Im not sure If there’s something wrong with me if anything at all. I wanna preface this by saying I will be going to my doctor in a week or so to get further evaluated, but I wanted to hear opinions.
Background: I’m first generation with ethnic parents (African specifically), with very strong cultural roots and traditions. Recently realized mom is a raging Narcissist and extremely prome to anger and dad is an passive enabler, he’s basically scared of her himself .Wasn’t a popular kid per se but I played a lot of sports in hs, was associated/cool with popular kids, so no bullying or anything.
Im realizing My main problem In everything I do is Im so emotional to the point where it’s crippling. If my mood is ruined I literally have trouble staying focused for the rest of the day. So much so that I completely can’t concentrate and my day falls apart. I wear it on my face, you can see the instant mood change I can’t hide it. It affects my interactions with women, men, etc. people call me a space cadet because im often wondering or thinking about something someone said to me. Its crazy too because people see me as social and able to approach girls. But every rejection takes a huge toll, could be in person, online, not answering a snapchat, whatever. Women can see it I know they can, the look of despair when they shit test me and my face reveals my inner turmoil.
But honestly fuck girls im more focused on why it happens with everything. I mess up, or someone makes fun of me. I’ll think about it for hours.
The problem is I don’t know what’s causing it or how to fix it. I’ve read through threads here and apparently an ADHD symptom is emotional dysregulation and my doctor thinks I have it but needs to test further. But then I hear depression mimics Adhd which my doctor also suggested I had. OCD too I literally forgot what I was gonna say in this and its still bothering me lol. Bad sleep is another one. I have low self esteem/self confidence. But then they say children of narcissists are like this. But there all confounding So which is it, what came first the chicken or the egg. Im losing my mind.
For reference Ive been lifting heavy for almost 10years. I have a active social life . I don’t have any of the symptoms of low T I honestly have the opposite of them. I play sports. Tried meditating for a month. I Hang around a lot of men. Firefighter so I do dangerous stuff. I do hate my life though. Been unemployed for a while, absolute number 1 priority is getting job dw.
My emotions completely control me. I don’t want to be a victim and want to take responsibility. But I’ve always been like this so im wondering why. Even in sports when the coach would yell at me id be sad. The main reason I didn’t reach my potential in sports.
Im begging yall how do I go about fixing this?? im tired of my emotions controlling me

whytehorse2021 3y ago
I was the same when I was around narcissists. GET OUT!!!
[deleted] 3y ago
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JamesSkepp Moderator 3y ago
Start meditating daily. Start with 5mins work up to 20-30. Every day. Not for a month, but for the forseeable future. If you do this right and stick to it you will gain clarity and an addionale tile between trigger>emotion for you to be able to choose not to participate in the emotion.
3.Take action. Any action really as action overrides negative emotions. Yu have to exert mental effort to keep feeling xyz - so focusing on something takes thet away. Be sure that you actually focus on the action, meaning the action has to require mental participation - like coding or solving a math problem etc.
Start noticing the pattern of the thoughts/emotions. That are pattern almost always in these cases. Observe how you participate in them. You have leaned and internalized these patterns b/c for whatever reason your brain likes to participate in them. Our brains work by creating a neural "path", each time you travel it it gets stronger. This is how learning works, you learn by repeating stuff.
Long story short you have learned to care to much and you have to unlearn it now while at the same time learning not to care.