Guys how I am supposed to deal with this? When I interact with women these days, I feel so awkward because everyone my age has already had some kind of relationship and everyone has already had sex so women my age expect me to be comfortable with having some kind of sexual conversation with them but I am facing a huge psychological barrier because my lack of experience keeps getting into my head.
I found a person to go gaming with but where I live, we can only go approach women in bars/clubs and I have to spend so much money every weekend just to maybe pull a girl? I feel so frustrated I don't know what to do. I don't even have a lot of money right now because I am working on a business with my dad right now and I am not getting a lot of money to spend on clubs and bars. Girls also look at me and assume I am a very nice guy because I am very polite and was raised to behave like a "gentlemen". This just makes things 100x harder for me.
If anyone has been in my situation before and transformed their lives please give me advice
Bulba 2y ago
Besides generic advice such as “level up your game” and “work on yourself”, there’s one trick that usually works: change your location to somewhere easier to get laid.
You can do that permanently by actually moving somewhere else, or temporarily by going on vacation.
ethier88 2y ago
Yeah I feel like location is a huge roadblock for me because I am living in the same place I grew up in so I am kinda hitting a plateau in terms of social opportunities.
Einsamer 2y ago
Use it to your advantage.
First: sex is like every other skill. A lot of people with quite some experience are still performing worse than a virgin with a bit of talent. Even worse: someone who had only have starfish sex might think that this is how it has to be and is hence performing even worse.
Second: sex, especially for girls, happens in their head. So what happens before the sex is extremely important. If you are a virgin or not doesn't matter for this part.
Third: how well you perform is much less important than you think. Forget about what she thinks about you, that's the best approach, even if you are super experienced.
And last but not least fourth: it might be surprising but can actually be honest to the girl, in a playful way. Escalate properly, touch her, tease her and when she gets starts to get hot and touches you, pull back and say "You know what? I actually saved myself until I met someone special... I wonder if that could be you" with a grin. There are variations, depending on the situation. It's important that she can't tell if it's a joke or not. Also, for some girls you might not joke but be serious - it depends on their personally.
Obviously you don't do that in a club's toilet - you do it in case of a netflix&chill or similar.
So now you know that it's not 100x harder for you, it is just 15% harder for you compared to someone who had sex a couple of times.
ethier88 2y ago
This is good advice. Thank you I will keep this in mind.
I did not know that. I feel a lot better reading that. Thank you
mattyanon Admin 2y ago
Ok.
First you need to sort your fucking head out. Do not define yourself as a virgin. Do not define yourself as a loser. That's incel talk, and you're not that.
Nope, they haven't all. Some never will.
Yeah, that gentleman shit your parents taught you is...... sorry to say..... fucking bullshit. Girls don't respect it, men don't respect it, women walk all over guys who supplicate.
The answer is this: don't be friends with girls (they make shit friends). Try to fuck them. You don't have to be rude about it, but being a gentleman will get you fucking nowhere. You've learned this already.
It doesn't make things "100x harder".... you just need to learn to behave attractively rather than nicely.
You are not as special/weird as you think - lots of guys your age haven't lost their virginity. I was around your age.... maybe a little younger, but not much. It's fine, it doesn't matter.
So, try to get out of your "poor me / victim / worst guy with women ever" shit, it's not helping you.
Right, on to your plan of action, here's a load of suggestions for you:
You don't have to be perfect, but being more attractive has zero downsides.
Build a social life. Seriously. This, more than anything, will get you girls. Regular hangout, invite people round, be popular, create social events, do things with people..... DO THINGS. Eventually you'll get popular, go to parties, meet their friends and this will get you girls the easy way.
Forget bars and clubs. This is girls on super hard mode. Girls go to clubs especially to get attention, not to get laid. You can meet girls in bars, but it's very difficult. You need to make a great impression in zero time and then physically escalate, invite her out, and so on. It's great fun if you can do it, but it's the hardest way to start.
You're young, you've got decades to get good at this shit. Quit whining and bitching and start building an awesome life for yourself.
ethier88 2y ago
Yeah true tho. It has almost become second nature to me. Any suggestions on how I can unlearn this behaviour?
That is beautifully said. I will try this more
Again very true. I have been feeling sorry for myself and I will try not to anymore
I have made good progress here but I have sleeper build tho so people can't really see my muscles till I am wearing a sleeveless shirt.
This is the part I am struggling with the most. Most of friends from school/college have moved away and people around me have established circles so it is getting very difficult to form new circles because everyone is preoccupied with their lives/social circles. I am not using this as an excuse to play the victim but I would like some suggestions on how to deal with this.
Will do. I will keep practicing and building up my skills. Thank you for your advice. Appreciate it!
mattyanon Admin 2y ago
Work out better behaviour and do that. Women will always steer you to be more beta though, so don't listen to feedback while you transition.
read my blog on here.
No-Stress-Cat 1 2y ago
Found another gold nugget, gentlemen!