence issue. Or at the very least, he has a 'priority' issue - he is worrying about the wrong thing. I mean this as a complement and a helpful way, in no way am I shitting on OP.
OP seems to be asking if there is something wrong with his voice and what could he do to change it. There is nothing wrong with his voice, and he most certainly does not need to change it. The only thing wrong here is HIS DESIRE TO CHANGE HIS VOICE TO PLEASE WOMEN. That is the issue. Because if you are keen to change in order to please women, that in and of itself will be enough to give women the dry. That is beta. That is getting into the female frame. Women say that they want that (obedient men) but in reality, it gives them the dry.
What does he need to change? His strategy and his mindset.
Strategy - ditch OLD and socials. Approach IRL. Day game. bit of casual night game.
Mindset - stop worrying about 'what women like'. Women are the ones that are supposed to be worrying about what men like, and change their hair and their dress etc. Can't we see what has happened to us men? If we go around worrying what women think of us, we have slowly morphed into 'synthetic women' - we have become women.
If you think about 'traditional' men - whatever that may be - John Wayne, Albert Einstein etc the one thing they did NOT do was sit around worrying what women thought about them. They most certainly did NOT wonder if they could change their clothes / voice etc in order to be more appealing to women.
You might call this 'the paradox of women' - the more you try to please them, the more it gives them the ick. If you do exactly as they say, they will not like it. I would go so far as to say, this is one of the absolute cornerstones of red pill thinking, and it took me about 7 years to figure out (age 17 to 23).
There was no internet in those days. I was a young guy, and young men are naive. The mistake I made was that I met lots of great women, and I listened to what they said, AND I THOUGHT THAT THEIR STATED PREFERENCES WERE THEIR ACTUAL PREFERENCES.
I put that in caps because its so important. They all say they want a 'nice guy' who 'treats them right' ....but this gives them the dry. They hate it. What they really want is a player. No woman will admit this simple truth - they want a guy who is a man slut.
Grunk 2y ago
Thanks for the info, I'm happy to take feedback and if there is a problem adjust it(be it voice or something else) to maximize my success in this area. I understand there are traits that are generally more attractive to women so it's beneficial to have them if you want to maximize your overall appeal.
I'm still not good at cold approaching, I do it sometimes but I have only ever given my number to one girl who messaged me but was probably 10 years older who I met at a rest stop.
Lone_Ranger 3 2y ago
Hi Grunk - I don't know you, so please excuse me being blunt ..... I still think you have not got the message!
You write "... there are traits that are generally more attractive to women so it's beneficial to have them if you want to maximize your overall appeal."
This is no way to live your life. This is getting into their frame. I'm willing to bet that you're a great guy, probably better SMV than you think. Don't fall into the trap of trying to change yourself (anything about yourself) to 'maximise your appeal' to women. That is how mankind ended up metaphorically cutting of our own dicks.
Be the man that you want to be. Focus 110% on your goals and what you want out of life. Develop your career, your networks etc. Learn skills. Read difficult books. Do some writing. Sharpen your mind. All of that is fulfilling and will lead to a better life.
Women will come and go. Don't sweat it.
nicknack 2y ago
She came to the date looking for something to criticize and eliminate you. Never had good intentions. Still hung up on her ex and would drop you like a garbage on the side of the road if her ex called her no matter how good your date(s) went anyway. See it as a blessing you didn’t waste more time and money.
Women do this all the time. To them a date is putting on some shitty makeup and showing up. You have to be the one to get her out, choose the game plan, the place, time, what you’re gonna eat / drink, pay for the bill, you name it. They just go on the date as it’s all free and easy and it gives them something to do / gossip about with their friends.
whytehorse2021 2y ago
You sound like a fag(feminine). It comes across as beta. Think of some nerd with a spreadsheet listing all the reasons this woman should choose you. Like as if you can use logic to make her have genuine desire for you. Go study up on command presence and assertiveness. Imagine using that voice as a cop and going up to a thug and saying "Ummmm, excuse me sir. Could you please put your hands on your head? Please?". See?