So smashed this chick who I went on a second date at her house. She was hitting me with LMR but as soon as I got agreesive she came from PIV.
Anyway she went hard LMR for afterwards so clearly I’m doing something wrong. She mentioned she thought I sometimes get nervous around here. And I like to be affectionate.
I think I’m messing up with showing affection to fuck a girl and coming across as beta. She didn’t make any sexual advancements but some kissing. I have a few girls on the go but hard when I don’t have my own place.
This has put me off her as she is trying to gain control and she’s a slut. How do I avoid too much comfort when trying to smash
mattyanon Admin 1y ago
It's not you.... females do this.
At least avoid COMMITMENT....... don't agree to see her again, don't plan for the future, future dates, etc. "We'll see" is as far as you go, don't agree to anything until she's had chance to miss you (eg at least 3 days)
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Bozza 1y ago
Don't build too much comfort. Your frame should always be sexual.
Comfort and validation are handed out sparingly for strategic purpose. You give just enough to warm her up and get her comfortable with your advances.
Once you've fucked, you hand it out to reward good behavior, and to keep the plate spinning.
It's essentially a shit test.
You're trying to establish a strong sexual frame, and she is trying to see if she can break that frame and get you to give her comfort/validation instead.
This is the main issue. You're acting nervous (beta) around her and she can sense it. She can sense that your frame isn't strong and it's drying her up.
OPPTRP 1y ago
The thing is I have not. Will maybe ask what she meant I’m never nervous around her. Maybe don’t hold as much eye contact because I’m not that into her
Yeah will apply dread and reward her. Some examples of things deemed reward worthy?
Vermillion-Rx Admin 1y ago
Probably not establishing enough rapport and comfort before fucking. Or the sex didn't feel like it "just happened" or both