I'm going through something similar, so hoping someone a bit more experienced will comment.

Was FWB with this girl at uni, she's fickle, might be a me problem, I don't know, I've always tried to mix alpha traits with comfort.

[redacted]

See some photos of her with a new guy, assuming she's taking things seriously with him, so I haven't bothered reaching out. She still messages me every couple of days and what not, I just respond aloofly and go on with my day. Part of me thinks I shouldn't even bother talking to her but what do I know, hoping someone will chime in.

Cheers.

Can't help but wonder just how common this really is, though?

My FWB's last 2 to 5 years. Things end because they get kinda just....... not as good as they were. Possibly the girl expects a LTR and marriage, I don't really know nor care.

. Day before our next 'meeting', she blows me off with a text about how she was apparently in the early stage of dating some guy and no longer comfortable seeing me on the side.

Fair enough

I'm just wondering if I fucked up somewhere or if she just deviated from the 'girls just want to have fun' mode to 'girl wants comfort' mode.

They wobble between the two. It's not that you fuck up.

She isn't yours, it was just your turn.

"Relationships" are a socially acceptable label that women use to justify sleeping regularly with a man. It's what they tell themselves and their entourage to not be perceived as sluts.

Bonus, relationships come with an added bonus whereby the man usually provides some forms of tangible and intangible benefits on top of dick. ("It's ok to jump on his dick. Look, he does all this for me!").

"Relationships" are heavily tilted to benefit the female primarily. And absent civilization, women will go back doing what female mammals usually do: fuck the alphas unapologetically.

Your job is to provide just enough "semblance of a relationship" to assuage her hamstering. Provided you want to keep her that is.

(n.b. still experimenting with this).

True story: there's a nail salon on the way to my gym. One day I see A DUDE going in there with his woman. My gut reaction was to yell "BETA!!!!". She wasn't hot or anything, just high maintenance and he was her meal ticket. The moral of the story is you were her meal ticket when she wanted dick and he was her meal ticket when she wanted spa maintenance. There are women who will date a plumber when they need their house plumbing fixed and then date an electrician when they need electric work done.

Plates break at various times based on what the woman is after at the time. In many cases with modern women, they have this covert contract where they think they can backdoor their way into a relationship through sex. They have it all planned out. 3 months to kick in your mating instincts and get pussy-whipped. Then they go for commitment. They may hang around a while longer for commitment. Sometimes up to a year if there's nobody else on offer. Eventually they realize you're not going to commit and they move on. If you do commit, they start to trickle-feed you pussy while they get you to enter their frame. Next thing you know you're simping and so they turn you into their beta orbiter and drain all your resources for no sex.

Main thing that is fucking me up is that I don't (completely?) understand why she'd ditch me, since I estimate an extremely low likelihood of said other guy having equal or higher SMV.

This is probably cope.

I know I usually get downvoted for saying this, but girls don't care about looks as much as you think, and they care about money way more than you realize. If this other guy is showing off more cash than you, well, there's your answer.

Guys often mess up by thinking that what they look for in a partner is also top priority for women. Men pick girls mostly by their looks and personality, so they tend to think that this is also what girls are looking for in a man.

This kind of delusion goes both ways. Girls think that if they nail their careers and become these strong, independent women, they'll catch the perfect guy - because that's what they're looking for in a man. But we all know that we couldn't care less about a girl's career status.

this is extremely variable, it depends upon the woman and her needs.

I had plates in college that only lasted about 6 months, the girls kept asking for more, every single time. This after I explained my expectations on "time" as I was very busy. They kept pushing, so I had to move on.

Each time, they were pissed and freaked out I was moving on, they promised to behave, anything I wanted. I never looked back because you know it would never stop and drama would occur, so I stopped it.

Some girls (especially way after college) would ditch me, because I wouldn't commit. They gave me a timeframe, didn't see it moving where they wanted, and moved on. You may be her best option , (for a plate), but many women don't want to be just a plate. If they don't see themselves getting a promotion, they look for a new employer.

The same thing happened to me. Plated a girl for a few months, but out of nowhere she blew me off, and started dating another guy. This girl was all over me, texting me 24/7, cooked for me, did everything for me. But she was getting no relationship out of me and was turning 26, so she was looking for something serious. Sometimes they just want something serious, that's it.